Tag: Funky Fingers
Ugly Christmas Sweater
Behold…the nail polish version of the Ugly Christmas Sweater.
My husband does NOT like this at AT ALL. All he would say is that it’s “not pretty” – which is just him being nice. It’s beautifully hideous if you ask me…
After Sinful Colors Base Coat, I used just a single coat of Sinful Colors “Sugar Sugar” and a thick, goopy coat of Funky Fingers “Fra-Gee-Lay”. Sally Hansen Diamond Flash smoothed down the goopy, stacked glitter. My husband said it felt like modeling clay after it dried – smooth, but rippled.
Isn’t that cupcake ornament cute? My mother-in-law gave it to me a few years ago. I just wanna lick it!
It’s a Major Award!
Like I said…I can’t go shopping without getting something for myself. Yesterday, I took Lily to Five Below to pick out Christmas presents for her brother and I couldn’t resist the A Christmas Story themed polishes from Funky Fingers.
The three polishes are “Red Ryder” – I need another red glitter like I need…I ALWAYS need more red glitter; “Double Dog Dare Ya” – blue and fuchsia glitter; and “Fra-Gee-Lay” – white, red and green glitter.
I really wanted some of the other movie themed polishes that they had – they have one called “Jawbreaker“ – but I decided to hold off until my next trip…
Let’s Build A Snowman!
…and NO, I am NOT referring to Frozen. I’m referring to that classic of college cinema – Cannibal! The Musical. In this movie, if you start singing about building a snowman…YOU DIE.
Julep “Kiki” looked so good that I decided to try out Funky Fingers “Olaf” on top of it. (Yes…THAT Olaf.) “Olaf” was yet another frustrating glitter. Those snowflakes were impossible to fish out of the bottle because of the narrow neck. I gave up after one snowflake per finger. The rest of the glitter was wonderful…but those fucking snowflakes…
I did 2 coats of “Olaf”, which I regretted as I was removing it just a few hours ago. I had to pry those fucking snowflakes off with my fingernails…
Slimer!
Sticking with the Ghostbusters theme, I had to do “glow in the dark” Slimer nails. (NO hot dog jokes…)
This is Funky Fingers “Oogie Boogie” – slimy lime green jelly with green and yellow hex and bar glitter. This is the most glowy “glow in the dark” polish I’ve found – even glowier than “Dia de Muertos”.
I used Revlon Quick Dry Base and Top Coat.
I’m getting better and better at taking pictures in the dark.
I took this one in my dark ass powder room, instead of my closet. I always end up stepping on shoes and knocking belts on the floor in my closet – the powder room is the way to go.
Cabana de Muertos
I wonder how suspicious we looked – my BFF and I – scurrying into the Taco Cabana Bathroom and giggling? I couldn’t help it – I was just so excited to turn the light off and show off my glow-in-the-dark nail polish!
This is Funky Fingers “Dia De Muertos”, from their Glow in the Dark Halloween collection. It’s a baby blue jelly base, with hot pink matte glitter in different sizes. There is
This is one of the bumpiest glitters I’ve ever used. Not only did I buff all of my nails first and use Orly Bonder, but I also topped with Sally Hansen Diamond Flash – and the two coats were still bumpy as all hell.
This stuff REALLY works – it glows like a sonofabitch.
I didn’t hold out much hope for getting a good “glowing in the dark” pic, but I was pleasantly surprised at the picture I was able to get inside of my closet. Of course, it doesn’t glow for very long, so I had to hold my hand up to the light, run into the closet, slam the door and try to get my camera to focus before the polish stopped glowing. So yeah, it took me 3 tries to get this pic.
Get ready for a spoooooky October. All month long, I’ll be doing Halloween-y or Fall themed nails. I don’t have all of my ideas worked out yet, so I am open to suggestions!
Unicorn Farts
Yes, Kenneth…unicorns fart glitter. What else would they fart?
I dug to the bottom of my plastic bin to find the perfect red to go underneath Funky Fingers “Unicorn Farts”. I dug out Sinful Colors “Under 18”, which I don’t think I’ve ever used before. It is a pearly tomato red and it went on smoothly without pooling in my cuticles. I did have to a bit of artful dabbing to get decent glitter coverage, but it wasn’t as bad as other beauty blogs had claimed. It certainly wasn’t as annoying as “Fruit-Ta-Ta”.
I used Orly Bonder as the base coat and Sally Hansen Diamond Flash for the top coat. (My Diamond Flash is almost empty! I don’t know whether I should buy another one or try another quick dry top coat. Probably both.) The texture of my nails is still a bit bumpy, but none of the glitter is lifting up, so I’m content.
I wanna try “Unicorn Farts” over a silver holographic polish – maybe Julep “Coretta”?
Halloween is Coming…
I didn’t mean to buy a bunch of Halloween stuff yesterday…but it kind of just happens sometimes.
Somehow, I scammed my husband into letting me run into Ulta before lunch, so I could grab some more Zoya Remove+. (I kind of freak out a little bit if I have less than half a bottle left, plus I didn’t know if the new ad would still have a $3.50 coupon.) After lunch, we all went to Five Below. In addition to Pink Flamingo Duck Tape, I couldn’t resist more Funky Fingers! I got 2 of the 2/$5 Halloween Glow in the Dark polishes: “Oogie Boogie” – iridescent yellow glitter in a neon green base – and “Dia De Muertos” – matte pink glitter in a baby blue base. I also got 3 of the regular 3/$5 Funky Fingers – “Unicorn Farts” – chunky metallic multicolored glitter, “Olaf” – white snowflake glitter – and “Elsa” – white and blue snowflake glitter. (Yes, I bought Frozen nail polish. Suck it.) Everybody got goodies. I got a SHENANIGANS T-shirt for my BFF. My husband got spiderwebs to decorate the house and a football. Logan got a gag gum snapper. Lily got a rubber chicken. Seriously…a rubber chicken. I can’t even explain why.
Five Below and Half Price Books were just too much fun for the family to handle, so while everyone else took naps, I went to Target to buy toilet paper and paper towels. Yeah, that was my plan when I went in there…
In addition to stocking up on John Frieda and Olay, I came across the new Halloween Beauty Books from e.l.f. ($6!) I picked up “Vampire” for my BFF, because the colors will be perfect for her Cruella DeVille costumes. I got “Wicked” for my Maleficent costume. I also grabbed bunch of plastic totes for my hair and face gunk – all of my tiny bottles where overtaking my husband’s side of the sink.
Of course, I got the new Caramel Apple Oreos. They’re just as weird as you would expect them to be. They did not have the Pumpkin Spice Oreos, which is probably all for the better…
Is That All There Is?
Caribongo “City Girl” was one of my vacay finds.
Indoors, it’s a perfectly average light blue glitter in a clear base. It’s rough and goopy and for some reason, it pulled away from the edges. Even sandwiched between Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat and Top Coat, the surface still had a pebbled feel.
I was surprised at how much polish it took to do two coats – I feel like I used a quarter of the bottle.
The first picture was taken immediately after stepping into the sunlight.
The second picture was after standing in FULL SUN for several minutes. Even though you can see that the polish base in the bottle turned bright red, the change is barely perceptible on my nails.
What the hell? Is that all there is?
This shit cost TWICE as much as Funky Fingers and doesn’t even work half as well.
Son of a bitch.
Cowabunga!
So I picked the cloudiest day in a month to try out another Funky Fingers solar polish…just my luck.
This is Funky Fingers “Cowabunga”. Indoors, it is bright ass hot pink. For a cheap polish, it went on like a dream. After the Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat, the first coat went down smoothly and almost gave full coverage. I went with a second coat and it was still smooth and even – no pooling in the edges! I used Ulta “Pinata Yada” on my party nails. I finished up with Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat for super shine.
The sun came out for a few minutes and I ran into the back yard and raised my clenched fist up to the sun. I ran back to the porch and took a picture as quickly as I could.
I was hoping for a deeper red, but it looks more like a pinkish tomato. “Cowabunga” is much less impressive than “Gnarly, Dude”, but it still changed. I MUST return to Five Below for more!
The Dude Abides…and Glitters…
This fingernail polish really pulls the room together…
Behold Funky Fingers “Gnarly, Dude”. It’s a solar polish that is supposed to change color in sunlight.
Indoors, “Gnarly, Dude” is a pink jelly with a veritable Hobby Lobby Bukkake of glitter. (I just want Hobby Lobby to be forever linked with “bukkake”, kinda like what happened with “Santorum”. Please don’t Google “bukkake”, Grandma.) There’s silver glitter, pink glitter, holographic hex glitter, black hex glitter – every kind of glitter, just globbed on my fingernails.
I suspected it was a specious claim, but “Gnarly, Dude” proved me wrong – it did EXACTLY what it was supposed to! Sunlight turned the pink jelly dark purple – almost black. In fact, this picture was taken after cloudy sun. I went outside at high noon full sun and my nails were very nearly black.
I used Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat in case of staining. I covered with a thick coat of Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat, but it still didn’t smooth the curling edges of the hex glitter. If you like smooth nails, this is not the polish for you.
This is a great summer polish, but the hex glitters do peel off easily, leaving blank spots. Luckily, it mends easily with a little dab from the brush.