Category: Nails

 
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Trippin’ Disco Balls

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First off, be assured that the pictures does not do my nails justice. I couldn’t quite capture the Disco Ball prism magic with my camera…I usually have no problem getting a nice glitter shot, but the glitter here is so fine that it’s hard to see.

This is Julep “Coretta” – Diamond for April. It’s like a Disco Ball on my fingers. Seriously…I could stare at this polish for HOURS and just watch the colors change.

I used Sally Hansen Diamond Shine for the base coat, but I didn’t use a top coat, because I wanted to keep the slightly sandy texture.

Taste the rainbow…

 

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Dirt Mall Shopping

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My kids tried to tell me that they couldn’t take a shower because they were out of soap. I had to venture out into the hot sun to Big Lots during lunch to eliminate that ridiculous excuse. My kids love cheap character soap and shampoo that’s $1 at Big Lots, so they can have their choice of smelling like Dora, My Little Pony, Monster High, Spongebob – whatever. I filled my cart.

I couldn’t resist picking up a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups lipgloss. Surely my husband would enjoy a big sloppy smackeroo that tastes like his favorite candy? Unfortunately, the cheap tube was leaky and slimy when I took it out of the package. Even worse, it smelled rancid. It was just like those Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellies. That fucking nasty shit went right in the trash. Oh well, it was only $1.

I also stopped by the Dollar Tree next store to grab one of the Beauty Concepts Skull Polishes – I saw it on Instagram and had to have one. I need another pink polish like I need a hole in my head, but again…it was only $1.

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Sari, Not Sari

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Does it really matter that I have dozens of fuchsia/magenta/whatever nail polishes? I keep buying them and I keep loving each new one more than the last.

This is Julep “Neha” from August’s “Wanderlust Collection.” Julep describes it Sari Magenta Shimmer, but Sari isn’t really a color, is it? I’ve seen many Saris this color, so maybe that’s what they mean? Stereotypically Indian Magenta?

I used the last of my Julep Oxygen Smoothing Base Coat – I got only 12 measly uses out of it! I suspect that this base coat is the source of my bubbling problem. “India” did not bubble with the Revlon, but “Neha” bubbled on this first coat! I put that second coat on as quickly as I could and then slapped Sally Hansen “Diamond Flash” on top. I managed to escape with no bubbles…phew!

My biggest disappointment is that my beloved Furious Fuchsia is in the shop after getting rear-ended last week. I have an obsessive desire to compare my polishes to my car to find the perfect match. I won’t be seeing her again until the end of the month…at the earliest. Rude.

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Unicorn Poop

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Doesn’t it look like I stuck my fingertips in Unicorn poop?

Don’t act like you wouldn’t do it. If you came across a glittery pile of feces from a mystical creature, wouldn’t you poke around in it…just to SAY you did?

But who needs Unicorn poop when you have Zoya “Bar” Magical Pixie Dust? I wanted to wear Julep “India” one more day, but I was starting to get major edge wear. “Bar” to the rescue! It literally took 90 seconds to do a quick gradient on the tips and breathe life into my fingertips.

I hope I don’t have nightmares about Unicorn poop…

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Cerulean City

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Take me down to Cerulean City, where the grass is green and Pokémon are pretty…

You may be asking yourself, how does someone as cultured cluttered and sophisticated sophomoric as myself know about Cerulean City. When my husband and I originally shacked up together, he was a bartender. Most days before work, he watched Pokémon…so I watched Pokémon. This was before we could afford more than one TV and before we stopped being nice to each other…so as hard as I tried to ignore it, I subliminally learned a lot about Pokémon.

Flash forward 14 years and two kids later…he’s still playing Pokémon…and so is my son. I just smile and nod.

ANYWAY…Julep “India” is a Boho Glam from August’s “The Wanderlust Collection.” Even though Julep describes “India” as freshwater blue shimmer, it’s  the perfect cerulean blue.

“India” didn’t like the Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat – it did not want to stick. I managed to smooth it out and it looked great by the second coat. A shiny top coat is a must – Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat is what I used. Next time, I’ll try a different base coat.

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August Julep Maven Box – The Wanderlust Collection

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There’s nothing like coming home to a HUGE stack of boxes and mail after being gone a mere 48 hours…

2 zulily boxes, a book from Birchbox, an Ulta ad…and FINALLY, my August Julep Maven Box.

I was supposed to be excited that my Julep dropped DHL and switched to Fed Ex Smartpost, but I didn’t get my box any faster than I had been getting them before.

 

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August’s theme is “The Wanderlust Collection.” I customized my box again this month. I picked a “Smoky Taupe Shimmer” Gel Eye Glider, Boho Glam “India”Freshwater Blue Shimmer – and Bombshell “Neha”Sari Magenta Shimmer.

There was NOTHING else in my box – no card describing the collection, no coupon codes, NO CANDY. I’m sorry about complaining about the Tootsie Rolls…Julep, give me my candy! My BFF also reported nothing else in her box. WTF?

After a weekend fishing, I’ll definitely be trying “India” tonight!

Not a Julep Maven? CLICK HERE to join! Get a special 5 piece Welcome Box with code SHIPSHAPE!

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Glazed Godiva

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Doesn’t it look like I ate a bunch of glazed donuts and didn’t wash my hands? Crusty, sparkly sugar. Gahhhhhh……

It’s not donut gunk – it’s  just Zoya “Godiva” Pixie Dust.

This is two coats of “Godiva”. There’s a hint of Visible Nail Line, but nothing too serious.

I figured since I am spending the weekend at the beach, sparkly sandy nails would be a good fit. I need ALL THE PIXIE DUSTS.

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Chyna…All the Way to New York

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I refuse to associate the lovely Zoya “Chyna” with this Chyna, so I’m going to think about the Tori Amos song instead.

“Chyna” is one of the original Pixie Dusts and quite possibly the best! It would be impossible for me not to compare “Chyna” to Dorothy’s ruby red slippers. Two quick coats and my fingernails were completely dry within 5 minutes – did I mention how much I LOVE Pixie Dust? No base coat or top coat necessary – a perfect Sunday night polish.

How do you like the lighting over my husband’s bathroom sink? I usually take pictures outside in natural light, but I got caught up in Sharknado 2 and by the time I remembered, it was dusk.

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I Say GODDAMN!

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Now THIS is a motherfucking polish.

Urban Decay “Mrs. Mia Wallace” might just replace Zoya “Sooki” as my favorite polish. Look at that deep, blood red.

…and look at that bottle. Instead of my usual “look at my fingernails” pose, I had to show off the bottle with the little skull on top. How fucking cool is that?

It’s been a while since I’ve used Urban Decay polish and I forgot how damn good the brush is. I hardly got it on my cuticles. The formula is nice too – perfect coverage in two thin coats. My one complaint is that I got a few bubbles, but I tend to think it’s because I used Sally Hansen Diamond Shine for the base coat. Sally Hansen Diamond Flash Top Coat helped a little, but I still have a few pinprick bubbles. Next time, I’ll try the Revlon.

I also did my toes, but I’m afraid to take off my socks and look…I used American Classics Yellow Stopper as a base coat…before I googled it and realized that it is NOT a base coat and will make the polish peel off…SIGH. I can be a silly pooh sometimes, but at least I managed to get it off my fingernails before I fucked them up, too.

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Is That All There Is?

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Caribongo “City Girl” was one of my vacay finds.

Indoors, it’s a perfectly average light blue glitter in a clear base. It’s rough and goopy and for some reason, it pulled away from the edges. Even sandwiched between Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat and Top Coat, the surface still had a pebbled feel.

I was surprised at how much polish it took to do two coats – I feel like I used a quarter of the bottle.

 

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The first picture was taken immediately after stepping into the sunlight.

The second picture was after standing in FULL SUN for several minutes. Even though you can see that the polish base in the bottle turned bright red, the change is barely perceptible on my nails.

What the hell? Is that all there is?

This shit cost TWICE as much as Funky Fingers and doesn’t even work half as well.

Son of a bitch.