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Free Ulta Goodies

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Ulta is so weird. They shipped all my “Gifts with Purchase” in a separate shipment than what I actually paid for. Why would they pay the extra shipping on stuff they’re giving my for free? Whatever…

I got a free StriVectin Age-Fighting Kit – let’s face it, I’m brushing up against the underside of 40. I’m about to have to start buying this stuff for real. There’s eye cream, wrinkle cream and neck tightening cream. Oh my…I wonder what else it will tighten.

I also got samples of Urban Decay Ultra Definition Face and Primer. Everyone is shoving their primers down my throat!

I also got ANOTHER set of fragrance samples. Marc Jacobs “Dot” is alright, but Elizabeth Arden “Untold” smells straight-up Church Lady. Ack. There’s also a Versace sample that I can’t figure out what the name is and another Escada. Speaking of Escada – Lily and I wore the “Especially Escada Delicate Notes” sample today. I wonder if she turned heads as she strutted into the kindergarten classroom? She had to be the best smelling 6 year old there!

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Ulta Shipment!

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It’s only been a few days since I got mail…my mailbox has been so lonely!

I decided to treat myself and get one of the Urban Decay Naked Palettes. I was eyeballing them at Ulta last week and took the plunge. Upon Amy’s suggestion, I went with the Naked 2 Palette. She has Naked 3 and said it was okay, but her daughter has Naked 2 and she likes it better. I am so SINGLE WHITE FEMALE.

I also took Beth’s recommendation and ordered L’Oreal Magic BB Cream. Fingers crossed – I’m trying it tomorrow!

I also had an email offer for a free StriVectin Skincare Kit, but that is coming in a different shipment…odd.

The fun thing about Ulta is that you get Samples with every purchase. I chose the Fragrance Sampler and got Especially Escada, Guess Girl and Calvin Klein Encounter. Encounter is for Men, so the husband gets it. I sniffed it for him and managed to spill it all over my fingers. 3 hours later and a dozen handwashings later and I still smell it. To me, all Calvin Klein scents smell exactly the same. It’s GROSS…and I can’t get it OFF ME.

 

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I Love You, You Love Me

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…We’re a happy family…

Admit it, you sang it in your head, too.

I can’t help but think of that big, ugly purple dinosaur when I look at my fingernails. They’re just so…purple…

I used Julep “Rosa” – Amethyst for February on top of Julep “Elle”. Honestly, I’m not in love with this paint job. I screwed up my thumbnail and the glitter got covered with the purple and the glitter doesn’t look right. I need either a darker glitter over the dark base or a lighter base to go with the light glitter. “Rosa” looked a lot better over a lighter color on my toes a few weeks ago.

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Monkey Toes

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See how I grip the bottle with my toes?

I have the prehensile toes of a monkey.

I painted my toes on Sunday with Maybelline Color Show Holographic in “Mystic Green.” Rather than anything mystic, this color reminds me of a crushed velvet sofa from the 70s. I look at my toes and I think of mothballs…

I wish I could think of where I saw that sofa…or maybe was it a chair? Maybe my sister’s old apartment?

This is going to eat me up until I remember…

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March Julep Maven Box

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I am supposed to be an “It Girl”, but I haven’t actually gotten an “It Girl” box since the first month I joined.

This month, I actually picked the “Core Classics” box, because I couldn’t stand ANY of the colors in ANY of the Julep box combinations. This month’s theme was “the Riviera Collection” and all of the colors looked like the pastel colors you’d see on Country Club golfers. And NO glitter. I also wasn’t interested in an exfoliating lip buffer.

The “Core Classics” box has Freedom Polymer Topcoat (so popular that it often sells out), Oxygen Nail Treatment (I don’t even know what that means) and a nail cleaning tool, which I already happen to have. C’est la vie…at least there was some candy in the box.

Hoping for something better next month…

Not a Julep Maven? CLICK HERE to join! Your first box is free with code FREEBOX!

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The Purge

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After painting my nails, I decided to clean out my makeup drawers…you know, to make room for more makeup.

For years – nay decades, I’ve been searching for the perfect foundation. I scooped up all the failed attempts – Revlon Colorstay, L’Oreal True Match and whatever other liquid, powder and concealer and chunked it.

All the old eyeshadow, blush and lipstick, I put in a box for Lily to play with. There were about a dozen Clinique, Lancome and whatever “Gift  with Purchase” lipsticks that my mother had given me. Since she died nearly 9 years ago, I figure that I had held onto them long enough.

I found enough old razors to shave a Sasquatch – gone. I found 3 boxes of Sally Hansen mustache bleach – ha! Gone. A squeeze bottle from when I used to dye my own hair…lord knows I won’t be doing that again. I found an unused pregnancy test…I kept it, but not sure why.

As good as buying stuff feels, throwing stuff away feels even better! I’m not quite back to square one makeup wise, I kept all of the Urban Decay eye stuff, no matter how old.  I’m not quite THAT strong.

I also learned something very important today. Don’t ever tag a pic #Purge on Instagram. Apparently, that’s what anorexics, bulimics and cutters use to tag their posts. I clicked on the tag and was treated to pics of bleeding forearms. WTF teenagers? What happened to getting wasted on Mad Dog and Strawberry Hill and giving yourself tattoos with India Ink?

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The Rusty Trombone

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Behold…THE RUSTY TROMBONE.

If you don’t know what a Rusty Trombone is, I am not going to be the one to tell you. Go ask your kid or something, you old fuddy duddy.

There are many layers to this manicure. The first layer is Sally Hansen Nail Prisms in “Amber Ruby.” It was the closest thing to rust that I had. The second coat is Julep “Glenda” – a creamy silver crackle. Since trombones are usually made of brass, I used Milani 3D Holographic “510” as the third layer. (WTF Milani?)

After 3 coats, my nails were super gooey, so I topped with a coat of Sally Hansen “Diamond Flash Quick Drying Topcoat.” It’s been over 5 hours and I don’t feel like the polish has cured. Hmmm…this rusty trombone might not last long…

 

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Rita Royale

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I couldn’t decide which new filthy experiment to do with my nails last night, so I decided to be lazy and try out one of my new Julep polishes – “Rita Royale.”

Doesn’t “Rita Royale” sound like a used up 70s porn star?

I was excited to see how well the polish matched my car – SQUEE!

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Everybody Wins

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Another day, another surprise in my mailbox.’

I tried to resist, but I only made it about 3 days until I decided that I had to buy $25 of Julep goodies to get their Oscar “Gift with Purchase.” The set was called “Everybody Wins” and comes with a gold sequined clutch (lined with leopard!) and 2 polishes. There were actually 2 sets – both come with “Oscar”gold glitter, but “Holly Would” comes with a holly green frost and “Rita Royale” comes with royal blackcurrant shimmer. (Whatever, it’s fucking fuchshia.)

To get these goodies, I purchased “Party’s Over”, a special glitter polish removal system. Basically little caps that hold a remover pad of the finger. I also got “Glenda” – a- silver crackle topcoat. I know crackle is so 2012, but I wanted it…

My total – $25.39. Like a boss.

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I Can’t Stop

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I can find a deal anywhere.

Picking up some dinner and ice cream making supplies after work, I couldn’t resist checking to see if there were any clearance polishes. A friend of mine had spied a massive amount of $1.00 – $1.50 polishes on clearance at a different HEB, so I rolled the dice at mine. I found a few $1.00 polishes…2 Maybelline Color Show Holographic polishes – “Mystic Green” and “Blue Blaze.” I also got a little bottle of Rimmel 60 Second in “Blue Eyed Girl” for a future project.

St. Ives Scrubs were also $1 off, so I tried the new varieties – “Pink Lemon and Mandarin Orange” and “Oatmeal Scrub & Mask.” I was also out of Sea Breeze.

And Dr. Delta…because I had a $1.50 off coupon, I bought the friggin’ Eucerin! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!?!?