Astros Nails

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I can be a baseball fan, just for one day.

There are few sports as boring as baseball, but as soon as I found out that my son’s Junior High School Band was invited to play the National Anthem, I got uncharacteristically excited. I don’t own any Astros gear, but I do have fingernails…

I don’t normally mix brands like this, but it was necessary to get the colors just right. I started with Sally Hansen Double Duty Base & Top Coat, followed by two coats of the brightest orange I own – Sally Hansen “Sweet Nectar”. I then painted a swipe pattern that my daughter had done on her own nails last week. I used Julep “Brigitte” for the white and Julep “Dyani” for the blue. I painted the swipes freehand, with the nail polish brush – so they are far from perfect. I wanted some stars, so I then topped with Sinful Colors “Star Studded”. The finishing touch was Glisten & Glow Top Coat.

Since I used the brushes from the nail polish bottle, there was far too much polish pooling in the edges, by my skin. Oh well.

I was gonna hold a baseball in the pic, but I couldn’t find one around the house. I used my mom’s opal egg instead. This might be my new nail pic thingy.

An Oldie, but Goodie

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I’m still reaching deep into my stash. I had gone for a pedicure last week and picked a bold turquoise shimmer by OPI (forgot to ask the name) and wanted to go full mermaid. (ALWAYS go full mermaid.)

I dug around and came back with Sally Hansen “Mermaid’s Tale”. I did a quick search on my site – last time I wore it was 3 years ago. That’s too long for this beauty.

This is two coats of “Mermaid’s Tale” over Sally Hansen Double Duty Base & Top Coat and under Glisten & Glow Top Coat. I don’t remember this polish pulling back from the tips of my nails so much – I am thinking it’s the base coat? Ugh, it’s annoying.

…and then I remembered a possible reason it’s been so long when I went to take the polish off yesterday. It took about 45 fucking minutes to take this polish off. 45. Fucking. Minutes. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat!

Sally Hansen 3D Design

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When it comes to nail decals – or anything that is supposed to stick to the nail, like nail wraps or even nail stamping – I am deeply skeptical. In trained hands, sure…but most are hard to get the hang of using. I was pleasantly surprised by Sally Hansen 3D Design Appliques. I picked the Floral design, but they also come in Geometric and Knit Sweater patterns. They were an absolute snap to use.

I started with Sally Hansen Double Duty Base & Top Coat and then a single coat of Sally Hansen “Hot Magenta”. (This bottle of “Hot Magenta” is one of my older polishes – the date on the bottle is 2008.) I then carefully peeled off the decals and placed them on my nails. I went in with another coat of “Hot Magenta”, topping with Glisten & Glow Top Coat. The results were amazing – the clear decals took the polish like a champ. They are mostly idiot proof, although I did manage to tear one of the decals. I was able to place the two pieces back together on my nail, so it wasn’t noticeable at all.

Each package comes with 16 decals for $7.99. (Why not 20, so I can get two full sets?) $7.99 is a bit pricey for one and a half manicures worth of decals, but it’s about the same as Jamberry wraps, which go for $15 each and provide 2-3 applications. I might get more of these if I can find them on sale somewhere…

Go Eagles! (AKA Fuck Tom Brady)

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Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t give a shit about the sportsball. The only interesting thing about the Super Bowl are the commercials…and that I can get away with eating an entire brick’s worth of queso by myself. I usually don’t even bother picking a team to root for…unless I can root against Tom Brady. This past week has been torture, with every media outlet continuously sucking his dick. Notwithstanding his despicable personal life, he’s a fucking cheater. What the fuck, America?

ANYWAY, stepping down off my soapbox to talk about my Philadelphia Eagles nails. Google told me that their team colors are midnight teal, silver and black. Hmmmm…of course I can make that happen.

I use Sinful Colors “Calypso” as my midnight teal. After Sinful Colors Base Coat, I did two coats of “Calypso” on my thumb, middle and pinky. I used Sinful Colors “Queen of Beauty” for the silver – two coats on my index finger. I tried a coat of Sinful Colors “Teal Midnight” on my ring finger, but it was much too sheer. I did a coat of Sinful Colors “JadeKat” and it was much better. I then went old school and busted out the crackle top coat – Sally Hansen “Star Burst”. I used a thin coat over my index and ring fingers and it crackled right up. For a finishing touch, I used a dotting tool to paint dots with “Queen of Beauty” on my middle finger and Sinful Colors “Black on Black” on my pinky. After topping then all with Glisten & Glow Top Coat, they all looked marvelous.

My only annoyance is that “Calypso” photographs so darkly – it looks black!

Go Eagles! Make Brady eat balls!

Hot Magenta

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After seeing Sally Hansen “Hot Magenta” on one nail, I had to see it on ALL my nails.

This is one of my oldest polishes, pre-dating this site and my current polish madness. It’s at least a decade old and the bottle is less than half full…but it’s still just as good as the day I brought it home. It’s a pearly hot pink, it matches everything.

I started with Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat, then two coats of “Hot Magenta”, then Glisten & Glow Top Coat. I also did my toes.

I thought I fixed the cuticle on my index finger, but it’s still looking a bit sketchy. Argh.

Fuck You, Albert

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As always, I’m a bit behind. Twin Peaks: The Return ended just a few weeks ago, but I can’t get the ending out of my head. It literally blew my mind – and yes, I am not incorrectly using the word “literally” instead of “metaphorically”. It’s a total mindfuck.

At the center of that mindfuck is my favorite new/old character in The Return, Diane Evans. Even though Diane was an integral part of the original series, as the unseen person on the other end of Coop’s trusty tape recorder, she was nothing like anyone expected. She was BETTER. Her answer to any line of inquiry was “Fuck you” – something that may be in my head, but she had the lady balls to say it. And then I saw her nails.

The first thing I did was chop them all to a demure, matching length. Then I dug DEEP into my polish stash to find matches…The thumb and pinky were easy – Sinful Colors “Black on Black”. The wine colored index was also easy – Pacifica “Red Red Wine”. I had the hardest time with my middle finger – after comparing half a dozen polishes, I finally decided on Color Club “Aquamarine Azulino” – it has a bit of a pearl to it, but not enough to make it distracting. I came across Sally Hansen “Hot Magenta” while digging – it’s an oldie, but goodie.

Two coats on each nail, sandwiched between Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat and Top Coat.

Ignore the mangled cuticle on my index finger – ugh, I’ll fix it with Vanish before the next polish.

Dressing Up

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I don’t really have many opportunities to “dress up”, unless you count my weekly trip to the grocery store. I attended a high school graduation over the weekend though, and wore an actual dress! Of course, my nails had to match.

The main color of the dress was a wine-like shade, but I decided to emphasize the olive green accent. After Sinful Colors Base Coat, I painted two coats of Deborah Lippmann “Defying Gravity”, from the Wicked Trio. I absolutely love this green. I used Sally Hansen “Rogue Red” in varying patterns for an accent. The triangular shards are reminiscent of the triangles on the dress – perfect! I finished off with “HK Girl”.

I absolutely adored this combination…this scorching summer demands MORE glitter.

Unicorn Nails

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Unicorn nails to go with my unicorn face.

I wasn’t intending on unicorn nails when I started – it just kind of happened.

I started with Sally Hansen Diamond Shine and followed with two coats of Funky Fingers “Oh Be One”. It’s a pearlescent white polish, similar to Sinful Colors “Tokyo Pearl”. A few brush strokes were unavoidable, but it wasn’t horrible. I topped with one and a half coats of Funky Fingers “Very Purpley”. The half coat was a random swipe of extra glitter down the middle of each nail. Why not? I finished with “HK Girl”.

I’m not looking forward to removing all this glitter…

Paradise Island

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Take me down to Paradise Island…where the…wait, that’s not how that song goes.

This is the polish from this month’s ipsy bagdefy & Inspire “Paradise Island”. I’ve never heard of this brand before – totally new to me. (I think they just started carrying it at Target.) It reminds me of the beach in Hawaii – just clear blue/green as far as the eye can see.

I started with Sally Hansen Diamond Shine – I like to mix it up sometimes. The first coat was ultra-streaky and I got nervous, but the second coat was as smooth as a dolphin’s ass. I finished with “HK Girl”. I was a bit miffed that the edges got so crinkly around my cuticles, but it’s not horrible.

Target Beauty Boxes – April 2017

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I skipped last month, but April’s boxes were so nice, I had to snag them both.

The box on the left is the “regular” box, which includes: La Roche-Posay Toleriane Purifying Foaming Cleanser (fancy); Sally Hansen Double-Duty Base & Top Coat (it’s not quick dry, so I doubt I’ll use it for anything but a base coat); HASK Argan Oil Repairing Deep Conditioner; Dr Teals Lavender Foaming Bath (I don’t have a bathtun!); eb5 Facial Cleanser (Yeah, more cleanser!); Rimmel Colour Precise White Eyeliner (this has me both excited AND scared – what crazy looks can I do with this?); and Banana Boat Dry Balance SPF 50 (ooooooh, matte sun protection).

The box on the right is the “natural”box, which includes: SheaMoisture Kukui Nut Facial Cream Cleanser + Face & Neck Cream; Juice Organics Deluxe-Size Volumizing Shampoo & Conditioner; Burt’s Bees White Tea Extract Facial Cleansing Towelettes (I hope these don’t burn like the other ones do); Hello Extra Whitening Pure Mint Flouride Toothpaste; Yes To Tomatoes Detoxifying Charcoal Mud Mask (So excited to try this); ACURE Pore Clarifying Red Clay Scrub; and Raw Sugar Lemon Sugar Body Wash.

Wow, both boxes are amazing!

Each box was $7 and came with a $3 off $15 coupon. 5% off with my Red Card, too!