Month: December 2014


She’s Dead – Wrapped in Plastic

Here it is – the first of the Twin Peaks polishes.

This is Hare Polish “Wrapped in Plastic”. The base is a translucent blue, the color of Laura Palmer’s skin. Inside the polish are white, aqua and iridescent gold glitter. The polish is a bit thick. I could have gone for a sheerer look and used one coat, but I had to go for two coats, so it got really thick around the edges. I got a few chips in less than 24 hours, but I was sloppy with the top coat, so it might not be the polish’s fault. I think it would also look fantastic with a matte top coat.

As usual, Orly Bonder on bottom and Sally Hansen Diamond Flash on top.

See the first collection HERE…and OMG, they just came out with a second Twin Peaks Collection HERE. I NEEEEED the Garmonbozia!


Xmas Present Round-up

I had a beauty-tastic Xmas!

My sister knows how much I love Betsey Johnson, so she got me a HUGE Betsey makeup bag with flowers and skulls. Inside the bag was an ionika paddle brush and a My Beauty Spot Perfect Eyebrow Design kit. I wonder if my husband will let me use the eyebrow set on him?

My BFF outdid herself this year. She got me the “Welcome to Twin Peaks” Set from Hare Polish. I had no idea this even existed!

The polishes are “The Owls are not What They Seem”, “Wrapped in Plastic”, “The Knockouts of the Double R”, “Damn Fine Coffee” & “The Red Room”.

I’ll be wearing one…or all of them – when we go to the Twin Peaks Festival next year!

Not only is my BFF enabling me, but now she’s enabling Lily. She gave Lily the OPI Coca Cola 10-pack of Style, which has 8 mini bottles of polish (“Coca-Cola Red”, “Today I Accomplished Zero”, “My Signature is DC”, “You’re So Vain-illa”, “Sorry I’m Fizzy Today”, “Get Cherried Away”, “Green on the Runway” & “A Grape Affair”), plus Nail Envy nail strengthener and Top Coat.

I asked her if I could borrow them and she said, “No – you have enough of your own polish.”

Thank you, thank you, thank you!


Review – Atelier Cologne Miniature Discovery Collection


First impressions are important when it comes to fragrances – perfumes smell different from person to person and may even change on an individual person throughout the day. I am far from a trained professional – I cannot identify top, heart or base notes in a scent. I can only reliably identify a few perfumes at first sniff and most fragrances give me a headache. Even so, here I am…reviewing perfume.

My memory is like a sieve (I blame the 90s), so I realized that the best way to capture my first impressions of a fragrance is to quickly jot down notes on the package with a Sharpie. Here are my “first impression” reviews of the Atelier Cologne Miniature Discovery Collection ($50, Sephora), ranked from best to last [later thoughts in brackets]:

1. Cedrat Enivrant – My favorite – like lime & cedar – drinking a Cuba Libre on the deck of a pirate ship; The one that started it all…

2. Rose Anonyme – The inside of a long forgotten perfume atomizer; a love long dead, but not forgotten; Classic, a note of decay [It also reminded me of a months old bouquet of roses – I LOVE that smell]

3. Orange Sanguine – That first spray of citrus when you peel off the skin…Sharp

4. Vetiver Fatal – Most masculine; Hot sex on the forest floor – in a pile of pine needles

5. Vanille Insensee – Like a stripper, but a french, classy one; Burlesque [Later that day, I felt like I smelled like I applied Vanilla Extract to my pulse points]

These fragrances ALL lasted all day on me, which is rare. The Sephoras here do not carry in store and I’m too lazy to drive an hour to sample more of their scents at Neiman Marcus. Another option I may try is to order sample vials from their website – you can get all 17 for $25.



Noir Mi Amor


This is THE best PixieDust from Zoya – “Noir” Ultra PixieDust.

Zoya describes it as deep, vampy plum textured PixieDust with red Mega Hex particles…but I say it’s FUCHSIA.

Instead of starting with a naked nail, I started with a coat of Orly Bonder. It didn’t do shit, because after a round of pots & pans, I have significant edge wear on my right hand. Oh well, I was going to repaint tomorrow anyway.

C’est la vie.


Xmas Tree Nail Art


Finally! I finally ventured into the world of nail art…

I decided to start with simple Xmas trees. After Orly Bonder, I started with one coat of Nicole by OPI “On a Gilt Trip”. I then used my largest dotting tool to create trees with Julep “Priscilla” – Emerald for May. I used a smaller dotting tool to create ornaments with Julep “Oscar” and Funky Fingers “Red Ryder”. I painted a thin layer of Sally Hansen Diamond Flash over JUST the trees to maintain the matte finish of “On a Gilt Trip”.

It didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would…just 30 minutes or so. They’re not perfect, but they’re pretty darn cute if I do say so myself.


A Julep Gift…for Myself


A few weeks ago, Julep was doing daily specials and one day, they had a gift box with any three polishes for $19.99. That’s a great deal…but the 30% off coupon code in my last Julep Box made it even better – $13.99 for 3 polishes.

I got “Serena” – Sapphire for September, “Julie” – Pink Tourmaline for October, and “Joni” – Citrine for November.

I am trying to finish off the Birthstone Collection, but the site is totally sold out of “Savannah” – Topaz for December. I hope it comes back soon…


Snowpocalypse Nails

I’m back! I spent a few days over at my sister’s house, while she she was giving birth to a little Xmas Elf.

I originally intended this to just be a background for some Xmas Tree nail art…I had ambitious intentions…but alas, I ran out of time on Sunday night. After Orly Bonder, I did 2 coats of Sinful Colors “Cinderella”, one coat of Funky Fingers “Elsa” (There are snowflakes in “Elsa”, but I didn’t manage to get a single one out of the bottle) and one coat of Sally Hansen Diamond Flash.

I was still hoping to add some nail art on top of it…until I busted the nail on my middle finger last night. FUUUUUDGE!


Merry Xmas to Me: Part Deux

Ostensibly, I only went to Ulta yesterday to pick up one thing. Zoya recently announced that they are retiring ALL of their Pixie Dusts. Even though they are BOGO on their site right now, I didn’t feel like buying enough ($55) to qualify for free shipping. So I figured I could use my $5 off $10 coupon to make my own BOGO. The only Pixie Dust I really HAD to have was Zoya “Noir” – a black and fuchsia mix.

But then I remembered that my sister has been repeatedly recommending the Freeman Beauty “Black Sugar & Charcoal” Mask/Scrub. Wouldn’t you know that they’re BOGO right now? So I also picked up the “Dead Sea Minerals” Clay Mask. But as I was walking around, I was the Ultra Chi Holiday Display…

I made an executive decision to put my husband out of his misery and complete his Xmas shopping for him. Normally listed at $149.95, the Holiday Ultra Chi Tourmaline Flat Irons were $99.95. With another 20% off coupon, that’s $79.96. I know the holiday irons will go on sale after Xmas for $79.95 anyway, so why not buy it now? I also had a $10 rebate debit card from buying heartworm pills – thanks Dottie!

They even had one that perfectly matches my car! The box says Magenta, but whatever. It also came with a free Rose Gold carrying case. Nice.

I didn’t even bother wrapping it – I brought it to my BFF’s last night and had Loo show me how to use it. I looked like Donna from “That 70s Show”. It made my hair straight, so I guess it worked!


Review – Dr. Jart+ BB Dis-A-Pore Beauty Balm


In a perfect world, I would have enough time to do an in-depth review of every product that comes into my possession. Alas, I work full-time, have two kids…and am fairly fucking lazy. But it’s Xmas vacation and I have the luxury of a little extra time…

My bud Sterin asked for a review of a sample I received in a Sephora shipment – Dr. Jart+ BB Dis-A-Pore Beauty Balm. I received a single use (barely) packet. It retails for $36 (1.7 fl. oz.). According to Sephora, it only comes in one shade – fair to light. Racist much, Dr. Jart?

Application was simple – it was fairly easy to smooth on with my fingers. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked like Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. My face was uniformly the same color (admittedly the purpose of foundation), but it seemed to accentuate my pores instead of hide them. It just looked like I was wearing makeup. Lily had Gymnastics, so I didn’t have time to start over – I figured I could wash my face and start over when we got back, before going to a dinner party that night.

Fast forward several hours. After running errands, doing chores around the house and then fucking around all day, I didn’t feel like redoing my makeup. I just slapped on more powder (Physician’s Formula Mineral Powder is my go-to). I figured my BFF would forgive my for looking like a cyborg as we exchanged Xmas gifts. Then a funny thing happened…she was snapping pictures of our shenanigans all night. When she uploaded the pics to her computer, I was stunned to find that my skin looked absolutely STUNNING and FLAWLESS. Well…I wasn’t expecting that.

So, long story short, this is a product for very white people only. Although you may look like a cyborg in person, it photographs very well and has 12 hour plus staying power. I don’t foresee purchasing this product in the future, but if I get another sample, I may use it if I know a lot of pictures will be taken.



Influenster Vox Box – Frosty Vox Box


I finally qualified for an Influenster Vox Box! That golden moment when you have just the right demographics and the Influenster gods shine down on you and send you box full of fun stuff to test out – complimentary, for testing purposes, of course.

Inside my Frosty Vox Box: Boots No 7 Protect & Perfect Intense Advanced Serum (I had gotten a sample in my Target Beauty Box and used it last night – what a coinkidink); NYC Expert Last Lip Color in “Sugar Plum”; Celestial Seasonings Candy Cane Lane Decaf Green Tea (This will go to Logan); EcoTools Sleek + Shine Finisher Hair Brush (Excited!); Rimmel Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal Eyeliner in “Black” and Gentle Eyes Makeup Remover (Yay! I am almost out of my Ulta Makeup Remover); McCormick Gourmet Thyme (This will go to my husband); and Fruit Vines Bites in “Cherry” (These will go to Lily).

This box has something for everyone! I can’t wait to dig in…

Check out Influenster for yourself…