Tag: Fingernails


A Wild and an Untamed Thing


I’m a wild and an untamed thing. I’m a bee with a deadly sting.

The second I finished my nails, I thought of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. At first I thought COLUMBIA, but there wasn’t any gold. Then I realized – FLOOR SHOW. My nails remind me of the corsets from the Floor Show. I really should do a manicure for every character in Rocky Horror, although I’m too lazy to do plaid for Dr. Scott.

Instead of starting fresh, I put the glitters on top of Seche “All Lit Up”. The darker is Revlon “Brilliant Bordeaux” and the redder is Revlon “Ruby Ribbon”. Again, I topped with Sally Hansen Diamond Flash. I am learning about topcoats…slowly, slowly.

Yes, I know that the cuticle on my middle finger is fucked up. Don’t remind me…


All Lit Up


So this is Seche “All Lit Up”.

In the bottle, it looks like deep crimson with gold shimmer, but when it I actually got it on my nails, it became more berry colored and the gold shimmer disappeared. Because it’s dark outside, I had to take the picture in my bathroom and the color looks quite a bit darker than in sunlight.

This is my first experience with Seche and I was impressed by how smoothly it applied and how quickly it dried.

Coincidentally, this is the EXACT color of my underwear. TMI? You’re welcome.


Mother’s Day


Oh, Mother’s Day.

I have a love/hate relationship with Mother’s Day. The hate has faded a bit in recent years. Mostly love now, but the twinges of hate since I lost my mother are still there. I can’t imagine how people without children or mothers can tolerate Mother’s Day. My first Mother’s Day as a mother was also my last Mother’s Day with my mother – I never had a gap where I was alone on the holiday. Even then, the first few years were difficult, even with my kids and husband rallying around me. I’m able to love it now because my husband goes the extra mile in facilitating how my kids show their appreciation. I’m not talking flowers and chocolate necessarily, but the true expression of what my children think that I will enjoy.


The true expression of what my son thought I would enjoy was my very own Zebco fishing pole. He had been planning this gift since Spring Break, when I caught my first fish – and fishing fever – using Lily’s ‘Dora the Explorer’ fishing pole. It’s hot pink and awesome, but he was very disappointed that he couldn’t find one that exactly matched my car. He told me that he knows how important it is that everything match my car.

He also cooked me breakfast – red velvet waffles and scrambled eggs. It was DAMN good.




The true expression of what my daughter thought I would enjoy was…of course…fingernail polish. I had my suspicions when she and my husband snuck away while I was at Target yesterday. She picked out 7 polishes for me: 3 China Glaze Crinkled Chrome“Crush, Crush Baby”, “Don’t Be Foiled” & “Wrinkling the Sheets” (I already have the first 2, but so what), Nina “Blue La La” & “Gold Flake Topcoat”, Orly “Bubbly Bombshell” and Sally Girl “Red Glitter”.

In order to show my daughter how much I love her, I let her paint my fingernails. I have NEVER let her paint my fingernails before. For my left hand, she chose Nina “Blue La La” and “Gold Flake Topcoat”. It looking amazing together! For my right hand, she chose “Crush, Crush Baby” and “Bubbly Bombshell”. Again, an impressive combination. I topped both hands with Sally Hansen Diamond Flash.


I’m thinking this could be a new Mother’s Day tradition, because once a year is probably as often as I could handle someone else painting my nails…


Plié Believer


Although I happily crowdfunded Julep’s new Plié Wand, I was a bit skeptical about how well it would work. How could a longer, paintbrush-like handle make much of a difference when painting my nails? As Channing Tatum so succinctly said in 21 Jump Street – SCIENCE. I don’t know what type of brush Leonardo used when paining The Mona Lisa, but I’ll bet it wasn’t a 2 inch long one.

However it works, the Plié Wand WORKS. My close friends know what a slob I am when I paint my nails, but using the Plié, my nails were nearly camera ready after I painted them. This tool may change my life…

I felt a twinge of regret that I didn’t also get the striping and dotting tools, but realistically, I’m not the Pinterest-y, flowers type of person. I just want glitter and sparkle. I may pick it up at some point, but if I do – it will likely gather dust.

I started with 2 coats of Julep “Paulette” and added Julep “Yumi” on my shocker nails. My nails look FABULOUS.

On a sidenote, I actually started filling out the “Swatch Me” stickers on the tops of my Julep polishes. Until the Plié, I had no idea that the overcap comes off and I was scratching my head trying to figure out how to get the polish on the top of the brush lid. DUH.



Mardi Gross


This is not what I had in mind at all. Imagining the two polishes together, I thought my nails would look like the beach at high noon, the sun’s rays glinting off the sea foam, seashells glittering in the surf. I was dead wrong.

Instead, my nails look like Bourbon Street the day after Fat Tuesday – cheap beads floating in a river of vomit and piss. Mardi Gross.

To be fair, I only put down one coat of Julep “Kennedy” and I should have put down two. I totally misunderstood how Sinful Colors “Bombshell” would look. I should have swatched. ALWAYS swatch.

Excuse me while I go remove this crap and try something else…


Masked Ceremony


If I could have ANY job I wanted, I would be a Nail Polish Color Namer. I consider myself to be a fairly creative person, but the people who name Nail Polishes are on a totally different level.

This is Orly “Masked Ceremony”. The name reminds me of some twisted sex party with masks – like Eyes Wide Shut. This is the color of Nail Polish you put on when you are going to get screwed by a dude in a pig mask….not that I know anything about that. I totally DO NOT know anything about that.

It’s so hard to take pictures of dark nail polish – I had to go stand in the backyard. I kept flipping my hand around to try to pick up the fuchsia highlights, but they are barely visible. I wonder if my neighbors think I am a nutcase?



Is Ulta Addiction a Thing?


The DSM-5 needs to be updated to include the very first case of POCD – Polish Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I could make some psychiatrist’s whole career!

Ulta is a weekly thing with my BFF and I, but while in DFW for Texas Frightmare Weekend, we realized that our other friend had never stepped foot inside an Ulta. We had to remedy that immediately! (To be fair, I passed 2 Ultas while I was walking around in Downtown Chicago and I did NOT go in – most of my co-workers were dudes, so I controlled myself…)

While my BFF had her eye on stila concealer, I was content to browse the clearance aisle. The Irving Ulta has a kickass clearance section. I picked up 4 polishes…

Sally Hansen Gem Crush “Lady Luck” – fuchsia and silver holographic glitter – for 69 cents. I really LOVE Gem Crush and will own them all someday.

Orly “Purple Poodle” – fuchsia with a blue shimmer – for $4.99, and Orly “Masked Ceremony” – Steel with silver shimmer, fuchsia highlights and silver chunks – absolutely spectacular and $3.99. I’ve never tried Orly polish, so I’m intrigued.

Seche “All Lit Up” – fuchsia with gold shimmer – for $3.99. I’ve never tried Seche either.

So on top of saving approximately $18 on the clearance polishes, I also busted out a $3.50 coupon from my email. My total was $11 even. Now THAT made the OC in me REALLY happy!


Shit Nails


Sooo…I’m back at home and my nails look like absolute shit. Not only do my nails look shitty, but my hands are parched and the skin on my fingers is starting to flake. Too much handwashing in public bathrooms with cheap soap.

The “One Week” manicure looked great until Friday morning…when the middle fingernail on my right hand started peeling. I was in the middle of packing to leave town, so I left it and then patched it with more essie Luxeffects “Set in Stones” that evening. They looked tolerable enough, but by Saturday evening…I broke down and covered everything with a coat of Sally Hansen Gem Crush “LadyLuck”. I went to sleep happy…

…but today, the polish has worn off around the edges of all my nails – nothing wants to stick! I’m too damn tired from all my traveling to fix my nails the right way, so I’m just going to go to sleep and worry about them tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.


One Week


One week…this manicure has to last one week. So I chose the flashiest, yet longest lasting look from the past few months.

See, I have a business trip in Chicago, leaving tomorrow on a 5:55AM flight. I won’t be back until late Thursday night. Most paint jobs would last that long, except I turn around Friday morning and drive to Dallas for Texas Frightmare Weekend – our yearly girls’ trip. I may have time to paint my nails at the hotel, but then again, I may not feel like it…but I can easily touch up chips with more glitter. I’ll be back Sunday, but I may not feel like painting my nails then either….so…ONE WEEK. Can I handle that?

Whereas I used Artmatic “Dusty Rose” on the original, I used 2 coats of Julep “Jennifer” as a base. The difference is like the difference between buying “nude” pantyhose vs. “Suntan”. Or maybe Katy Perry in a rhinestone bodysuit vs. Britney Spears? The glitter is essie luxeffect “Set in Stones”. The TSA better not steal it out of my luggage…it’s THAT valuable.


Gymnast Nails

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Lily had her first Gymnastics Show today, so I decided to get all Pinterest-y and paint her nails to match her leotard. She usually paints her nails herself, so I was afraid that I would have to tie her to a chair to let me paint her nails. Turns out that all I had to do is bribe her with Hotel Transylvania and candy.

I put on one coat of Ulta “Fuchsiamania” and topped with China Glaze “It’s a Trap-eze”. They dried relatively quickly, so I didn’t have to get out the quick dry drops.

 “It’s a Trap-eze” has a milky white base. It’s really an odd formula, but I like how it muted the fuchsia to create a lighter pink. Even so, I don’t know how I feel about actually trying it on my own nails…

Oh…and despite what the picture shows, my daughter does have 5 fingers. I don’t know what the hell happened to her pinkie.