Category: Nails
Trumplestiltskin!
So…Lisa asked me for a polish to match that Cheeto-faced charlatan’s repulsive mug…he who shall not be named. Lily was also bugging me to try one of the new polishes that Loo gave her. I set eyes on Sinful Colors “Courtney Orange” and decided it was the one.
The problem is…it’s too gorgeous! I thought it would be a sheer jelly, but it’s a vivid metallic – the most beautiful sunset orange I have ever seen. I’ve hated orange FOREVER…until now. This polish has changed IT ALL.
After Sinful Colors Base Coat, “Courtney Orange” went one like a dream. No clumps or bubbles, just smooth sailing. This is two coats and although it is full coverage, there’s still a hint of VNL. I don’t even care. “HK Girl” added amazing shine.
To match my nails, I also tried Urban Decay “Fireball” on my eyes today. It looks orange in the pan…but it’s a peachy pink sunset duochrome. It’s magnificent color for a summer glow.
Oh…and I’m totally going to buy a car this color. I don’t know what or when, but I’ve been shopping…
Elegantly Wasted
Is it even possible to be elegantly wasted?
To be “wasted”, it’s generally understood to indicate a state of sloppy hot mess. Whatever, this polish by Trust Fund Beauty is called “Elegantly Wasted”.
I got it a million years ago in an ipsy bag. I’d been resisting it because it’s so boring. “Elegantly Wasted” is a greyish lavender – elegant, I guess? I needed something boring after the worst polish ever.
After Orly Bonder, I tentatively put on a coat of “Elegantly Wasted”. Second coat, no problem — smooth cream coverage. I added shine with “HK Girl”.
I don’t know what I was so worried about. It looks pretty good for boring.
Worst. Polish. EVER.
I’m not even kidding. Essie “Belugaria” is literally the worst polish EVER. Words cannot describe how awful this polish is…but I’m going to try to explain.
My first hint should have been the fact that it was $2.12. I’ve never seen an essie that cheap. This poor sad polish had been sitting at Walgreen’s for three fucking years. Seriously…NO ONE wanted this polish. Then I googled and saw that it came out in the Winter 2013 collection. But I made the mistake of taking it home with me.
Why is this polish so horrible? First…the bottle lied to me. I thought it was a black jelly with glitter…but NOOOOOO. It’s textured, which would be great if it was fine textured like “Sugar High” or if it was chunkier like one of the Zoya Pixie Dusts AND had visual interest. Nope – it was chunky as fuck and MATTE black with just a few holo hex glitters thrown in. Seriously, it was like spreading sugar scrub on my nails. After Orly Bonder, The first coat wasn’t too bad…thick and goopy, but not quite full coverage. My mistake was going for the second coat. It didn’t spread – it just made little mountains on my nails.
Although it dried quickly, the formula chipped easily. The first time I washed my hands – BOOM, half my nails were chipped to fuck. To be fair, this is a common problem with textured polishes, but this one is the most fragile I’ve ever tried.
Worst of all…it damaged my cooter. This might be TMI…but I feel like I need to make a public service announcement. This stuff is so sharp that it cut through several layers of toilet paper and scratched me. No blood…but a close call, nonetheless. Don’t worry, I took it off as soon as I got home from work.
Remember…just say NO to “Belugaria”.
Let Me Flamingo
Sinful Colors NEON “Let Me Flamingo” is a perfect hot pink for summer.
“Let me Flamingo” is my second sampling of a Sinful Colors NEON polish. Like “The Bright Thing”, the color of the polish doesn’t really match the bottle, but at least this one is a bit closer. Like “The Bright Thing”, it’s rather sheer – almost like a matte jelly.I only did two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat. I decided that I can live with the visible nail line. I finished with “HK Girl” for that shine.
I also did my toes. The hot pink makes my toes look super white.
Not my favorite hot pink for summer though…that would be Funky Fingers “Aloha Beaches”. I might switch my toes to that…
6 Walgreen’s Trips
I’ve been waiting for Walgreen’s to have another Sinful Colors sale…this week, they brought back the 2/$3 sale, which is NOT the same as $1.50 each.
There were just 2 polishes I wanted – “Let Me Flamingo” and “Bye Felicia!” – mostly because of the names. It should be simple, enough, right?
On Wednesday, I ran to the Walgreen’s by my work during lunch…couldn’t find either.
There was another Walgreen’s 10 minutes away, so I checked there, too. It was one of those fancy Walgreen’s with the upgraded beauty section…again, nothing. They even had the PRIDE display that “Bye Felicia!” – but none of the PRIDE polishes. Oh well, back to work.
On Thursday, I took my daughter to the Orthodontist and hit the Walgreen’s there. (There really ARE Walgreen’s everywhere.) Success as I found “Let Me Flamingo”, but no “Bye Felicia!” Lily wanted some polish, too. She picked out “Forever Pink”, “No FIlter” and “Curry Up” (which was on surprise clearance for 49 cents). She even paid for them herself!
After dropping Lily off, I hit two more Walgreen’s on my way to work. Still…no “Bye Felicia!”, although I did find a clearance essie “Belugaria” for $2.12 at the last one. A small win…
Flash forward to today. After Lily’s gymnastics class, I decided to run into Walgreen’s (yes, the SIXTH one) to look for Coconut Water. Sally has been raving about it and sampled three different kinds…unfortunately, Walgreen’s only had the worst one – Vita Coco. I grabbed it and the Delish (store brand). I agree with her assessment of the Vita Coco – thick and a bit oily, but still not bad. I have high hopes for the Delish, since the label doesn’t list any added sugars. I’m not a convert yet…there’s a possibility that it gives me the trots…not that it takes much.
ANYWAY, this Walgreen’s also had my beloved “Bye Felicia!” in all it’s yellow glory. YASSSSS BITCH. I also picked up “Vacation Time”, because DUH. Lily had to get more polish, too – “Cloud 9” (another surprise 49 cent clearance) and “GoGo Boy”. She’s a chip off of the old block.
I’m done for real now…although I know where a 7th and 8th Walgreen’s are…
Sugar High
So…Sinful Colors is getting into the texture game…let’s see how they do.
This is Sinful Colors “Sugar High”, a blurple sugar-textured polish. The polish itself is blue, but the shimmer is purple. For some reason, it reminds me of the blue fairy in Pinocchio.
The texture is super-fine, more similar to Julep’s micro-glitter than Zoya’s pixie dusts. I started with Sinful Colors Base Coat and then did two coats of “Sugar High”. The coverage is more sheer than I expected – you can see than visible nail line. The polish adheres well, no chips after 24 hours.
Now I need to hunt for more polishes from the “Sugar Crushin'” Collection…coincidentally, Walgreen’s is 2/$3 this week.
Veronica is a Gemini
It doesn’t matter how shitty today has been…My lips and nails match perfectly…
It turns out that Julep “Veronica” – modern mauve creme – is an almost perfect match to Jeffree Star Cosmetics “Gemini”. I had no idea…but I was looking for a “normal” polish to wear today, since I was meeting my new President and VP at work today. (Sometimes I pretend to be a regular person…shhhh, don’t tell.)
I used Julep Oxygen Bonding Base Coat. The first coat of “Veronica” was a bit streaky, but it improved with the second coat. The second coat had a few thin streaks, but nothing too horrible. It may be because this is a positively ancient polish – I got it as a freebie two years ago – and it was probably already a year old then. I finished with “HK Girl”.
I think I’m going to find polishes to match ALL of my Jeffree Star lippies…
Naveena
I have so many teal polishes, but I didn’t have teal jelly…Julep “Naveena” from this month’s Julep box fixed that right up.
I started with Julep Oxygen Bonding Base Coat. I painted two coats of “Naveena” and then finished with “HK Girl”. My first impression was that “Naveena” has more coverage than a jelly – it’s more of a crelly, creme jelly. Two coats gave nearly full coverage, but my nail line is still quite obvious. The coverage wasn’t exactly streaky – it was more like watercolor paint, settling around the edges, with thin spots in places. There was strong shrinkage around the edges after topping with “HK Girl”, but nothing awful. I also noticed a plague of bubbles underneath the “HK Girl”. They weren’t there last night, but maybe I put on the top coat too soon?
When I googled “Naveena”, I found an Indian Slasher film actress…I didn’t even now that they watched horror movies in India. I need to get out more…
June Julep Maven Box – Midsummer Light
When you get so much mail in one day (Saturday) that it takes days to work through the backlog…
June’s theme is “Midsummer Light”. I wasn’t wowed by the polishes this month, but I did choose one that looked pretty – Wonder Maven “Naveena”, lush jungle teal jelly. I have lots of teal polishes, but no teal jellies.
For beauty products, I chose one of the new Skip the Brush Creme-to-Powder Blush Sticks in “Warm Bronze”. I’m hoping it will give me a sun-kissed glow without actually stepping outside. I also chose a new shade of When Pencil Met Gel Long-Lasting Eyeliner in “Sunset Gold”. I’m gonna bling out my eyes.
My only complaint…NECCO wafers. Fucking disgusting. My husband called dibs and he can have those nasty things.
Not a Julep Maven? Click HERE to join – I’ll get a $15 credit and you’ll get your first box free!
Aloha Beaches
Finally!
A new collection of summer polishes from Funky Fingers at Five Below! Grammy was taking this kids to go birthday shopping, but I ended up doing more shopping for me…
I found these three polishes and I couldn’t stop giggling at their naughty names. The peachy pink is “Beach Please”. The chrome-y blue is “Salty Kisses” – Grammy and I couldn’t stop laughing at that one. (No one wants salty kisses…no one.) The shocking pink one is “Aloha Beaches”. These were well worth 3/$5.
I found a big floppy hat ($5) to wear at the beach and the pool…yup, I am officially one of those old ladies. I always manage to get a sunburn on the part on the top of my head. It only took my 40 years to do something about it.
I also found a huge inflatable flamingo for $5…huge might be an overstatement. The jury is still out as to whether I’ll be able to wedge my fat ass into it…at the very least, I *should* be able to get it around my waist…if not, I guess Lily will get a new pool toy.
I let me husband pick which one I would try first…
…and he chose “Aloha Beaches”. Good choice, honey.
I didn’t realize that these polishes are demi-matte. This is two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat. The formula is nice and smooth –
I decided to forego a top coat, so I could enjoy the matte finish. Ugh, I’m too rough on my nails to go without a top coat. Even though my nails were dry a full two hours before bedtime, I still woke up with sheet marks in my nails. Even worse, I had to get my car towed to the dealership today and taking my keys off the keyring mangled a few of my nails. Bah, humbug.