Category: Body

 
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SpongeBob Ulta Haul

I know it’s dumb…but I am a SUCKER for collections in PR Boxes. Half the time, I don’t even use half of the items in the collection, except for an initial swatch. I expect that to be true of the Wet n Wild SpongeBob Squarepants PR Box ($75). I was a bit disappointed in the outside box itself – I was expecting sturdier carboard – so it will probably end up in the bin. Inside the PR Box: Underwater Wonder Liquid Blush in “Rock Star” (it’s VERY pink, but flattering on me); Double The F.U.N. 2-in-1 Liquid Eyeliner & Stamp (OMG, the stamp is in the shape of the background flowers in the cartoon – like a rickie tickie stickie – and coincidentally the same shape and size as the tattoo I gave myself in high school that I lost in my reconstructive surgery…BREATHE); Splash On Waterproof Mascara in “Deep Dive” (I won’t be using this – will probably end up with Caty); Bikini Bottom Cooling Lip Oil in “Thar She Blows”; Bikini Bottom Cooling Lip Oil in “I’m Ready”; Bikini Bottom Cooling Lip Oil in “I Wumbo, You Wumbo”; F.U.N. Eye & Face Palette (I’ve used this and I admit – blue eyeshadow is not my friend); Always Looking Up Mirror & Keychain Set; Squidward Makeup Sponge (Besides the eye stamper, this is the other thing I wanted most); Serving Up Smiles Eyelash Curler – SpongeBob; Kelp Shake Dual Phase Dewy Setting Mist (another giveaway); and SpongeBob SquarePants Face & Body Gems (I threatened my daughter to wear these to the Stray Kids concert – I did NOT call her bluff). I am NOT disappointed with my purchase.

I was looking for Tree Hut “Tangerine” Body Spray to match my Tangerine mood, but they don’t make it. I had to settle for Tree Hut Serum-Infused Hand Wash in “Tangerine” ($6.99). It’s a bit pricy, but I find solace in the fact that this bottle is 11oz versus Bath & Body Works 8.75oz bottles.

Since Lily actually needed the serum and not the moisturizer I got last time, I got her Peach Slices Snail Rescue Intensive Serum ($17.99) and Peach Slices Snail Rescue Blemish Busting Toner ($13.99). Since she isn’t interested in makeup, the least I can do is provide her with decent skincare. Oh, and I also switched her over to the shaving oil I like. I let her try mine and she liked it, so I got her Tree Hut Moisturizing Shave Oil in “Electric Beach” ($10.99).

There was also a birthday gift in this order (not pictured, of course), which pushed me over the threshold for THREE gifts with purchase. The free gift with $75 purchase was not that impressive. It included Shiseido Ultimate Sun Protector Lotion SPF 60 (I take it back – I needed this badly); NOYZ “Detour”; Proactiv Green Tea Moisturizer (this stuff is still around?); NYX Duck Plump in “Clearly Spicy” (my third sample); and Anastasia Beverly Hills Lash Sculpt Mascara.

The Platinum & Diamond Exclusive Step Up 14 Piece Gift with $90 purchase was more impressive: megababe Blade Bar (YES, another one!); Tiffany & Co. “Tiffany & Love for Him” (this smells good enough that I passed it over to my husband to try out); Yves Saint Laurent “Black Opium”; Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Setting Spray; Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Eye Supercharged Gel-Creme; Dermalogica Dynamic Skin Recovery SPF 50; TheraBreath Deep Clean Oral Rinse; Cetaphil Hydrating Foaming Cream Cleanser; COSRX Low pH Good Morning Gel Cleanser; Clinique Acne Solutions Clinical Clearing Gel (for the girl child); smashbox Photo Finish Primerizer+; Good Molecules Niacinamide Brightening Toner; Vanicream Gentle Facial Cleanser; and Natasha Denona Golden Palette Eyeshadow in “Oro” (it’s a bit crushed, so I am scared to open it).

I managed to fill my cart to just over $185 to get the Diamond Exclusive 36 piece beauty bag. I usually don’t luck into these, but I was getting a pedicure and was feeling bougie. In addition to the clear orange makeup bag, it included Jean Paul Gaultier “Le Male Elixir Absolu” (not bad, but since my FiL wears Le Male…I’ll pass); Shiseido Benefiance Wrinkle Smoothing Eye Cream; Kylie Cosmetics Matte Liquid Lisptick Card Sample in “Koko K”; Prada “Paradoxe”; COSRX Master Patch Intensive (an 18 pack – that’s $5 worth); Boots No7 Lift & Luminate Triple Action Serum; Milk Makeup Hydro Grip Gel Tint Sample Card; bareMinerals BarePro 24HR Wear Skin Perfecting Matte Liquid Foundation Sample Card; tarte Shape Tape Contour Concealer Sample Card; Charlotte Tilbury Beautiful Skin Foundation Sample Card; Drunk Elephant C-Luma Hydrabright Serum; Camille Rose Moroccan Pear Conditioning Custard; Lancome UV Expert Supra Screen Invisible Sunscreen Serum; Sol de Janeiro Bom Dia Bright Cream (just a packet instead of a pot, but I’ll use it); Ralph Lauren “Polo”; Valentino “Uomo Born in Roma”; Valentino “Donna Born in Roma Extradose”; Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb; Burberry “Goddess”; Kate Somerville ExfoliKate; Clinique Moisture Surge Body Hydrator; Paco Rabanne “Invictus Victory Elixir”; Givenchy “Irresistible”; belif The True Cream – Aqua Bomb; Method Island Mist Body Wash; COSRX The 6 Peptide Skin Booster Serum; e.l.f. Thirst Burst Drops; Dior “Miss Dior”; Sunday Riley Luna Sleeping Night Oil; Round Lab Birch Juice Moisturizing UVlock SPF 45; Dolce & Gabbana “Light Blue”; Starface Hydro-Star Patches; Indie Lee Brightening Cleanser; Lanolips 101 Ointment; Earth Harbor Naturals Siren Silk Multi-Tasking Hydration Cream; Drunk Elephant Mello Marula Cream Cleanser; Marc Jacobs “Perfect”; NYX Blur Screen 30 Primer; Good Molecules Hyaluronic Acid Serum; CeraVe Ultra-Light Moisturizing Lotion; Carolina Herrera “Good Girl” (I think this is the stripper perfume); NYX The Face Glue Gripping Primer; Mugler “Alien” (Nooooooo); Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream; NYX Face Freezie Cooling Primer; DHC Super Collagen Cream; and DIME Luminosity Eye Serum. Phew, my fingers and eyes are tired!

I used a $20 off coupon and $17.50 in Ulta points on this order. I wish my coupon had been 20% off instead of $20 off $100…but I DO have an actual 20% coupon that is valid for the next 10 days…what should I fill my cart with?

Ohhhhhhh, we’re (almost) halfway there….$604 to Diamond in 2026, living on a prayer…

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Tangerine Ulta Haul

She don’t use nothing that you buy at the store, she likes her legs to smell real orange, she uses TANGERINES…

I cannot help it, that song has been stuck in my head for DAYS. I’ve been happy with my Moroccan Rose Shave Oil, but I decided to switch it up and try Tree Hut Moisturizing Shave Oil in “Tangerine” ($10.99). I didn’t stop there – I also got Tree Hut Foaming Gel Body Wash in “Tangerine” ($9.99) and Tree Hut Tangerine Moisturizing Body Lotion ($11.49) to match. My dumb ass didn’t even wait for them to go on sale. I don’t care, I smell so good…

While I was shopping, I got a few more things for me: J. Cat Beauty Lemon-Aid Makeup Brush Soap ($2.99); Sol de Janeiro Rio Deo Aluminum-Free Refillable Deodorant Cheirosa ’62 ($16); and Nads Natural Facial Wax Strips ($5.99 – mustaches are so OUT this year).

Peach Slices was on sale, so I grabbed Lily a Peach Slices Oil Control Balancing Cleanser ($10.49, down from $14.99). She is all about Korean Skin Care right now.

In addition to a $10 off coupon, I got a Free Diamond & Platinum Exclusive 8 Piece Gift with $65 shipped purchase: Kitsch Rice Water Protein Solid Shampoo and Solid Conditioner (I’ve been curious about these!); megababe Blade Bar (ok, I love the one I have, so this saved me $8 from buying a new one); Milani Keep It Full Plumping Balm; Ralph Lauren Polo; Thayers Blemish Clearing 2% BHA Toner; Indie Lee Brightening Cleanser; Peach & Lily Super Oasis Concentrated Serum; and Charlotte Tilbury K.I.S.S.I.N.G. Lipstick in “Fallen from the Lipstick Tree” (what kind of stupid name is that?). Except for the lipstick and cologne, this is a smashing set of samples.

Just $662 more until Diamond in 2026.

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Fallible Ulta Haul

Ugh. Not only did I lose my favorite powder foundation somewhere between my house and San Francisco earlier this month…but when I finally ordered a replacement of my L’Oreal Infallible 24H Fresh Wear Foundation In A Powder in “20 Ivory” ($16.99), it arrived absolutely SHATTERED. These things happen and Ulta’s Customer Service Chat Agent made it right immediately. 10/10 service and I received a replacement within a few days.

I added a few new polishes to my cart – Holo Taco “Blue Rizzler” ($14) and Holo Taco “Garden Party Taco” ($13) – and they happened to be in the bubble wrap with the powder and got a bit dusty. No damage to my Thayers Alcohol-Free Witch Hazel Facial Toner in “Rose Petal” ($10.95).

I qualified for a free Wellness Sampler with my $50 purchase (even though I used a $10 off coupon). Inside the Wellness Sampler: Sol de Janeiro Beija Flor Elasti-Cream (I don’t care that I just got one of these – I love the scent); lemme Debloat Daily Digestive Gummies (Not the kind of gummies I usually take, but I’ll give them a whirl); The Good Patch Rescue Patch (it appears to be for a hangover – I’ll try next time I go to Cali); Tan-Luxe Super Glow Hyaluronic Self-Tan Serum (NOPE.); Cetaphil Daily Oil-Free Facial Moisturizer SPF 35; Tula Skincare 24-7 moisture hydrating day & night cream (love this brand); Sunday Riley Good Genes; philosophy amazing grace hydrating shower gel; and dermalogica Skin Smoothing Cream. This is a bad ass sample bag with only one dud!

$707 to Diamond in 2026.

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Disco Bum Bum Haul

Don’t come at me for spending $64 on sunscreen, just because you know I never go outside anyway…for those few occasions I do step into the sunlight, I want to be assured that I don’t burst into flames AND smell good, so I decided to try out Sol de Janeiro Rio Radiance SPF 50 Body Spray ($32). and I thought my Lala would like it, too. I’ll let you know how it goes the next time I get to visit the farm.

Tell me why I paid $2.49 (down from $4.99) for essence My Heart Beats Disco Glitter Switch Liquid Lipstick? Because it’s a better formula than Urban Decay’s Vice Liquid Lipstick “Trap Queen” ($18) which was basically the same concept?

It was free Ulta gift with purchase time, so I got another Ulta Ultra Slim Brow Pencil in “Dark Brown” ($11) and Ulta Weightless Water Lip Stain in “Sangria Splash” ($11 – I think this is the only color I didn’t have already) to meet the $19.50 threshold. I chose the coral flowered bag, which contained an Eye Shadow Palette; Matte Lip Cream; Shiny Sheer Lip Gloss; Inner Glow Eye Primer; Soft Glow Poreless Face Primer; New Heights Mascara; an Eye Shadow Brush and Makeup Sponge. I kind of hate that they don’t put the lippie color anywhere on these packages – what if I wanted a buy a full size?

There were a lot of other freebies when I placed this order, too. I got a free Sol de Janeiro Bum Bum Cream with the $40 purchase above. I got a free 13 Piece Clean Ingredient Sampler with $85 shipped purchase, which came with Sol de Janeiro Beija Flor Elasti-Cream (cannot really smell it until I fully recover from the ‘rona); Good Molecules Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel; Manyo Pure & Deep Cleansing Foam; belif The True Cream; Peach Slices Snail Rescue Intensive Wash-Off Jelly Mask (I’ll save for Lily, since she uses this brand); NOYZ Sh**ty Day; Peach & Lily Retinal For All Renewing Serum (keeping for myself); Living proof. Perfect hair Day high-shine gloss; Vanicream Gentle Face Cleanser; Drunk Elephant Lala Retro Whipped Cream; Briogeo Farewell Frizz; Innersense Sweet Spirit Leave In Conditioner; and Drunk Elephant T.L.C. Framboos Glycolic Night Serum. I also got a free mystery gift with…I have no idea what I bought that gave me this. The mystery gift mostly dumb card samples: tarte Creaseless Creamy Concealer; Clinique Moisture Surge Active Glow Serum; Milk Makeup Hydro Grip Gel Tint; Ilia Barrier Build Skin Protectant Cream; Yves Saint Laurent Y; Tiffany & Co. Rose Gold (I actually have the full size, so I ain’t mad); and NYX The Face Glue Gripping Primer.

Since I splurged, I used the remaining $53 in Ulta points I had built up, as well as a $3.50 off $15 coupon, so I got all this for about $32.

Around $710 to Diamond in 2026…can I do this?

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Bling Bling Black Honey Ulta Haul

Why yes, that is a super blinged out Clinique Limited Edition Almost Lipstick in “Black Honey”. It was 50% off ($15.50) in this month’s Diamond Love List and my last one was down to a stub, so I JUMPED on it. That was the only thing that I wanted this month…but then I found some other things…

I was in the mood for more bougie bath stuff, so I decided to try out Sol de Janeiro Bom Dia Bright Clarifying AHA BHA Body Wash ($26). It has a little salicylic acid, along with the all the other good stuff and it will help clear up my summer bacne. I sprung for the Sol de Janeiro Limited Edition Perfume Mist Discovery Set ($34), which was kinda dumb in retrospect. I already had 62 and 48. I wanted the 40 to match the body wash, but it isn’t as good as the body wash and 87 is weird, too. Sigh. I guess I cannot be too mad, because I used $50 in Ulta points.

My daughter is into dry shampoo and MONDAY Haircare Brunette Dry Shampoo ($7.99) is cheaper than Batiste or Not Your Mother’s, so I wanted her to try it. I also needed more Unbound Jelly ($18) for…stuff.

In addition to using $50 in Ulta points and a $3.50 off $15 coupon, I got two gifts with purchase! I got Platinum & Diamond Exclusive Free 17 Piece Gift with $85 purchase, which included Good Molecules Pimple Patches (giving to Lily); Redken Control Hairspray; Polite Society Greatest Lashes of All Time Mascara; NOYZ 12:00 eau de parfum; CHI Infra Silk Infusion; Kenra Moisture Shampoo & Conditioner; Eau Thermale Avene Cicalfate Serum; Olaplex No. 4 Shampoo and No. 5 Conditioner (YASSSS); Dolce & Gabbana Devotion; philosophy dose of wisdom dark circle brightening cream; Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair; Stila Liquid Lipstick in “Mute”; Lolavie Glossing Detangler (saving for my Barbies); Drunk Elephant B-Hydra Intensive Hydration Serum; and pixi Glow Tonic (I have so much of this). I also qualified for a Diamond Member Exclusive! Free 11 Piece Sampler with $100 purchase, that included St. Moritz Tanning Mousse (giving away); le mini macaron Nail Cleanser Pads (pretty sure they are just alcohol wipes); Half Magic Face Gems (hello Gwen Stefani in the late 90s); Olaplex No. 6 Bond Smoother (trifecta!); megababe The Geo Deo (going in my travel bag); Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair; COSRX The 6 Peptide Skin Booster Serum; Living proof. restore conditioner (but no fucking shampoo?); philosophy dose of wisdom bouncy skin reactivating serum; r.e.m. beauty On Your Collar Classic Lipstick in “Lingerie”; and it Cosmetics Hello Results Wrinkle Reducing Daily Retinol Serum-in-a-Cream. WoW! My skin is excited.

Just $762 to Diamond in 2026.

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Butt Stuff Ulta Haul

How can I NOT buy a product called Butt Stuff?

Look, I’m 49 years old and have birthed two children. I don’t need to draw a diagram of how that fucks up your body, especially the no-no square. I have not yet had a flare-up, so I haven’t gotten to use megababe Butt Stuff Hemorrhoid Cream ($22.40, down from $28) yet. You will be the FIRST to know how it goes…

In addition to restocking on Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Joia Strengthening + Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner ($26 each), I added a few fun things to my cart. I’ve never read a single page or watched a single frame of Twilight, but I got a Twilight: New Moon x Colourpop Multichrome Shadow Stix in “It’s Always Been Him” ($12) because the color was extra pretty. I tried it and I like it – but it is a whole lotta green for my face. I also picked up Holo Taco “Milky White Shimmer” ($14) because why not?

All this was enough for a free 13 piece beauty bag with my $90 purchase. In addition to the canvas drawstring beauty bag, I got Oak Essentials Moisture Rich Balm (in a weird burlap bag?); Pureology Strength Cure Shampoo and Conditioner (I love a matching set); Gaultier Divine; Caroline Herrera Very Good Girl; NYX Face Freezie Cooling Primer; Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb Tiger Lily; Clinique Moisture Surge Active Glow Serum; Mugler Alien Goddess (ugh, why do I get this in every fucking bag?); Paco Rabanne Invictus Victory Elixir; Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium; Good Molecules Hydrating Facial Cleansing Gel; and Dionis Goat Milk Hand Cream in “Vanilla Bean”. I really appreciate that the bag wasn’t one of the 13 items. I could’ve done with less perfume samples, but the rest of the samples are top shelf.

Just $814 until I reach Platinum for 2026.

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An Itty Bitty Birthday Haul

I couldn’t bear to let my $10 off Birthday coupon expire at Ulta, so I filled my cart with random items…

I’ve been wanting to try the megababe Blade Bar ($8) and I tried it out over the weekend. It’s basically a bar of soap that you can use to shave your legs…I’ve done it before with regular soap (when I was poor and/or desperate), but this bar is so much better…it’s mainly shea butter and it made my legs feel super moisturized. I didn’t knick myself either – win win.

Of course, I snagged a back-up Ulta Ultra Slim Brow Pencil in “Dark Brown” ($11), but I also came across a NEW brow product…Ulta Longwear Brow Stain in “Dark Brown” ($11). All I have to say about this product is WOW. It is LIFE CHANGING. It takes a lot of confidence to use, but once I figured it out – this stuff stays on and does NOT come off unless you scrub it off…and it looks like natural eyebrows! Remember when I got the eyebrow stamping kit? That one was a miss for me, but this little baby is my new holy grail….

What else did I pick up…hmmm…a replacement Garnier SkinActive Micellar Cleansing Water with Rose Water ($11.99)…Holo Taco “Red Licorice” ($14)…and another lip stain marker – Ulta Magic Marker Lip Stain in “Raspberry Kiss” ($10 – the perfect color for me).

Oh, and did I mention 6 piece Makeup Gift with my $60 purchase? It included a Real Techniques Makeupsaver Sponge (ooooh….absorbs 90% less makeup); stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner; Lancome Idole Lash Mascara; Benefit The POREfessional; Estee Lauder Double Wear Smooth & Blur Primer; and another NYX Duck Plump “Clearly Spicy”.

Just $910 to Diamond in 2026…

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February 2025 Ipsy Icon Box – Gabrielle Union

Leave it to Gabrielle Union to come up with an ipsy Icon Box that I’ll actually try ALL of the products, instead of giving half of them away!

After several quarters of reality show stars and “influencers”, ipsy has nabbed an actually CERTIFIED movie star in Gabrielle Union. Homegirl is four years older than me and she looks as amazing as she did in the 90s. How even?

As soon as I saw it was an option, I SNATCHED the Anastasia Beverly Hills Nouveau Eyeshadow Palette ($55). Believe me when I say this palette might be as good as the OG – Modern Renaissance. (My eyes popped when I saw the price increase in just 8 years – from $42 to $55.) Nouveau has a full range of shades – classic neutrals to sparkling metallics to moody darks. I’ve only played with it once or twice, but I cannot wait to have an opportunity to go all out that isn’t a grocery store trip.

My other product choices were Origins Clear Improvement Blackhead Clearing Mask-To-Scrub ($37) and Dew of the Gods Amalfi Glaze Body Serum ($36). I did not read the label (AGAIN) on the Origins Mask and used it as a scrub in the shower the first time – oopsie. I used it as a mask the next time and I really liked it – it sucked the oil out of my pores like a fucking SHAMWOW. The Amalfi Body Serum smelled nice, but it made me sparkle like a stripper. I’ll save it for a special occasion.

Gabrielle’s picks included Beautystat Triple- Plump Coconut Milk Serum ($42); Byroe Oat Yogurt Moisture Barrier Cream ($106 – I’ve been using it as a night cream and it is SO luxurious…wish it wasn’t so spendy); First Aid Beauty KP Bump Eraser Body Scrub 10% AHA Fresh Strawberry ($30 – I love this for my bikini line…I’ll rotate it into my shower after I finish the Fenty Skin Cherry Dub Scrub); Make Up For Ever The Professionall 24HR Double-Ended Lifting & Volumizing Mascara in “Black” ($28 – I love the double brush design that lifts and thickens); and NARS Powermatte Lipstick in “American Woman” ($34 – although I love the Lolita-esque Chestnut Rose color, it’s a lipstick and didn’t last through a Taco Bell run).

This might be the best Icon Box I’ve received so far! $368 worth of products for less than $75…

I subscribe to the basic ipsy bag for $14/month (recently increased from $13/month) and Icon Box (formerly Glam Bag X) for an extra $60/quarterly (recently increased from $43/quarterly). If you’d like to try Ipsy –  click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my referral link.

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January 2025 Ipsy Bag – A Clean Slate

A brief hiatus was just what I needed…

This month’s theme is “A Clean Slate” and included a different kind of makeup bag than usual. It doesn’t zip – it has a magnetic snap. It wouldn’t work inside my purse, but I’m sure I can find a use for it…

My product choice this month was Dr. Lili Fan Probiotic Recovery Cream. I am in LOVE with this face cream – and not just because I just got crispy-crittered in Cozumel. In my mind, it is that luxurious “Pearl Cream” from the 90s commercials…(I have no idea what the original “pearl cream” was like, I’m just talking shit.)

I’ve been using the Pamper + Polish Sugar and Coconut Infused Body Scrub (damn, the sugar is sharp), but I haven’t tried the other three products. I’ll probably get around to using the Glow Recipe Plum Plump Hyaluronic Acid Lip Gloss Balm, but I won’t ever use the Seraphine Botanicals Mimosa Mist Glass Skin Setting Spray. I might *possibly* use the Illuminati Cosmetics Multi-Chrome Gel Eyeliner in “Prime” – not sure.

Not a horrible bag, but not a lot of product types that I use…it’s been a bit since I’ve updated my ipsy preferences, so maybe I should do it.

I subscribe to the basic ipsy bag for $14/month (recently increased from $13/month) and Icon Box (formerly Glam Bag X) for an extra $60/quarterly (recently increased from $43/quarterly). If you’d like to try Ipsy –  click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my referral link.

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First Ulta Haul of 2025

…and I was ready to shop…because I placed this order on January 2nd!

Select skincare was BOGO 40% off, so I decided to try Thayers Soak It Up 80HR Liquid Moisturizer for Normal to Dry Skin ($14.99) when I got my Thayers Witch Hazel ($6.57 after discount). I also got a free Travel Size Thayers Witch Hazel. I had been wanting to try megababe The Smoothie Deo Fruit Enzyme Daily Deodorant ($9.80 after discount) and was happy to see it was also 30% off.

Ulta came out with their own marker lip stain – Ulta Magic Marker Lip Stain ($10) – so I picked up “Purple Fizz” at 30% off. It goes on like a magic marker, too! It lasts decently through food – highly recommend, although this color was REALLY dark on my pasty skin…I might have looked a bit like the joker. On the other hand, I do NOT recommend Revolution Beauty Pout Tint ($4, down from $8). It’s just lip gloss that gets all over anything – it doesn’t tint or stain at all!

It was a rather small order – around $33 after using a $10 off $40 code and benefiting from free shipping on all orders placed on an Ulta Credit Card. Just $1,119 to Diamond in 2026 (my son and his girlfriend have been using my phone number at Ulta – score).