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Disco Bum Bum Haul

Don’t come at me for spending $64 on sunscreen, just because you know I never go outside anyway…for those few occasions I do step into the sunlight, I want to be assured that I don’t burst into flames AND smell good, so I decided to try out Sol de Janeiro Rio Radiance SPF 50 Body Spray ($32). and I thought my Lala would like it, too. I’ll let you know how it goes the next time I get to visit the farm.

Tell me why I paid $2.49 (down from $4.99) for essence My Heart Beats Disco Glitter Switch Liquid Lipstick? Because it’s a better formula than Urban Decay’s Vice Liquid Lipstick “Trap Queen” ($18) which was basically the same concept?

It was free Ulta gift with purchase time, so I got another Ulta Ultra Slim Brow Pencil in “Dark Brown” ($11) and Ulta Weightless Water Lip Stain in “Sangria Splash” ($11 – I think this is the only color I didn’t have already) to meet the $19.50 threshold. I chose the coral flowered bag, which contained an Eye Shadow Palette; Matte Lip Cream; Shiny Sheer Lip Gloss; Inner Glow Eye Primer; Soft Glow Poreless Face Primer; New Heights Mascara; an Eye Shadow Brush and Makeup Sponge. I kind of hate that they don’t put the lippie color anywhere on these packages – what if I wanted a buy a full size?

There were a lot of other freebies when I placed this order, too. I got a free Sol de Janeiro Bum Bum Cream with the $40 purchase above. I got a free 13 Piece Clean Ingredient Sampler with $85 shipped purchase, which came with Sol de Janeiro Beija Flor Elasti-Cream (cannot really smell it until I fully recover from the ‘rona); Good Molecules Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel; Manyo Pure & Deep Cleansing Foam; belif The True Cream; Peach Slices Snail Rescue Intensive Wash-Off Jelly Mask (I’ll save for Lily, since she uses this brand); NOYZ Sh**ty Day; Peach & Lily Retinal For All Renewing Serum (keeping for myself); Living proof. Perfect hair Day high-shine gloss; Vanicream Gentle Face Cleanser; Drunk Elephant Lala Retro Whipped Cream; Briogeo Farewell Frizz; Innersense Sweet Spirit Leave In Conditioner; and Drunk Elephant T.L.C. Framboos Glycolic Night Serum. I also got a free mystery gift with…I have no idea what I bought that gave me this. The mystery gift mostly dumb card samples: tarte Creaseless Creamy Concealer; Clinique Moisture Surge Active Glow Serum; Milk Makeup Hydro Grip Gel Tint; Ilia Barrier Build Skin Protectant Cream; Yves Saint Laurent Y; Tiffany & Co. Rose Gold (I actually have the full size, so I ain’t mad); and NYX The Face Glue Gripping Primer.

Since I splurged, I used the remaining $53 in Ulta points I had built up, as well as a $3.50 off $15 coupon, so I got all this for about $32.

Around $710 to Diamond in 2026…can I do this?

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Crazy Plant Lady

I honed a lot of skills during the lockdowns, but one of my proudest accomplishments was turning my black thumb into a green one. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but at least I can now keep ivy and succulents alive. I learned enough to be able to proudly wear this nail polish though – Paint It Pretty Polish “Crazy Plant Lady”.

“Crazy Plant Lady” is from March’s Under the Microscope Polish Pickup and it’s another MAGNETIC polish. It’s inspired by plant cells under the microscope and I feel like I’ve seen plant cells under a microscope before…but that was like 40 years ago, so I’m just gonna agree. This is also my first Paint It Pretty and it was a nice formula and easy to use. I used the exact same method as “Secret Allure” and I love the velvetized french manicure look.

This is two coats of “Crazy Plant Lady”, magnetized with a round rare earth magnet using DRK Nails Magic Effect and over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Tropical Oasis” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Blackberry Passionfruit“.

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Laura’s Blue Rose

I was in Atlantic City recently and I had packed my vial of “Blue Rose” and was horrified that it was empty! Imagine me, in a dark hotel room at Caesar’s Palace, placing an emergency order from The Great Northern Candle Company, on my phone in the dark, trying not to disturb my husband…

All I ordered was a 1.7oz “Blue Rose” eau de toilette ($38) and 1.7oz “Laura” eau de toilette ($38), as well as a 2ml sample vial of “Isn’t it Too Dreamy?” ($9). The folks at the GNCC were so generous that my box was full of freebies! I got a “Josie” perfume, a “Cooper” wax melt (which is scenting my bathroom right now), and a “Rose City” Candle.

And did I forget to mention that a surprise event was going on and I used a 20% off code?

This order definitely took me straight to the White Lodge.

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April 2025 Ipsy Bag – Spring Into Self-Care

Where did April go? I haven’t touched a single sample from this month’s “Spring Into Self-Care” bag…

My product choice this month was NIP + FAB Vitamin C Fix Hybrid Gel Cream 5%. I don’t remember what the other choices were, but I guess this was the best one? I have been super into face care lately, so it was probably more lip liners or plumpers. Nope.

My other products this month were Benefit The POREfessional Deep Retreat Pore-Clearing Clay Mask (oh yes, I am HERE for clay masks); blinc UltraVolume TUBING Mascara Mini in “Black” (but the tubes always drop off and land on my cheeks?); Kiramoon Silkie Rinse Gentle Hydrating Cleanser (popping in my bag for my flight tomorrow); and KVOSSNYC Lip Trip Lip Liner in “Soho” (giving away).

Not a horrible bag this month, but I think I need to change my profile to stop sending me so much mascara?

I subscribe to the basic ipsy bag for $14/month (recently increased from $13/month) and Icon Box (formerly Glam Bag X) for an extra $60/quarterly (recently increased from $43/quarterly). If you’d like to try Ipsy –  click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my referral link.

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Milky White Shimmer

Well…this polish certainly IS a milky white shimmer.

At first glance, Holo Taco “Milky White Shimmer” looks like a boring white nail polish…but if you squint, you can see a TINY bit of silver shimmer. I don’t remember why I even bought this polish. Probably so I could get something free? I think I’ll try this under a shatter…

This is two coats of “Milky White Shimmer” over Holo Taco Pink Smoothing Base Coat and under Holo Taco Glossy Taco Top Coat

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Bling Bling Black Honey Ulta Haul

Why yes, that is a super blinged out Clinique Limited Edition Almost Lipstick in “Black Honey”. It was 50% off ($15.50) in this month’s Diamond Love List and my last one was down to a stub, so I JUMPED on it. That was the only thing that I wanted this month…but then I found some other things…

I was in the mood for more bougie bath stuff, so I decided to try out Sol de Janeiro Bom Dia Bright Clarifying AHA BHA Body Wash ($26). It has a little salicylic acid, along with the all the other good stuff and it will help clear up my summer bacne. I sprung for the Sol de Janeiro Limited Edition Perfume Mist Discovery Set ($34), which was kinda dumb in retrospect. I already had 62 and 48. I wanted the 40 to match the body wash, but it isn’t as good as the body wash and 87 is weird, too. Sigh. I guess I cannot be too mad, because I used $50 in Ulta points.

My daughter is into dry shampoo and MONDAY Haircare Brunette Dry Shampoo ($7.99) is cheaper than Batiste or Not Your Mother’s, so I wanted her to try it. I also needed more Unbound Jelly ($18) for…stuff.

In addition to using $50 in Ulta points and a $3.50 off $15 coupon, I got two gifts with purchase! I got Platinum & Diamond Exclusive Free 17 Piece Gift with $85 purchase, which included Good Molecules Pimple Patches (giving to Lily); Redken Control Hairspray; Polite Society Greatest Lashes of All Time Mascara; NOYZ 12:00 eau de parfum; CHI Infra Silk Infusion; Kenra Moisture Shampoo & Conditioner; Eau Thermale Avene Cicalfate Serum; Olaplex No. 4 Shampoo and No. 5 Conditioner (YASSSS); Dolce & Gabbana Devotion; philosophy dose of wisdom dark circle brightening cream; Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair; Stila Liquid Lipstick in “Mute”; Lolavie Glossing Detangler (saving for my Barbies); Drunk Elephant B-Hydra Intensive Hydration Serum; and pixi Glow Tonic (I have so much of this). I also qualified for a Diamond Member Exclusive! Free 11 Piece Sampler with $100 purchase, that included St. Moritz Tanning Mousse (giving away); le mini macaron Nail Cleanser Pads (pretty sure they are just alcohol wipes); Half Magic Face Gems (hello Gwen Stefani in the late 90s); Olaplex No. 6 Bond Smoother (trifecta!); megababe The Geo Deo (going in my travel bag); Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair; COSRX The 6 Peptide Skin Booster Serum; Living proof. restore conditioner (but no fucking shampoo?); philosophy dose of wisdom bouncy skin reactivating serum; r.e.m. beauty On Your Collar Classic Lipstick in “Lingerie”; and it Cosmetics Hello Results Wrinkle Reducing Daily Retinol Serum-in-a-Cream. WoW! My skin is excited.

Just $762 to Diamond in 2026.

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Easter Egg Nails

I was feeling festive and got out one of my trusty old dotting tools to make Easter Egg Nails for today’s…ham? That’s really the only Easter-adjacent things going on in the house right now. The real holiday is TOMORROW, when I can go get jelly beans for my husband at pennies on the dollar.

If you asked me directly, I’d tell you that I picked up the Sally Hansen Insta-Dri x PEEPS on sale last year…but looking back at my posts, it was 2022! Time flies when the world is ending…in any case, I’ve already used “PEEPS Blue” and “PEEPS Fruit Punch”, so I used “PEEPS Pink”, “PEEPS Yellow” and “PEEPS White” for this manicure. Nothing too exciting to report – they are plain crème polishes, a bit streaky in one coat, but nice and self-levelling in two coats.

I started with Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat, then two coats of each PEEPS nail polish. I dotted with my dotting tool, and then finished with Glisten & Glow Top Coat.

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Secret Allure

The magnet makes all the difference!

Penelope Luz “Secret Allure” is from January’s Masquerade Polish Pickup. The colors are fairly similar to “Nichibotsu”, but the effect is totally different. Instead of the weak ass butterfly wand, I used one of my husband’s rare earth magnets. It’s small and round, slightly smaller than a 50 cent piece. I didn’t have to go through all the drama of holding it over my nails – instead, I just laid half of my fingertip over the edge of the magnet as I painted. The effect is a mix of velvet effect and a bar magnet, giving the impression of a french manicure. I could NOT stop looking at my nails!

So what do you think of my new lightbox? My husband had gotten it for me about six months ago, but I kept forgetting to set it up. I was having a hard time capturing the magnetic polishes in sunlight and I’m very happy with the pictures using the lightbox. I’m still using my phone, as opposed to my SLR – I admit to being a lazy bum. I think I’ll switch to using it for all my nail pics.

This is two coats of “Secret Allure”, magnetized with a round rare earth magnet using DRK Nails Magic Effect and over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Tropical Oasis” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Blackberry Passionfruit“.

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Erythrocytes

So many medical words are derived from Ancient Greek. Erythrocytes are red blood cells and DRK Nails “Erythrocytes” is inspired by red blood cells under the microscope…which was the theme of March’s Polish Pickup.

I was so excited to try DRK Nails Magic Effect – will this be the magical product that makes magnetic nail polish easy? Well….yes and no. I started with a base coat and a single coat of polish. I did the second coat of polish one nail at a time, magnetizing the polish with a butterfly magnet. After letting them dry for 5 minutes or so, I then used Magic Effect on each nail, magnetizing again. After those coats dried, I finished with the top coat – one nail at a time, magnetizing each one for a third time. I suspect that the butterfly magnet that I picked up from Polish Pickup isn’t strong enough, so next time I’ll try a different one. I had the best result on my thumb – it looks more like fireworks than a butterfly, but I am diggin’ it.

This is two coats of “Erythrocytes”, magnetized with a butterfly magnet using DRK Nails Magic Effect and over Cuticula Mic Drop Base Coat in “Tropical Oasis” and under Cuticula Limitless Top Coat in “Blackberry Passionfruit“.

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Butt Stuff Ulta Haul

How can I NOT buy a product called Butt Stuff?

Look, I’m 49 years old and have birthed two children. I don’t need to draw a diagram of how that fucks up your body, especially the no-no square. I have not yet had a flare-up, so I haven’t gotten to use megababe Butt Stuff Hemorrhoid Cream ($22.40, down from $28) yet. You will be the FIRST to know how it goes…

In addition to restocking on Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Joia Strengthening + Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner ($26 each), I added a few fun things to my cart. I’ve never read a single page or watched a single frame of Twilight, but I got a Twilight: New Moon x Colourpop Multichrome Shadow Stix in “It’s Always Been Him” ($12) because the color was extra pretty. I tried it and I like it – but it is a whole lotta green for my face. I also picked up Holo Taco “Milky White Shimmer” ($14) because why not?

All this was enough for a free 13 piece beauty bag with my $90 purchase. In addition to the canvas drawstring beauty bag, I got Oak Essentials Moisture Rich Balm (in a weird burlap bag?); Pureology Strength Cure Shampoo and Conditioner (I love a matching set); Gaultier Divine; Caroline Herrera Very Good Girl; NYX Face Freezie Cooling Primer; Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb Tiger Lily; Clinique Moisture Surge Active Glow Serum; Mugler Alien Goddess (ugh, why do I get this in every fucking bag?); Paco Rabanne Invictus Victory Elixir; Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium; Good Molecules Hydrating Facial Cleansing Gel; and Dionis Goat Milk Hand Cream in “Vanilla Bean”. I really appreciate that the bag wasn’t one of the 13 items. I could’ve done with less perfume samples, but the rest of the samples are top shelf.

Just $814 until I reach Platinum for 2026.