Author: Lara

 
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I Love You, You Love Me

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…We’re a happy family…

Admit it, you sang it in your head, too.

I can’t help but think of that big, ugly purple dinosaur when I look at my fingernails. They’re just so…purple…

I used Julep “Rosa” – Amethyst for February on top of Julep “Elle”. Honestly, I’m not in love with this paint job. I screwed up my thumbnail and the glitter got covered with the purple and the glitter doesn’t look right. I need either a darker glitter over the dark base or a lighter base to go with the light glitter. “Rosa” looked a lot better over a lighter color on my toes a few weeks ago.

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Monkey Toes

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See how I grip the bottle with my toes?

I have the prehensile toes of a monkey.

I painted my toes on Sunday with Maybelline Color Show Holographic in “Mystic Green.” Rather than anything mystic, this color reminds me of a crushed velvet sofa from the 70s. I look at my toes and I think of mothballs…

I wish I could think of where I saw that sofa…or maybe was it a chair? Maybe my sister’s old apartment?

This is going to eat me up until I remember…

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March Julep Maven Box

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I am supposed to be an “It Girl”, but I haven’t actually gotten an “It Girl” box since the first month I joined.

This month, I actually picked the “Core Classics” box, because I couldn’t stand ANY of the colors in ANY of the Julep box combinations. This month’s theme was “the Riviera Collection” and all of the colors looked like the pastel colors you’d see on Country Club golfers. And NO glitter. I also wasn’t interested in an exfoliating lip buffer.

The “Core Classics” box has Freedom Polymer Topcoat (so popular that it often sells out), Oxygen Nail Treatment (I don’t even know what that means) and a nail cleaning tool, which I already happen to have. C’est la vie…at least there was some candy in the box.

Hoping for something better next month…

Not a Julep Maven? CLICK HERE to join! Your first box is free with code FREEBOX!

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The Purge

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After painting my nails, I decided to clean out my makeup drawers…you know, to make room for more makeup.

For years – nay decades, I’ve been searching for the perfect foundation. I scooped up all the failed attempts – Revlon Colorstay, L’Oreal True Match and whatever other liquid, powder and concealer and chunked it.

All the old eyeshadow, blush and lipstick, I put in a box for Lily to play with. There were about a dozen Clinique, Lancome and whatever “Gift  with Purchase” lipsticks that my mother had given me. Since she died nearly 9 years ago, I figure that I had held onto them long enough.

I found enough old razors to shave a Sasquatch – gone. I found 3 boxes of Sally Hansen mustache bleach – ha! Gone. A squeeze bottle from when I used to dye my own hair…lord knows I won’t be doing that again. I found an unused pregnancy test…I kept it, but not sure why.

As good as buying stuff feels, throwing stuff away feels even better! I’m not quite back to square one makeup wise, I kept all of the Urban Decay eye stuff, no matter how old.  I’m not quite THAT strong.

I also learned something very important today. Don’t ever tag a pic #Purge on Instagram. Apparently, that’s what anorexics, bulimics and cutters use to tag their posts. I clicked on the tag and was treated to pics of bleeding forearms. WTF teenagers? What happened to getting wasted on Mad Dog and Strawberry Hill and giving yourself tattoos with India Ink?

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The Rusty Trombone

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Behold…THE RUSTY TROMBONE.

If you don’t know what a Rusty Trombone is, I am not going to be the one to tell you. Go ask your kid or something, you old fuddy duddy.

There are many layers to this manicure. The first layer is Sally Hansen Nail Prisms in “Amber Ruby.” It was the closest thing to rust that I had. The second coat is Julep “Glenda” – a creamy silver crackle. Since trombones are usually made of brass, I used Milani 3D Holographic “510” as the third layer. (WTF Milani?)

After 3 coats, my nails were super gooey, so I topped with a coat of Sally Hansen “Diamond Flash Quick Drying Topcoat.” It’s been over 5 hours and I don’t feel like the polish has cured. Hmmm…this rusty trombone might not last long…

 

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Rita Royale

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I couldn’t decide which new filthy experiment to do with my nails last night, so I decided to be lazy and try out one of my new Julep polishes – “Rita Royale.”

Doesn’t “Rita Royale” sound like a used up 70s porn star?

I was excited to see how well the polish matched my car – SQUEE!

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Everybody Wins

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Another day, another surprise in my mailbox.’

I tried to resist, but I only made it about 3 days until I decided that I had to buy $25 of Julep goodies to get their Oscar “Gift with Purchase.” The set was called “Everybody Wins” and comes with a gold sequined clutch (lined with leopard!) and 2 polishes. There were actually 2 sets – both come with “Oscar”gold glitter, but “Holly Would” comes with a holly green frost and “Rita Royale” comes with royal blackcurrant shimmer. (Whatever, it’s fucking fuchshia.)

To get these goodies, I purchased “Party’s Over”, a special glitter polish removal system. Basically little caps that hold a remover pad of the finger. I also got “Glenda” – a- silver crackle topcoat. I know crackle is so 2012, but I wanted it…

My total – $25.39. Like a boss.

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I Can’t Stop

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I can find a deal anywhere.

Picking up some dinner and ice cream making supplies after work, I couldn’t resist checking to see if there were any clearance polishes. A friend of mine had spied a massive amount of $1.00 – $1.50 polishes on clearance at a different HEB, so I rolled the dice at mine. I found a few $1.00 polishes…2 Maybelline Color Show Holographic polishes – “Mystic Green” and “Blue Blaze.” I also got a little bottle of Rimmel 60 Second in “Blue Eyed Girl” for a future project.

St. Ives Scrubs were also $1 off, so I tried the new varieties – “Pink Lemon and Mandarin Orange” and “Oatmeal Scrub & Mask.” I was also out of Sea Breeze.

And Dr. Delta…because I had a $1.50 off coupon, I bought the friggin’ Eucerin! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!?!?

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My 1st Birchbox

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I got my first Birchbox yesterday!

I’m quickly becoming addicted to subscription boxes…good thing Birchbox is only $10! I signed up in time to get the February box…this is what I got.

Beauty Protector Protect & Oil, which is Argan Oil for your hair. I’ve never even heard of Argan Oil before, so looking forward to trying it.

A sample of “Hello” by Harvey Prince, a citrus-y scent. I am thinking of layering it with B&BW “White Citrus.”

An itty bitty bottle of OPI Sheer Tints “Don’t Violet Me Down.” (My husband picked up the bottle and opened it and declared that something was wrong with the polish – it’s too thin. I assured him that it’s supposed to be like that.) I was disappointed that I didn’t get the Ruby Wing UV polish that my friend Luci got, but I’ll live.

A tiny vial of Truffle Therapy Anti-Aging Serum by Skin&Co Roma, which again, I’ve never heard of. I tried it last night. I was expecting to wake up looking like Snow White, so I was a bit disappointed, but I guess I’ll give it another couple of days to work. I’m just glad I didn’t wake up to a pig rooting around on my face.

Finally, I got 2 teabags from Harney & Sons Fine Teas. I hate iced tea, but I like hot tea, so I’m looking forward to trying them.

If you would like to try Birchbox, click on my referral link – https://www.birchbox.com/invite/5453f – I’ll get 50 points if you join.

 

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1 Monthiversary

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It’s Beauty Hoard’s 1 Monthiversary!

When I started Beauty Hoard, I kind of suspected that I would get bored a few weeks in and would be pissed that I wasted $11.95 on the domain registration. I’m not bored yet…in fact, I am more hyped up than ever. My mind is brimming with all these crazy ideas…are you scared yet? You should be scared.

My Shocker Mani has inspired me…I have a bunch of new ideas that I’m DYING to unleash. If you don’t know what a “Glass Bottom Boat” is, prepare your socks to be knocked off.

In addition, I’ve signed up for Birchbox and Ipsy…so yeah, my addiction is spreading.

Thank you for reading my insane ramblings!