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Classy, not Brassy

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I tried and tried and tried to come up with a filthy way to describe this manicure, but I simply couldn’t. It’s too classy.

So that’s what it’s called – Classy.

I used Julep “Lois” – not for the color necessarily, but to hide the blue stains on my nails from the last paint job. I then topped with Julep “Oscar”. The results were stunning. If light isn’t hitting the glitter directly, it’s almost a nude look…but as soon as light hits the glitter, it’s like each finger is a miniature gold disco ball. My husband busted me staring at my fingers last night. I tried to explain to him that if you had little disco balls on your fingertips, you wouldn’t be able to stop looking at them either!

I feel that I have disappointed you. I promise that I’ll try to be filthier in the future.

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Hoarding Exhibit 3: The Shower

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If my AntiBac collection was exhibit 1 and my lotion basket was exhibit 2, then my shower stall is exhibit 3 in .

“Pure Paradise”. “Mad About You”. “Butterfly Flower”. “Paris in Bloom”. “Carried Away”. “Black Raspberry Vanilla”. “Carried Away”. “Into the Wild”.

Oh…and up top, Lush Pure Rose, Herbal Essences and Caress “Daily Silkening” Body Washes…and “Carried Away” Sugar Scrub.

I’ve got more issues than National Geographic.

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Superman Dat Ho

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Why yes, I DO get all my ideas from Urban Dictionary.

Superman Dat Ho is a base coat of Rimmel 60 Second “Blue Eyed Girl”, topped with a coat of Julep “America” – red, white and silver glitter, with silver stars. I LURVES it!

In related fragrance sample news, I tried the Versace sample that I got from Ulta yesterday. It was SO FOUL that my husband demanded that I take a shower. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to shower again and had to leave the house. As soon as I got back home from Lily’s gymnastics class, I scrubbed up to the elbows with AntiBac, like a fucking surgeon. I can still kind of smell it.

To be fair, it might have been men’s cologne. Whatever it was, it was GROSS.

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Free Ulta Goodies

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Ulta is so weird. They shipped all my “Gifts with Purchase” in a separate shipment than what I actually paid for. Why would they pay the extra shipping on stuff they’re giving my for free? Whatever…

I got a free StriVectin Age-Fighting Kit – let’s face it, I’m brushing up against the underside of 40. I’m about to have to start buying this stuff for real. There’s eye cream, wrinkle cream and neck tightening cream. Oh my…I wonder what else it will tighten.

I also got samples of Urban Decay Ultra Definition Face and Primer. Everyone is shoving their primers down my throat!

I also got ANOTHER set of fragrance samples. Marc Jacobs “Dot” is alright, but Elizabeth Arden “Untold” smells straight-up Church Lady. Ack. There’s also a Versace sample that I can’t figure out what the name is and another Escada. Speaking of Escada – Lily and I wore the “Especially Escada Delicate Notes” sample today. I wonder if she turned heads as she strutted into the kindergarten classroom? She had to be the best smelling 6 year old there!

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Ulta Shipment!

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It’s only been a few days since I got mail…my mailbox has been so lonely!

I decided to treat myself and get one of the Urban Decay Naked Palettes. I was eyeballing them at Ulta last week and took the plunge. Upon Amy’s suggestion, I went with the Naked 2 Palette. She has Naked 3 and said it was okay, but her daughter has Naked 2 and she likes it better. I am so SINGLE WHITE FEMALE.

I also took Beth’s recommendation and ordered L’Oreal Magic BB Cream. Fingers crossed – I’m trying it tomorrow!

I also had an email offer for a free StriVectin Skincare Kit, but that is coming in a different shipment…odd.

The fun thing about Ulta is that you get Samples with every purchase. I chose the Fragrance Sampler and got Especially Escada, Guess Girl and Calvin Klein Encounter. Encounter is for Men, so the husband gets it. I sniffed it for him and managed to spill it all over my fingers. 3 hours later and a dozen handwashings later and I still smell it. To me, all Calvin Klein scents smell exactly the same. It’s GROSS…and I can’t get it OFF ME.

 

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I Love You, You Love Me

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…We’re a happy family…

Admit it, you sang it in your head, too.

I can’t help but think of that big, ugly purple dinosaur when I look at my fingernails. They’re just so…purple…

I used Julep “Rosa” – Amethyst for February on top of Julep “Elle”. Honestly, I’m not in love with this paint job. I screwed up my thumbnail and the glitter got covered with the purple and the glitter doesn’t look right. I need either a darker glitter over the dark base or a lighter base to go with the light glitter. “Rosa” looked a lot better over a lighter color on my toes a few weeks ago.

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Monkey Toes

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See how I grip the bottle with my toes?

I have the prehensile toes of a monkey.

I painted my toes on Sunday with Maybelline Color Show Holographic in “Mystic Green.” Rather than anything mystic, this color reminds me of a crushed velvet sofa from the 70s. I look at my toes and I think of mothballs…

I wish I could think of where I saw that sofa…or maybe was it a chair? Maybe my sister’s old apartment?

This is going to eat me up until I remember…

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March Julep Maven Box

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I am supposed to be an “It Girl”, but I haven’t actually gotten an “It Girl” box since the first month I joined.

This month, I actually picked the “Core Classics” box, because I couldn’t stand ANY of the colors in ANY of the Julep box combinations. This month’s theme was “the Riviera Collection” and all of the colors looked like the pastel colors you’d see on Country Club golfers. And NO glitter. I also wasn’t interested in an exfoliating lip buffer.

The “Core Classics” box has Freedom Polymer Topcoat (so popular that it often sells out), Oxygen Nail Treatment (I don’t even know what that means) and a nail cleaning tool, which I already happen to have. C’est la vie…at least there was some candy in the box.

Hoping for something better next month…

Not a Julep Maven? CLICK HERE to join! Your first box is free with code FREEBOX!

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The Purge

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After painting my nails, I decided to clean out my makeup drawers…you know, to make room for more makeup.

For years – nay decades, I’ve been searching for the perfect foundation. I scooped up all the failed attempts – Revlon Colorstay, L’Oreal True Match and whatever other liquid, powder and concealer and chunked it.

All the old eyeshadow, blush and lipstick, I put in a box for Lily to play with. There were about a dozen Clinique, Lancome and whatever “Gift  with Purchase” lipsticks that my mother had given me. Since she died nearly 9 years ago, I figure that I had held onto them long enough.

I found enough old razors to shave a Sasquatch – gone. I found 3 boxes of Sally Hansen mustache bleach – ha! Gone. A squeeze bottle from when I used to dye my own hair…lord knows I won’t be doing that again. I found an unused pregnancy test…I kept it, but not sure why.

As good as buying stuff feels, throwing stuff away feels even better! I’m not quite back to square one makeup wise, I kept all of the Urban Decay eye stuff, no matter how old.  I’m not quite THAT strong.

I also learned something very important today. Don’t ever tag a pic #Purge on Instagram. Apparently, that’s what anorexics, bulimics and cutters use to tag their posts. I clicked on the tag and was treated to pics of bleeding forearms. WTF teenagers? What happened to getting wasted on Mad Dog and Strawberry Hill and giving yourself tattoos with India Ink?

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The Rusty Trombone

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Behold…THE RUSTY TROMBONE.

If you don’t know what a Rusty Trombone is, I am not going to be the one to tell you. Go ask your kid or something, you old fuddy duddy.

There are many layers to this manicure. The first layer is Sally Hansen Nail Prisms in “Amber Ruby.” It was the closest thing to rust that I had. The second coat is Julep “Glenda” – a creamy silver crackle. Since trombones are usually made of brass, I used Milani 3D Holographic “510” as the third layer. (WTF Milani?)

After 3 coats, my nails were super gooey, so I topped with a coat of Sally Hansen “Diamond Flash Quick Drying Topcoat.” It’s been over 5 hours and I don’t feel like the polish has cured. Hmmm…this rusty trombone might not last long…