Category: Marital Aids
Bougie Brazilian Ulta Haul
So my daughter makes fun of all the Sol de Janeiro that I buy…she says that I have the taste of an 11 year old ‘Sephora kid’…She’s 18 and it is totally lost on her that these 11 year olds have MOTHERS and THEIR MOTHERS are the ones buying these kids adult products at Sephora and making Tik Toks to monetize their children. All of this is to say…I don’t smell like an 11 year old – these 11 year olds smell like a 50 year old woman!
ANYWAY…Sol de Janeiro came out with a new scent and I purchased it sight unsmelled. Rosa Charmosa AKA Cheriosa 91 is a passionfruit and rose mix, so I was fairly certain I would LOVE it and LOVE it I did. I picked up Sol de Janeiro Cheirosa 91 Hair & Body Perfume Mist ($26) and Rosa Charmosa Dewy Cream ($24) and it’s become my “go to” scent. I bought the smaller sizes, but will be buying larger sizes shortly.
I figured I would keep on going and filled my cart with Sol de Janeiro. I picked up a Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Visibly Firming Refillable Body Cream ($44), Sol de Janeiro Beija Flor Body Collagen-Boosting Elasti-Cream with Bio-Retinol ($48), and Sol de Janeiro Rio Deo Aluminum-Free Refillable Deodorant Cheirosa 68 ($18). I’ll be using the Rosa Charmosa with Beija Flor – they meld well together.
Rounding off my cart, I also got a new lube – Playground Free Love Extra-Gentle Water-Based Personal Lubricant ($18) – because Ulta was out of stock of the other one I like. I also grabbed an Ulta Beauty Magic Marker Lip Stain in “Cocoa Mood” ($11.50) and it’s the Rum Raisin of my dreams. (Remember in the 90s, when Clinique “Rum Raisin” was all the rage?)
My order got me several different gifts with purchase. I got a Cetaphil Facial Cleanser with my $50 purchase. I also got Sol de Janeiro 4 piece gift with my $65 brand purchase, which included a Bum Bum Cream and Body Spray only in the bag – it was missing the Body Badalada Lotion that was supposed to come with it. I am kind of salty about that, because I was looking forward to trying it.
The BIG gift with purchase was the Free Diamond Exclusive 40 Piece Beauty Bag with select $185 shipped purchase, Inside the super cute terry cloth makeup bag was tarte tarlette Tubing Mascara Primer; Osea Undaria Algae Body Oil; deluxe size Prada “Paradoxe“; Peach & Lily Retinol for All Renewing Serum; Milani Conceal + Perfect Blur Out Powder; Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair!; Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Whiskey”; Beautybio The Balance Gel Cleanser; Fresh Black Tea Renewal Serum; CeraVe Invisible Mineral Sunscreen; Supergoop! Dew Screen; Living proof. Perfect hair Day Dry Shampoo (going to the daughter); Verb Frizz Defense Smoothing Spray; Urban Veda Daily Purifying Facial Wash; Cetaphil Nourishing Oil to Foam Cleanser; Rare Beauty Soft Pinch Dewy Liquid Blush; Clarins Lip Comfort Oil “04”; Joico Dream Blowout Glass; Buxom Plump Shot Lip Serum; Origins Check and Balances Gentle Foaming Face Wash; La Roche-Posay Toleriane Purifying Foam Cleanser; Mighty Patch Invisible+ (definitely going to the daughter); Jane Iredale Just Kissed Lip and Cheek Stain; Vichy Liftactiv 16% Pure Vitamin C Brightening Serum; ma:nyo Galac Niacin 3.0 Essence; Sebastian Professional Porion 9 Leave-in Conditioner & Styling Cream; Pureology Hydrate Shampoo & Conditioner (deluxe bottles!); Morphe Solo Artist Priming Cream Eyeshadow in “Mixtape”; Pixi Glow Tonic; L.A. Girl Perfect Precision Lip Liner in “Blushing”; Ethique Beauty Love at First Swipe Scalp Health Mini Solid Shampoo (I’m frustrated with how long it takes to use the Kitsch one I got, but I’ll give this one a try); Sunday Riley CEO Brightening Serum; Hourglass Unlocked Instant Extensions Mascara; Carolina Herrera “La Bomba”; divi Scalp Serum; Rabanne “Million Gold for her”; NOYZ “Detour”; and Estee Lauder Double Wear Smooth & Blur Primer. I am not even made that it’s 90% skin stuff – it will save me a few months of buying face wash and serums.
I had a $20 off coupon code, as well as $20.50 in Ulta points, which is what I used to justify this little splurge. Only $684 to Diamond in 2027.
Bling Bling Black Honey Ulta Haul
Why yes, that is a super blinged out Clinique Limited Edition Almost Lipstick in “Black Honey”. It was 50% off ($15.50) in this month’s Diamond Love List and my last one was down to a stub, so I JUMPED on it. That was the only thing that I wanted this month…but then I found some other things…
I was in the mood for more bougie bath stuff, so I decided to try out Sol de Janeiro Bom Dia Bright Clarifying AHA BHA Body Wash ($26). It has a little salicylic acid, along with the all the other good stuff and it will help clear up my summer bacne. I sprung for the Sol de Janeiro Limited Edition Perfume Mist Discovery Set ($34), which was kinda dumb in retrospect. I already had 62 and 48. I wanted the 40 to match the body wash, but it isn’t as good as the body wash and 87 is weird, too. Sigh. I guess I cannot be too mad, because I used $50 in Ulta points.
My daughter is into dry shampoo and MONDAY Haircare Brunette Dry Shampoo ($7.99) is cheaper than Batiste or Not Your Mother’s, so I wanted her to try it. I also needed more Unbound Jelly ($18) for…stuff.
In addition to using $50 in Ulta points and a $3.50 off $15 coupon, I got two gifts with purchase! I got Platinum & Diamond Exclusive Free 17 Piece Gift with $85 purchase, which included Good Molecules Pimple Patches (giving to Lily); Redken Control Hairspray; Polite Society Greatest Lashes of All Time Mascara; NOYZ 12:00 eau de parfum; CHI Infra Silk Infusion; Kenra Moisture Shampoo & Conditioner; Eau Thermale Avene Cicalfate Serum; Olaplex No. 4 Shampoo and No. 5 Conditioner (YASSSS); Dolce & Gabbana Devotion; philosophy dose of wisdom dark circle brightening cream; Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair; Stila Liquid Lipstick in “Mute”; Lolavie Glossing Detangler (saving for my Barbies); Drunk Elephant B-Hydra Intensive Hydration Serum; and pixi Glow Tonic (I have so much of this). I also qualified for a Diamond Member Exclusive! Free 11 Piece Sampler with $100 purchase, that included St. Moritz Tanning Mousse (giving away); le mini macaron Nail Cleanser Pads (pretty sure they are just alcohol wipes); Half Magic Face Gems (hello Gwen Stefani in the late 90s); Olaplex No. 6 Bond Smoother (trifecta!); megababe The Geo Deo (going in my travel bag); Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair; COSRX The 6 Peptide Skin Booster Serum; Living proof. restore conditioner (but no fucking shampoo?); philosophy dose of wisdom bouncy skin reactivating serum; r.e.m. beauty On Your Collar Classic Lipstick in “Lingerie”; and it Cosmetics Hello Results Wrinkle Reducing Daily Retinol Serum-in-a-Cream. WoW! My skin is excited.
Just $762 to Diamond in 2026.
Fire Fighter Ulta Haul
I was sitting in my local Ulta a few Saturdays ago, waiting for the bleach to process, and texted my daughter to find out if she needed anything from Ulta. She said no, then I told her to ask her dad…she told her to tell me to get more lube. I could feel her CRINGING through the phone. I was relaying this to my stylist…and she was like – WE SELL LUBE? I pulled up the app and showed her all the different options, and as I was scrolling, I saw the Smile Makers “The Fire Fighter” ($60)…since I had a 20% off coupon that was about to expire, I decided to splurge on my vajayjay with “The Fire Fighter”, as well as Unbound Jelly ($18) and Unbound Jolt Enhanced Stimulating Water-Based Gel ($24). Let me tell you, “The Fire Fighter” is one DAMN fine machine. Reach out for more details…
Even though summer is almost over, I occasionally shave in the winter…I love rose scented bath stuff, so Tree Hut Moroccan Rose Bare Moisturizing Shave Oil ($12.99) and Moroccan Rose Foaming Gel Wash ($11.49) were a no brainer. I even got a free Tree Hut Shower Sponge with my $20 purchase.
My purchase qualified me for a free Platinum & Diamond Exclusive 12 Piece Skincare Gift with $60 purchase, which came with Real Techniques Real Clean XL Makeup Remover Wipes; COOLA Sun Silk Drops Sunscreen; bareMinerals Ageless 10% Phyto-Retinol Night Concentrate; Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair; Cocokind Resurrection Polypeptide Cream; Philosophy Hope in a Jar Smooth-Glow Multi-Tasking Moisturizer; Perricone MD Cold Plasma+ Sub-D/Neck; Urban Skin Rx Even Tone Cleansing Bar; Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion+; Sun Bum Sunscreen SPF 30; Juice Beauty Green Apple Age Defy Serum; and Sol de Janeiro Bum Bum Body Firmeza Oil. I will use every single one of these!
Getting my hair done, plus this haul, leaves me with just $63 til Diamond in 2025.
Big Bum Bum Ulta Haul
I’d been waiting for a 20% off coupon that includes Prestige Brands…and BOOM, it’s Bum Bum time.
I got full size Sol de Janeiro Brazilian 4 Play Moisturizing Shower Cream-Gel ($26), Brazilian Joia Strengthening + Smoothing Shampoo ($26), Brazilian Joia Strengthening + Smoothing Conditioner ($26), and Rio Deo Aluminum-Free Refillable Deodorant Cheirosa ’62 ($16). It ain’t cheap smelling this good. My friend Brittany asked if there would be a scented cloud following me around and the answer is YES. A scented cloud of salted pistachio and caramel – yum!
Don’t tell my children that I bought more lube at Ulta – Smile Makers Generous Gel ($19.95)
I also got a free mystery gift with my $60 purchase. The mystery included Billie Eilish “eilish” (it smells like straight vanilla extract); Real Techniques Miracle Concealer Sponge; OUAI Anti-Frizz Creme; it Cosmetics Confidence in a Cleanser (the only useful thing in the gift); Peach & Lily Super Oasis Concentrated Serum; and Lancome Idole Ultra Precise Waterproof Liner.
$763 to Diamond in 2025.
Rosy Ulta Haul
I was running low on my absolute FAVORITE underarm deodorant – Megababe Rosy Pits Daily Deodorant ($14) – so I ordered one. I literally used the last smidge in the roller the day this box arrived.
We’re all adults here…I hope…so I’m just going to put it out there…after a hysterectomy and menopause, a lady might need a little help in the moisture department. I ordered Unbound Jelly ($18) and it does what it is supposed to do. No weird scents or flavors, it just gets the job done. Ulta is now carrying a wide variety of lubes and toys, so be forewarned. Good thing my teenagers actively ignore anything I write or put on social media!
Eyebrows are the most important element of my look these days, so I stocked up on a few more Ulta Ultra Slim Brow Pencils ($10 each) – one in “Medium Brown” for casual looks and one in “Dark Brown” for when I want to go full “Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest.” I got a free 9 piece gift with my purchase that includes an eye and face palette; ULTAmate Lashes Mascara in “Jet Black”; Velvet Matte Liquid Lipstick in a mystery shade; Lip Stain in a mystery shade; Poreless Face Primer; Matte Eye Primer; an eye shadow brush and a makeup sponge, all in a metallic pink makeup bag.
Not only did I use a $10 off $40 coupon and got the free Ulta gift with purchase…I also got a free 10 piece body care gift with my $60 purchase…which wasn’t really $60 because of the coupon. The gift included Hempz Citrus Blossom Herbal Body Moisturizer; Daily Concepts Your Facial Mini Scrubber (looks like the Dobie pad in my kitchen); Kniepp Mineral Bath Salt in “Under the Weather” (eucalyptus!); Whim by Ulta Beauty Peppermint Moisturizing Foot Mask; La Roche-Posay Lipikar Wash AP+; L’Occitane Amande Shower Oil; Completely Bare Don’t Grow There Body Moisturizer & Hair Inhibitor (you KNOW I’ll be trying this); Megababe Space Bar Detoxifying Charcoal Underarm Bar; Dionis Goat Milk Shave Butter; and Fresh Milk Body Cleanser. I feel like I would use ALL of those!
Just $329 to Diamond in 2024.