Tag: Julep

Easter Shopping
Remember when stores used to be closed on holidays? Easter is one of the few holidays that still closes some stores – HEB and Target are closed today, but Ulta was open. Do a lot of people go buy makeup after Easter Sunday service?
I got a ladyboner yesterday when I got an Ulta sale mag in the mail yesterday. Most of it was fragrances for Mother’s Day, but there was one special that caught my eye – Buy 2 Zoya polishes and get a free Zoya “Monet”, a multi-colored, cellophane holographic special effect topper. Plus, I still had a $5 off $15 coupon. I picked up “Cassedy” (full-coverage celestial pewter metallic from the Zenith Winter Collection) and “Dillon” (full-coverage green mint metallic with silver shimmer from the Awaken Spring 2014 collection). I also got a sample of it’s a 10 miracle leave in product – what does that even mean?
I couldn’t wait to try “Monet”, so I used it on my middle fingernails, over Julep “Tatum”. NOW, my Easter Grass nails are complete.

Easter Grass
Doesn’t Julep “Tatum” look like Easter grass?
Easter grass is verboten in our house…if you’ve never pulled a strand of Easter grass out of a feline’s bunghole – you don’t know what you’re missing! Trust me, they like it even less than you do…
In lieu of Easter grass, I’ll make do with Easter grass nails…

BOGO
Julep is evil!
They KNOW that if they send me a BOGO (Buy One, Get One), I’m gonna use it.
I am really loving their monthly Birthstone Collection, so I ordered “Aretha” – Aquamarine for March and “Coretta” – Diamond for April. “Coretta” contains real diamond dust according to the website.
I also spent $2 on a 4 pack of Buffer Blocks. I didn’t expect them to be so tiny.
New Speckled Mystery Boxes were just released…I will resist! I WILL.

Polish Remover Battle Royale
I’m taking my polish off 2, 3, sometimes 4 or 5 times week. I also use a lot of glitter. When I say “a lot” – I mean a fuck ton. A METRIC FUCK TON.
Since joining Julep and then starting this blog, I’ve gotten a few suggestions to take me beyond the usual drugstore removers. The first suggestion I got was from my cuzzin, Beth – Zoya “Remove +”. I was going on and on about Julep and she said I HAD to try Zoya Remover. Although I still haven’t gotten my hands on Zoya polish, I immediately went to Ulta and picked up the Zoya Remover for $10. It’s really tough on glitter, although it can still take a long time scrubbing my nails. It smells good and leaves my skin feeling soft.I was all impressed because I thought it didn’t contain acetone – the main ingredient was listed as 2-Propanone. A quick Google told me that 2-Propanone IS acetone. Very sneaky, Zoya.
My friend Angie commented on the site that she swears by the little plastic jar that you dip your fingers in from Target. (The product is actually called up&up “nail polish remover dip-it”.) It was only $3-$4, so I picked one up. Immediately, I was reminded of THE DIP from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? This shit melts fingernail polish like it was a tiny cartoon horn. There are little scrubbies inside the jar that power the glitter off. Except for the fact that it dries my skin out like leather, this is the best thing EVER.
The last product I tried out is Julep’s “Party’s Over” Glitter Nail Polish Remover Kit. The kit is 10 little silicone caps that you pop on the end of your nails with an acetone wipey. The first 7 caps went on just fine…the last 3 were a bitch to get one. I would have tried one hand at a time, but I was afraid the wipeys would dry out. This method works exceedingly well…but it was $22 for just 5 packets of wipeys.
Ultimately, the winner of the Polish Remover Battle Royale is…the up&up “nail polish remover dip-it”, but the remover inside of it is exceedingly toxic-feeling. When I finish it off, I’m going to refill it will Zoya “Remove +” to create the PERFECT product.

Glitter to the Rescue!
The more polish that I buy, the harder it is to choose! It’s a conundrum worthy of O. Henry…
So why choose? I knew I had to do something to stop the rapid degradation of Julep “Caitlin” from my nails. Instead of picking just one…I picked 5 glitters.
From thumb to pinky, I used Sally Hansen Gem Crush “Razzle Dazzler”, wet n wild coloricon “The Crown is Mine”, Julep “Antonia”, Nicole by OPI “Rainbow in the S-Kylie” (Yes, I am guilty of contributing to the Kardashians’ empire by buying clearance nail polish at HEB – shoot me) and Julep “Betty”.
I LOVE this crazy glitter bonanza!

I’m a Barbie Girl…
…in a Barbie world. Life in plastic – it’s fantastic!
You just sang that in your head, didn’t you?
After the Traffic Cones incident, I had high hopes for the other polish from my April Julep Box. “Caitlin” is described as shocking hibiscus with gold shimmer. To me, it looks more like the Barbie pink plastic that all of my daughter’s Barbie shit is made from. It’s cheap plastic from China – so sheer that you can almost see through it….just like “Caitlin”. This time, I only applied one coat – it was the same matte finish as “Mariska”, so I topped with “Freedom Polymer”.
Unlike “Mariska”, I LOVE the color – I just hate the finish. Even with the topcoat, it’s chipping ridiculously quickly. I’m sleepy, so GLITTER TO THE RESCUE!

Traffic Cones
Do my fingernails remind you of a construction zone?
Orange is my least favorite color to begin with…but the description of Julep “Mariska” sounded inviting: juicy tangerine shimmer. I put on a thin first coat…and it dried matte. Hmmm…I put on a second coat…still matte and gross. Julep “Freedom Polymer Topcoat” to the rescue! I will admit that this top coat is awesome in a lot of ways. It dried immediately and I’m pretty sure it would make this paint job last a week without major chips…but I need to practice putting it on more thinly. It puckered around the edges and crackled. I even got an air bubble in it! Amateur mistake!
I am rarely disappointed in Julep, but I’ll admit I’m disappointed in “Mariska”. I won’t give up – I’ll try it under glitter, but I definitely do not like it alone.
I’m going to take this orange shit off my nails RIGHT NOW.

April Julep Maven Box – The Vivid Collection
A new record – I received my monthly Julep Box on the 31st!
April’s theme is “The Vivid Collection”. I’m much more excited about this month’s collection compared to last month’s “Riviera Collection”. I had a hard time choosing this month, so I kind of cheated. I wanted a box with the “Pore-Minimizing Blush” in “Petal Pink”, so I chose the “Classic with a Twist” box, which also came with two polishes – “Mariska”, juicy tangerine shimmer and “Caitlin”, shocking hibiscus with gold shimmer. My cheat was adding on “Tatum” – neon chartreuse chrome – from the “Bombshell” box. I TOTALLY need to get a job writing the descriptions of these colors.
This month’s extra is 2 pieces of hard candy. Really, Julep? REALLY?
Not a Julep Maven? CLICK HERE to join! Your first box is free with code FREEBOX!

Nekkid Nails
Well technically, my nails aren’t nekkid. I’m trying out Julep’s “Oxygen Nail Treatment”.
It’s no surprise that since becoming a Julep Maven last November, my nails have been seeing a lot of action. All this painting and de-glitterfying is starting to take a toll on the health of my nails. I’m not able to let me nails grow nearly as long as I used to…they have been peeling and cracking. Oxygen Nail Treatment is supposed to fix that – read the description from Julep’s site:
Complete nail care and make-up all in one bottle. Made with a patented Hexanal formulation, nails are restructured to a stronger, thicker, and smoother condition in just one stroke. Advanced plant stem cell complex provides anti-aging benefits, while ground-breaking oxygen technology forms a nonocclusive film on the nail, proving resistant to water penetration and improving the permeability to oxygen. Results are nails that are structurally stronger, and less prone to breakage and splitting.
I was up late watching the season finale of The Walking Dead last night, so I only put one coat after I saw how long the first coat was tacky. 2-3 coats probably would have camouflaged my yellowed nails more completely, but I can’t complain about how smooth and shiny they are.
Since I got my April Julep Box today, I don’t imagine I’ll be able to NOT paint my nails tomorrow, but I’m hoping my nails will be somewhat healthier by then…

Love, Kennedy
Since my fingernails were already stained yellow from several weeks of green and blue polish, I decided it was a prime time to try out the Grey Poupon-ish “Kennedy”.
The description on Julep’s site called it “khaki crème,” and I expected to hate it…but on my fingers…I liked it! It reminded me of the butter color leather you’d imagine to be in Beyonce’s white Escalade. It’s smooooth like buttah. They should have named it “Paula” instead of “Kennedy”.
Even so, I quickly covered it up with a coat of Julep “Love.” “Love” looks totally different over a base coat than by itself. It really POPS.









