In the Mood…for $1 Polishes

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I didn’t even go to Five Below looking for nail polish…but nail polish found me. Those buckets of $1 Funky Fingers nail polish by the register got me like…

The first two polishes I grabbed are “Mood” polishes – they shift colors with temperature changes. The purple one is “Mellow Mood” and the pink one is “In the Mood”. Having just chopped my nails off, I might need to wait a few weeks before trying these – you need long nails for mood polish.

The other pink polish is a pearly pink called “Material Girl” – just like Madonna’s dress in the video!

The last polish is a sheer dark purple called “Tint for Tat” – I’m hoping it’s a good one and not a trainwreck.

 

SAT Shopping

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What do you do, when you’re stuck waiting for you kid to take the SAT? If it had been close to the house, I would have gone home and taken a nap, but of course, none of the schools were less than thirty minutes away. Time for a little SAT Shopping…

I managed to kill over two full hours at Target, but didn’t come home with anything cool – just boring stuff like garbage bags and birthday cards and office supplies. I even tried on a few swimsuits, which wasn’t quite as horrifying as I expected, although it definitely wasn’t fun.

I also swung by Bath & Body Works, but not to buy. One of the new summer fragrances was Sea Salt Mango and I was dying to know how salt smells. I can’t say that smelling it answered my question – it smelled beachy, maybe a bit spicy? I also smelled Rose Quartz, which is a smoky rose + patchouli that I might have to add to my collection soon.

My real kryptonite was Five Below. I was all excited about the little skull rose garden I found, neglecting to notice that I had grabbed one with no seeds in it. (I went and bought another one yesterday to get some seeds – $3.) I have never been able to get anything to grow from these Buzzy sets, but maybe this is the one that will grow? I also couldn’t resist three new glittery polishes: Funky Fingers “Betcha I’m a Unicorn“, “Unicorn Dust”, and “Supernova”.

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…and just a few steps away from Five Below is Ulta. I spent at least another hour roaming the aisles at Ulta.

I immediately grabbed essence cosmetics “space glam” ($2.99) – I liked “outta space is the place” so much, that I wanted to try more from the collection.

While browsing clearance stuff, I found Pacifica Cocoa Rush Anti-Fatigue Mask for 75% off – just $3.75. It’s like rubbing chocolate pudding all over your face. It’s a hydrating mask – it doesn’t dry and pull out the pores like I prefer, but it made my skin very, very soft.

I took advantage of BOGO 40% off on NYX lippies. I picked NYX Soft Matte Metallic Lip Cream in “Cannes” immediately. I already have the regular Soft Matte in Cannes and want to compare the two. I wore it yesterday and it is so comfortable to wear. It has a soft, whipped consistency like the Julep it’s whipped, but is long lasting. I need ALL of them. I also tried Unicorn Blood Lip Gloss in “Black Hole” – I wasn’t sure how it would turn out – it’s blue glitter. I do NOT need all of them.

I was able to use a $5 off $10 coupon from my email – score! Only $309.39 to Platinum.

Poop & Polish

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My name is Lara…and I am a poopaholic.

For real, I spent $30+ on poop related stuff at Five Below the other day. Not only did I buy this animated poop (it makes farting noises and vibrates – no jokes, please), but I also bought a poop coffee mug, poop Xmas Tree ornaments and other assorted poop items that may or may not find their way into the kids’ stockings this year. I binged on poop.

BUT, I also bought some more nail polish. I feel like the Five Below by my work hasn’t gotten any new Funky Fingers in like a year…but they’ve been getting new Fresh Paints. I’ve never tried the Fresh Paints, so I grabbed three – “Dorothy”, “Rose” (OMG, this is a Golden Girls-themed collection), and “Drops of Jupiter” (ugh, I hate that song – but this polish is fucking cool).

I hope this poop thing NEVER goes away. I can’t live without poop…and polish.

$1 Buckets

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You know I can’t just walk past a bucket of $1 nail polish…much less 4 buckets!

I was bored at work yesterday, so I swung by Five Below during my lunch hour yesterday. I grabbed some random crap for the kids and as I was checking out…I spied buckets of nail polish for $1. I had already checked the nail polish display and there weren’t any new polishes, so I passed.

I picked out five Funky Fingers that caught my eye: “Bling Dipper” (Ooooh, a color-changing solar polish); “Comet Me Bro” (another color changer); “Oh Be One” (I think a Star Wars polish); “Very Purpley”; and “Hand Jive” (Grease themed, I think).

I’m so silly, these polishes are regularly $1.67-$2.50 at most – it’s not even that big of a discount.

Party Pooper

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I’ve got poop on my fingernails!

I “borrowed” Five Below “Party Pooper” from my daughter. “Santa” was kind enough to leave this cute emoji topper in Lily’s stocking this Xmas. Mommy was just biding her time until she could borrow it…

I started with Sinful Colors Base Coat and two coats of Sinful Colors “No Text Red”. I wasn’t sure what color would accentuate the light colored emojis the best, so I just went with the most basic red I could find. I then topped with a single coat of “Party Pooper” – yes, all these emoji glitter in just one coat! There are smileys and hearts and ghosts and POOPS! I got so many poops on my nails – can you see them?

I had to finished with a VERY thick coat of “HK Girl”. Those emoji glitters don’t flatten on your nails – they stick up a bit, so I just laid it on THICK.

Shitstorm

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To say that 2016 was a complete and utter shitstorm is a VAST understatement. Between politics, celebrity deaths and even the fucking weather – a complete, utter shitstorm.

To commemorate that shitstorm, I created these shitty nails, which actually are not shitty at all. I started with Sinful Colors Base Coat and two coats of Sinful Colors “Nirvana”, the dullest, doo-doo brown I have. I topped with another two coats of Funky Fingers “Olaf” – yup, still hard to fish those snowflakes out, but I got ’em. I topped with “HK Girl”. A few of the snowflakes were still sharp and bumpy, but they all stayed down until I removed the polish.

P.S. That’s not a real turd. It’s a fake one I got from Five Below.

Here’s to hoping that 2017 is at least slightly better than 2016. It won’t take much.

Throne Games

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So…I had half a day off last Friday and I was “supposed” to be looking for stocking stuffers for my kids… but then I noticed that Five Below has a new Game of Thrones  polish collection from Funky Fingers! Add to Cart!

I don’t actually watch Game of Thrones, but I’ve heard about it from friends and the internet to appreciate the references. I picked just three: Funky Fingers “Mother of Dragons”, “Winter is Coming” and “Red Wedding”. These just scream HOLIDAY MASSACRE to me.

In case you’re wondering, my son said he NEVER looks at this website – only my other one. I can post on here that I found him a huge variety of poo emoji products – including post-it notes and a tiny stuffed poo. His stocking will literally be full of shit.

Aloha Beaches

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Finally!

A new collection of summer polishes from Funky Fingers at Five Below! Grammy was taking this kids to go birthday shopping, but I ended up doing more shopping for me…

I found these three polishes and I couldn’t stop giggling at their naughty names. The peachy pink is “Beach Please”. The chrome-y blue is “Salty Kisses” – Grammy and I couldn’t stop laughing at that one. (No one wants salty kisses…no one.) The shocking pink one is “Aloha Beaches”. These were well worth 3/$5.

I found a big floppy hat ($5) to wear at the beach and the pool…yup, I am officially one of those old ladies. I always manage to get a sunburn on the part on the top of my head. It only took my 40 years to do something about it.

I also found a huge inflatable flamingo for $5…huge might be an overstatement. The jury is still out as to whether I’ll be able to wedge my fat ass into it…at the very least, I *should* be able to get it around my waist…if not, I guess Lily will get a new pool toy.

I let me husband pick which one I would try first…

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…and he chose “Aloha Beaches”. Good choice, honey.

I didn’t realize that these polishes are demi-matte. This is two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat. The formula is nice and smooth –

I decided to forego a top coat, so I could enjoy the matte finish. Ugh, I’m too rough on my nails to go without a top coat. Even though my nails were dry a full two hours before bedtime, I still woke up with sheet marks in my nails. Even worse, I had to get my car towed to the dealership today and taking my keys off the keyring mangled a few of my nails. Bah, humbug.

Getting Funky

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I absolutely cannot walk into Five Below without walking out with at least 3 fingernail polishes – it just does not happen. All I was looking for was a bag of poop…

I brought home Funky Fingers “Son of a Nutcracker” – white, pink and green glitter from last year’s Elf Collection (I love pink and green together, Xmas or not); “As If” – black, pink and purple glitter with stars; and “Bottle Rockets” – red, white and blue glitter, perfect for the 4th of July.

They didn’t seem to have any new collections since the last time I was there a few months ago. They better get on the ball or I won’t have anything to buy!

The Fingers are Weak

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…if you offer me free stuff for my birthday, I’m gonna go get it…

I talked my husband into dropping me off at Ulta on Saturday to get my deluxe sample of Benefit Roller Lash (I tried it and I must admit, it’s pretty nice.)

I also used my $10 off coupon to try some NYX stuff. I heard that NYX Micro Brow Pencil is a dupe of Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz…and it IS. Only $9.99 instead of $21.

I also got NYX BB Cream in “Natural” ($12.99) – another win – it’s great on my skin. I was looking for NYX Lip Lingerie – the display was there, but it wasn’t in stock…so I got the NYX Lip Ombre Duo in “Ginger & Nutmeg” ($11.99) instead. I also grabbed a clearance NYX Mosaic Powder Blush in “Spice”. I am getting addicted to NYX!

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After I checked out, I went to track my son and sister-in-law down at Five Below. I found them in the checkout line wearing hats and taking pictures…but I felt something pulling me.

It was the nail polish. I can’t leave Five Below empty handed. I grabbed Funky Fingers “Queen of Hearts”, “Use the Force” and “Cupcake Sprinkles” – they have the bestest top coats!

The heart is strong, but the fingers are weak.