Who the Fuck Steals Monkeys?

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Ever since I put on Julep “Suzanne”, I’ve had that song stuck in my head. What song? “Suzanne” by Weezer, of course. One of their best songs, but a lesser known song originating from the Mallrats soundtrack.

“Suzanne” is another gem from the Julep Mystery Boxes last summer. Described as scarlet with gold microshimmer, it was originally a part of the November 2015 Collection. It’s a warm red and you cannot really see the gold shimmer in the picture, but it’s there.

I started with Julep Oxygen Bonding Base Coat, two perfect smooth coats and then finished with “HK Girl”.

(Suzanne was the name of the monkey in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.)

Paradise Island

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Take me down to Paradise Island…where the…wait, that’s not how that song goes.

This is the polish from this month’s ipsy bagdefy & Inspire “Paradise Island”. I’ve never heard of this brand before – totally new to me. (I think they just started carrying it at Target.) It reminds me of the beach in Hawaii – just clear blue/green as far as the eye can see.

I started with Sally Hansen Diamond Shine – I like to mix it up sometimes. The first coat was ultra-streaky and I got nervous, but the second coat was as smooth as a dolphin’s ass. I finished with “HK Girl”. I was a bit miffed that the edges got so crinkly around my cuticles, but it’s not horrible.

Sephora Play! April 2017 – Step it Up

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Catching up this month…gonna finish all my subscription boxes in the right month!

“Step it Up” is April’s Sephora Play theme and includes products to take your beauty game to the next level. I’m excited to try the Kate Somerville ExfoliKate Intensive Exfoliator – I figure it will alternate well with the EradiKate I received a few weeks ago.

Also in this month’s smashing box: Peter Thomas Roth Water Drench Hyaluronic Cloud Cream; Sephora Waterproof Eye Makeup Remover (it separated in the bottle and my husband has been playing with it); Make Up For Ever Aqua XL Eye Pencil in “M-10” (why can’t they just say “black”); Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer; and Marc Jacobs Daisy.

What a bangin’ box!

If you haven’t signed up yet, get to it. This is by far the best subscription box I get every month. Sephora Play is only $10/month. You can sign up at sephora.com/play.

April Birchbox – Magic Inside

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Just one item led me to pick this month’s curated box. It was that new lipstick – Benefit Cosmetics They’re Real! Double the Lip in “Lusty Rose”. Mostly because I was skeptical – it’s just a two tone lipstick. It took some maneuvering to get it on my lips, while keeping the dark portion to the lip line. I repeatedly kept asking my husband if my lips looked bigger, fuller, plumper. Apparently, they looked the same. The lipstick is just plain old lipstick and didn’t make them look any different – just pink. I was correct to be skeptical. Boo.

Also in this month’s “Magic Inside” curated box: TOCCA Emelia Eau de Parfum (strong geranium scent, but not geriatric); Vasanti BrightenUp! New Skin Amplifying Moisturizer; Bumble and bumble. Don’t Blow It (gives volume to air dried hair – genius!); and derma e Purifying 2-in-1 Charcoal Mask (I love me some charcoal masks).

Great box this month, even if the lipstick doesn’t live up to the hype.

If you would like to try Birchbox, click on my referral link – https://www.birchbox.com/invite/5453f – I’ll get 50 points if you join.

April Ipsy Bag – Sideshow

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I literally SQUEALED when I opened this month’s ipsy bag and saw the Glamour Dolls x Lisa Frank Angle Blush Brush. Who didn’t have EVERYTHING Lisa Frank back in the 80s? So psyched to get a pre-release from this new collection!

Also in this month’s “Sideshow” bag”: H2O+ Beauty Keep It Fresh Cleanser (I am loving getting to try so many new cleansers); Luseta Beauty Volume Reviving Dry Shampoo in “Potpourri”; defy & Inspire Wear Resistant Nail Lacquer in “Paradise Island”; and ColourPop Cosmetics Crème Gel Pencil in “Show Me”vivid true copper (I was assuming this would be blue based on the color of the box, but I was wrong).

Is it me, or are ipsy bags getting WAY better?

If you’d like to try Ipsy – click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my link.

Pastel Rainbow Dotticure

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I was “inspired” by my friend Carrie to totally rip off the pastel rainbow dotticure she shared on Instagram a few weeks ago. Imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery, so….

I started off with Sinful Colors Base Coat and two coats of Sinful Colors “You Just Wait”. I forgot that even though it looks pink in the bottle, it’s green/gold on my nails. Eh…

Finding a “pastel” red was the hardest. I finally decided on Julep “Nan”. I followed with Julep “Mariska”, Sinful Colors “Otaku Anime”, Julep “Tatum”, Julep “Jeanne” and Julep “Paulette”. If I had the right yellow, I could’ve done ALL Julep.

I finished off with “HK Girl”. I’m really liking it! I need to do more dotticures.

Motherfucking Unicorn!

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I had JUST placed a big Ulta order, but I found myself placing another one, just a week later…because….

Ulta came out with a Rainbow Highlighter! I had actually gone to the store in person to buy it, but they didn’t have it yet, so I went ahead and placed an order online, to take advantage of the Buy 2, Get 2 Free sale.

In addition to the Rainbow Highlighter ($10), I also picked up the new Metallic Liquid Lipstick Kit ($16), the new Glitter Tears 3 Piece Eyeliner Set ($16) and a Skin Clearing Tool ($10) – yup, I’m gonna pop some pimples. I didn’t do the best job in picking products – I got the 2 $10 products for free, instead of going for higher priced items. Oh well. At least I was able to use a $5 off $15 coupon to counteract the shipping charge.

I also got a few free samples – bareMineral Skinsorials, with Pure Plush Gentle Deep Cleansing Foam, Skinlongevity Vital Power Infusion and Bare Haven Essential Moisturizing Soft Cream; and Lab Series Future Rescue Repair Serum.

The Metallic Liquid Lipstick Kit came with 3 mini Liquid Lipsticks, in “Athena” (metallic red), “Apollo” (metallic plum), and “Zeus” (gold). These lipsticks are vividly metallic – like amazing. My one complaint was that they don’t dry down completely – they stay a bit tacky and transfer a bit. Even so, they stay all day. I’m wearing “Zeus” in the look to the right.

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The Glitter Tears Eyeliner Set comes with 3 mini glitter eyeliners – “Galaxy”, “Comet” and “Solar” – I don’t remember which is which and they aren’t labeled. I’m pictured wearing the rose gold one.

That Rainbow Highlighter…it practically jumped onto my fan brush and then onto my face, staying in rainbow formation. Of course, my husband said I look like a deranged Easter Bunny, but what does he know?

I’m actually wearing ALL Ulta makeup in this pic. In addition to the Rainbow Highlighter, “Zeus” and rose gold glitter tears, I’m wearing Ulta Minerals Finishing Powder, the Ulta Eye Shadow/Mascara/Blush from the February Freebie bag and the Ultra Slim Brow Pencil.

Robin Eggs

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How’s this for an Easter Manicure? Robin eggs!

I started with Julep Oxygen Bonding Base Coat and then two coats of Julep “Cassidy” (Bondi blue creme). The blue wasn’t quite right – it’s not quite dusty enough…but it’s close. For the speckles, I used Funky Fingers “Varsity Blue”. Maybe robin eggs don’t have such shiny speckles, so instead of a shiny top coat, I used Zoya Velvet Matte Top Coat to mute some of that shine and sparkles.

Even though my nails wouldn’t exactly blend into Mama Robin’s nest, I’m quite happy with how they turned out.

Target Beauty Boxes – April 2017

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I skipped last month, but April’s boxes were so nice, I had to snag them both.

The box on the left is the “regular” box, which includes: La Roche-Posay Toleriane Purifying Foaming Cleanser (fancy); Sally Hansen Double-Duty Base & Top Coat (it’s not quick dry, so I doubt I’ll use it for anything but a base coat); HASK Argan Oil Repairing Deep Conditioner; Dr Teals Lavender Foaming Bath (I don’t have a bathtun!); eb5 Facial Cleanser (Yeah, more cleanser!); Rimmel Colour Precise White Eyeliner (this has me both excited AND scared – what crazy looks can I do with this?); and Banana Boat Dry Balance SPF 50 (ooooooh, matte sun protection).

The box on the right is the “natural”box, which includes: SheaMoisture Kukui Nut Facial Cream Cleanser + Face & Neck Cream; Juice Organics Deluxe-Size Volumizing Shampoo & Conditioner; Burt’s Bees White Tea Extract Facial Cleansing Towelettes (I hope these don’t burn like the other ones do); Hello Extra Whitening Pure Mint Flouride Toothpaste; Yes To Tomatoes Detoxifying Charcoal Mud Mask (So excited to try this); ACURE Pore Clarifying Red Clay Scrub; and Raw Sugar Lemon Sugar Body Wash.

Wow, both boxes are amazing!

Each box was $7 and came with a $3 off $15 coupon. 5% off with my Red Card, too!

The Return of Lunchtime Shopping

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Oh, Bath & Body Works…it’s been so long.

Even though I moved (and moved offices) 7-8 months ago, I haven’t taken advantage of the fact that I am now 5 minutes away from a Bath & Body Works again. I got an email on Wednesday that drew me in. Not only were Hand Soaps $3 each, but Shower Gels were $5 and I had a coupon for $10 off $30.

I was conservative and grabbed two Shower Gels“Waikiki Beach Coconut” and “White Citrus”. I grabbed 6 Hand Soaps, plus a new bath scrunchie. (You never know when a beetle will start living in your bath scrunchie.)

$23.27 – not bad.