Author: Lara
Serpentina
Serpentina is mine!
It was supposed to launch on Kat Von D’s site last Tuesday and Sephora on Wednesday…but it launched early on Sephora and then immediately sold out. I was annoyed, to say the least..but then it restocked on Sephora on Wednesday and I was able to snag it. Phew, that was close. I missed out on the Mi Vida Loca palette, so I couldn’t wait on this one.
The Kat Von D Serpentina palette ($45) is inspired by Cleopatra. It’s 9 shadows – two matte, eight shimmer AND a jar of loose gold pigment. I’m scared of loose pigment, but I figure a few Q-tips will save my ass. I haven’t had a chance to try it yet…tomorrow?
Sephora was also giving out five samples instead of three. I picked Bumble and bumble. Surf Foam Wash Shampoo & Conditioner (I used a sample of this on a Vegas trip – it was nice); Tatcha Balanced Pore Perfecting Water Gel Moisturizer; Sol de Janeira Brazilian Bum Bum Cream (the package says Fast-Absorbing Body Cream Tightens and Smoothes Like No Other – so I’m supposed to tighten and smooth my bum bum?); Dr. Jart+ BB Beauty Balm; and Peter Thomas Roth 24K Gold Pure Luxury Lift and Firm Prism Cream (good thing I noticed that the back of the pouch said to use it as a highlighter before I made the mistake of covering my whole face with it). I tried to use a promo code to get a Deluxe belif sample, but it was sold out and I didn’t get shit. So sad.
…only $86 to Rouge Status for 2017.
Oh Mickey, You’re So Fine…
…you’re so fine, you blow my mind.
When I was in fifth grade, I had a MAD crush on this sixth grader named Mickey. I was obsessed. I thought that song was written for me to sing on the playground. Looking back, that was one fucking ugly kid. I think I just liked him because he was taller than me. I dunno what happened to him after sixth grade…he disappeared. He’s probably a garbage man now.
ANYWAY…this is Julep “Mickey”, pink geranium ghost iridescent. The pink is dark, dark, dark with a bit of purple shimmer. I’ve never had a Julep polish that thick and goopy. It was almost like Elmer’s Glue. This is two coats over Julep Oxygen Bonding Base Coat – I could have gotten away with just one coat. Even though it was goopy, it leveled out and finished smoothly. I topped with “HK Girl”, which seems to hide the iridescence. You can see it on the bottle, but not on my nails.
Oh…did you notice how short my nails are? My long nails had a good run…but we’re cleaning out eh garage and attic and one of my pinky nails became a victim. To save the rest of my nails, I mercy-killed them. RIP long nails…I hope to grow you back in a few months…
July Julep Maven Box – Into the Sea
Julep is taking me “Into the Sea” this month.
My first pick was easy…I skipped over this month’s collection a grabbed Julep’s Fan Brush. I skipped it 18 months ago when I got Glow Highlighting Powder – now I know I need it.
I also picked up the new Lip Shade Sheer Lip Butter in “Macaroon” – it felt so good on my dry lips this morning. It’s a light nude, but it didn’t look cakey like most light colors on me. Fingers crossed that it lasts longer than my other Julep lip products – most of them turn after 6 months or so.
I couldn’t go polish-less – I picked It Girl “Fleur”, evening bloom matte glitter. For some reason, I also ended up with an extra polish in my box – Classic with a Twist “Mickey”, pink geranium ghost iridescent. I ain’t complaining!
I used 400 Jules to add Water Droplet Nail Decals to my box – I can’t wait to try them out!
I was psyched about this month’s treat -Pizzazz Juicy Jellies. It is hands down the best jelly I’ve ever had – the pink grapefruit just melted on my tongue.
Not a Julep Maven? Click HERE to join – I’ll get a $15 credit and you’ll get your first box free!
Androgynous Masochist
Oh hello, my lovelies…
Another restock last week means another shipment of Jeffree Star Cosmetics Velour Liquid Lipstick.
I’d been waiting for a restock of “Androgyny” since Sally showed me the way and the light of Jeffree. This warm plum mauve is my new obsession. It’s very similar to Kat Von D “Lolita”, but less drying on me.
I also picked up “Masochist” – a cool berry red. On me, it’s very similar to “Rich Blood”, but without that purple shimmer. I’ve found that the reds transfer more than other colors – my coffee mug looked pretty bloody yesterday.
Jeffree just revealed his summer collection over the weekend. THANK GAWD I’m not interested in bright summer colors…my bank account couldn’t handle it if I fell in love.
KaBOOM!
Those stars in “Rocket Out” were pokey and sharp, so I had to take it off. Surprise, a bonus 4th of July mani.
I started with Julep Oxygen Bonding Base Coat. I then did 2 coats of Julep “Tin Man”, a lovely silver holographic polish. I topped it with Julep “Fireworks”, a special topper from last summer. “Tin Man” looks almost white under the glitter and a lot of the holographic goodness is lost in the red, white and silver glitter. Oh well. I used “HK Girl” to make it super shiny.
I’m falling down on the job…I did four 4th of July manis last year, but only two this year. I need to get on the ball.
Obligatory 4th of July Nails
It’s that time again…time for the obligatory 4th of July nails.
Instead of the usual red, white and blue, I decided to start with a darker base. I wanted my nails to looks like fireworks in the night sky. I picked Sinful Colors “What’s Your Name”, a black polish with vibrant blue shimmer. (Alone, it reminds me of Wonder Woman’s hair in the comics.) I started with two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat.
For the fireworks, I used a single coat of Sinful Colors “Rocket Out”. It’s filled with white, blue and bronze stars in large silver glitter. FINALLY, Sinful Colors put enough stars in a glitter! I had no problem getting 2-3 stars in each brushful of polish. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I was a bit bummed that the silver glitter made it impossible to see the blue shimmer in “What’s Your Name”. Oh well, it still looks pretty cool. I topped with “HK Girl”, but the star glitter is still really sharp. I’ve been stabbing myself with it all day. This is some dangerous stuff!
Trumplestiltskin!
So…Lisa asked me for a polish to match that Cheeto-faced charlatan’s repulsive mug…he who shall not be named. Lily was also bugging me to try one of the new polishes that Loo gave her. I set eyes on Sinful Colors “Courtney Orange” and decided it was the one.
The problem is…it’s too gorgeous! I thought it would be a sheer jelly, but it’s a vivid metallic – the most beautiful sunset orange I have ever seen. I’ve hated orange FOREVER…until now. This polish has changed IT ALL.
After Sinful Colors Base Coat, “Courtney Orange” went one like a dream. No clumps or bubbles, just smooth sailing. This is two coats and although it is full coverage, there’s still a hint of VNL. I don’t even care. “HK Girl” added amazing shine.
To match my nails, I also tried Urban Decay “Fireball” on my eyes today. It looks orange in the pan…but it’s a peachy pink sunset duochrome. It’s magnificent color for a summer glow.
Oh…and I’m totally going to buy a car this color. I don’t know what or when, but I’ve been shopping…
Ulta Stars Aligned
The stars aligned to give me a 20% off anything coupon for Ulta at the same time I had enough points on MyPoints (referral link if you’re interested in joining – I’ve been a member for 18 years and have gotten $100s of gift cards) for a $25 Ulta gift card. And on the very same weekend that I was scheduled for a haircut. Did you know that you can use those coupons on salon services? You sure can! (I had set this appointment up three months ago and I couldn’t have planned it better.)
I got there a bit early, so I decided to take advantage of the NYX BOGOHalf sale. For myself, I picked up another NYX Micro Brow Pencil in “Chocolate” (I had been using “Ash Brown”); NYX Sculpt & Highlight Brow Contour in “Medium Beige/Ash Brown” (I used it today – the brow pencil was a little fatter than I like, but I really liked the built in highlighter); another NYX Ombre Lip Duo in “Cookies & Cream” (also used this today – dark brown and nude combo is a bit much for summer, but it looked good on me); and NYX Blotting Powder in “Light/Medium” (I used this over sunscreen moisturizer for oil control – it gave sheer matte coverage with no caking). I also picked up 4 NYX Retractable Eyeliners for my big sis. It is impossible to get makeup in Ketchikan and she liked the one she picked up on her visit a few months ago.
I also grabbed a Freeman Mint & Lemon Clay Mask at 15% off. They are like Pokemon – gotta catch em all.
I ended up saving well over $50 between gift cards, sales and coupons. Go me!
Elegantly Wasted
Is it even possible to be elegantly wasted?
To be “wasted”, it’s generally understood to indicate a state of sloppy hot mess. Whatever, this polish by Trust Fund Beauty is called “Elegantly Wasted”.
I got it a million years ago in an ipsy bag. I’d been resisting it because it’s so boring. “Elegantly Wasted” is a greyish lavender – elegant, I guess? I needed something boring after the worst polish ever.
After Orly Bonder, I tentatively put on a coat of “Elegantly Wasted”. Second coat, no problem — smooth cream coverage. I added shine with “HK Girl”.
I don’t know what I was so worried about. It looks pretty good for boring.
Worst. Polish. EVER.
I’m not even kidding. Essie “Belugaria” is literally the worst polish EVER. Words cannot describe how awful this polish is…but I’m going to try to explain.
My first hint should have been the fact that it was $2.12. I’ve never seen an essie that cheap. This poor sad polish had been sitting at Walgreen’s for three fucking years. Seriously…NO ONE wanted this polish. Then I googled and saw that it came out in the Winter 2013 collection. But I made the mistake of taking it home with me.
Why is this polish so horrible? First…the bottle lied to me. I thought it was a black jelly with glitter…but NOOOOOO. It’s textured, which would be great if it was fine textured like “Sugar High” or if it was chunkier like one of the Zoya Pixie Dusts AND had visual interest. Nope – it was chunky as fuck and MATTE black with just a few holo hex glitters thrown in. Seriously, it was like spreading sugar scrub on my nails. After Orly Bonder, The first coat wasn’t too bad…thick and goopy, but not quite full coverage. My mistake was going for the second coat. It didn’t spread – it just made little mountains on my nails.
Although it dried quickly, the formula chipped easily. The first time I washed my hands – BOOM, half my nails were chipped to fuck. To be fair, this is a common problem with textured polishes, but this one is the most fragile I’ve ever tried.
Worst of all…it damaged my cooter. This might be TMI…but I feel like I need to make a public service announcement. This stuff is so sharp that it cut through several layers of toilet paper and scratched me. No blood…but a close call, nonetheless. Don’t worry, I took it off as soon as I got home from work.
Remember…just say NO to “Belugaria”.