Tag: Julep
The Rusty Trombone
Behold…THE RUSTY TROMBONE.
If you don’t know what a Rusty Trombone is, I am not going to be the one to tell you. Go ask your kid or something, you old fuddy duddy.
There are many layers to this manicure. The first layer is Sally Hansen Nail Prisms in “Amber Ruby.” It was the closest thing to rust that I had. The second coat is Julep “Glenda” – a creamy silver crackle. Since trombones are usually made of brass, I used Milani 3D Holographic “510” as the third layer. (WTF Milani?)
After 3 coats, my nails were super gooey, so I topped with a coat of Sally Hansen “Diamond Flash Quick Drying Topcoat.” It’s been over 5 hours and I don’t feel like the polish has cured. Hmmm…this rusty trombone might not last long…
Rita Royale
I couldn’t decide which new filthy experiment to do with my nails last night, so I decided to be lazy and try out one of my new Julep polishes – “Rita Royale.”
Doesn’t “Rita Royale” sound like a used up 70s porn star?
I was excited to see how well the polish matched my car – SQUEE!
Everybody Wins
Another day, another surprise in my mailbox.’
I tried to resist, but I only made it about 3 days until I decided that I had to buy $25 of Julep goodies to get their Oscar “Gift with Purchase.” The set was called “Everybody Wins” and comes with a gold sequined clutch (lined with leopard!) and 2 polishes. There were actually 2 sets – both come with “Oscar”gold glitter, but “Holly Would” comes with a holly green frost and “Rita Royale” comes with royal blackcurrant shimmer. (Whatever, it’s fucking fuchshia.)
To get these goodies, I purchased “Party’s Over”, a special glitter polish removal system. Basically little caps that hold a remover pad of the finger. I also got “Glenda” – a- silver crackle topcoat. I know crackle is so 2012, but I wanted it…
My total – $25.39. Like a boss.
I’m a Bad Influence
As she was painting my toenails, my daughter Lily told me that she “wants to be a fingernail painter when she grows up.” Sigh. Way to aim high. To be fair, I’m fairly certain that she thinks that my job is being a fingernail painter. That’s pretty much all I do these days.
But before she painted my toes, Lily painted her own toenails and fingernails.
She picked out Julep “Kristy” and “Lindy” for her toes.
She picked out Julep “Libby” and “Geo” for her fingernails.
She has picked that combination before – she really likes turquoise-y fingernails.
That girl knows what she wants.
I hope she gives me a discount when she is a famous fingernail painter.
Grenade
My son was having a sleepover for his birthday last night, so I threw myself on the grenade of trying to keep Lily out of their hair all evening. I decided on a Mani/Pedi Party in my bedroom. She did her nails…and then started looking at me.
Not only did I let her pick the polishes…I let her paint my toenails, too. She chose Julep “Joanna” and “Rosa” – Amethyst for February. Good job, Lily!
She did a pretty decent job for a 5 year old. To be fair, I did scrape off most of the extra in the shower this morning – there was half an inch or so extra around the edges of my toenails…but those who know me, know that they look like that when I paint them, too.
The Shocker Mani
I think I’ve found my signature “look.”
It’s called the “Shocker” Mani.
Why is it called the “Shocker” Mani?
THIS is why.
I used Julep “Coco” and “Nan” on the bottom coat and Julep “Jane” on top.
Now I can flash the “Shocker” everywhere…at home, at work, at school functions, at the grocery store…
Beatrix was a Bitch
It seriously took me nearly an hour and a half to get “Beatrix” off my nails.
Julep glitter is some serious shit. Zoya polish remover is the best I’ve used…and it still took forever.
Never fear, I ordered Julep’s glitter remover – It’s aptly named “Party’s Over”….but it won’t be here for another week.
Inside a Hoarder’s Purse
So I switched purses the other day…I didn’t quite realize the extent of the lipgloss hoarding situation that was going on inside of my purse…they were all stashed in a zipper pocket on the front of my old purse, but my new purse didn’t have the same pocket…what do I do?
WHAT DO I DO?
Surprisingly, I couldn’t find a makeup bag at home that would work – they were all either too big or too small. (My mom was addicted to Clinique and Estee Lauder “Gift with Purchase” – but she would end up giving half of the shit to my sister and I.) Then I remembered a mini Estee Lauder bag that I had stashed at work. I had been using it as an emergency vaginal care kit, but hey – what’s more important? Lipgloss or panty liners?
I was planning on listing the names of all the lipglosses in my purse, but the names wore off long ago. Boo. Most are Liplicious from Bath & Body Works, so just use your imagination and think of a name yourself.
Too Short
I did that thing.
You know…that thing where you cut one of your fingernails too short, then you trim the rest to match and then another one is too short, so you trim again…Eventually, all of your nails are 3 millimeters long and they look ridiculous in the sexy glitter polish that’s supposed to make you look like a porn star.
Yup, that’s what I did last night.
Even so, I think Julep “Beatrix” makes my fingers sexy. Don’t they look like they should be wrapped around a banana or a corndog or something?
Lindy
I loved my “Betty”, but I had enough microscopic chips to rationalize redoing my nails after 3 days.
With 6 new polishes in the past week, it was a hard choice…but I settled on “Lindy” from my Cupid Mystery Box. I’m not usually the sheer pink type. “Lindy” is an interesting polish. It’s sheer pink, but instead of regular glitter, there’s bigger pieces of sheer iridescent material. The matte finish looks faceted, but is smooth to the touch. This was also one of the quickest drying Julep polishes I’ve used – I didn’t even need to use the Quick Dry Drops.
The finish was so subtle, I actually had to step onto my back porch to get a picture in natural lighting.
I like “Lindy”, but I don’t love “Lindy.” I predict a redo tomorrow.