Smouldrin’ Cauldron

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Not this past weekend, but the weekend before, I found myself in a rural Walmart after a family breakfast. While filling my cart with cheap Xmas decorations, I couldn’t resist throwing a few Halloween nail polishes into my basket as well…

This is Pure Ice “Smouldrin’ Cauldron”. It’s a gray jelly, with dark blue glitter and iridescent flakies. This is three thick coats, sandwiched between Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat and Glisten & Glow Top Coat. Even with a thick layer of top coat, it was scratchy and jagged – I kept snagging my nails on things.

Yes, these polishes are just $1.98, but they aren’t anywhere near as good as Sinful Colors. They are goopy, take forever to dry and chip quickly. I wore this polish for less than 24 hours before I had to scrub it off. Yuck.

Pumpkin Spice Everything

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It’s that time of year again…Halloween Nails!

I’ve been wearing my “Pumpkin Spice Everything” shirt every chance I get, so I decided that my nails should match. I’m not even that big of a Pumpkin Spice fan, but I have some psychological problem that makes me buy every Pumpkin Spice product that I see. Just this weekend, I bought Pumpkin Spice Cheerios, Pumpkin Spice Pop-Tarts and Pumpkin Spice Nutrigrain Bars. Something is really wrong with me. (Although I did eat the Nutrigrain bar as a snack today and it was fucking delicious.)

I created my own personal Pumpkin Spice on my fingernails. I started with Sinful Colors Base Coat and I borrowed Sinful Colors “Courtney Orange” from my daughter. After two coats of the orange, I did the tips with…wait for it…Sinful Colors “Pumpkin Spice”. I finished with Glisten & Glow Top Coat.

I also did my toes with “Courtney Orange”, but no “Pumpkin Spice”.

Lina

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Julep “Lina” is a blinding white gold metallic. It would look so much better than someone not as pasty white as me. But it still looks pretty damn good, if I do say so myself…

I was afraid that it would be a sheer shimmer, but it ended up being full coverage. I love full coverage metallic polishes. This is two coats of “Lina” over Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat and under Glisten & Glow Top Coat.

The polish was fairly long lasting, but it couldn’t stand up to planting 72 spinach plants this morning. We’re going to have spinach for daysssss…

Undead Red

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Now THIS is a matte polish.

Or is it? It’s a bit shiny for a matte polish…but there’s a sticker on it that CLEARLY says “Vampy Matte”. Maybe “Vampy Matte” means not really that matte?

Regardless, Sinful Colors “Undead Red” is a helluva polish. It’s a matte-ish red glitter with black flakies. This is two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat and NO top coat. It’s so deep and beautiful and I can’t stop looking at it. It was so much tougher than that Basketball polish. Yes, it did eventually chip after 3-4 days, but certainly not within 12 hours!

And look at my cuticle! It looks normal now…squeeeeee!

I Wish I Was a Baller

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One time, in High School, I was skulking around one of the lame after-Football dances, and I was approached by an (obviously new) coach…she tried to draft me onto the Basketball team. Blissfully unaware of my 7th and 8th grade B-team failures, she gave me the whole spiel – as I imagine, my peers thrashed about to ‘The Humpty Dance’ or did ‘Da Butt’. I laughed it off and probably went behind the building to smoke or set anthills on fire or whatever it was that I did at school dances. I surely didn’t dance.

I don’t know what the point of this story is, except that my entire life, my height has attracted and repelled like some kind of magnetic north on a compass. Too tall for the boys, too majestically awkward for sports and DEFINITELY too tall for the stage. Once, I got mistaken for a Drag Queen at The Village. That was one of the fucking proudest moments of my life…so it’s not ALL bad.

I kind of got off course a little bit. ANYWAY, Formula X “Motivated” reminds me of a basketball. It’s a matte metallic orange and I don’t even hate the orange-ness. I do absolutely HATE this polish though, almost as much as I hated playing Basketball. Even though I started with Glisten & Glow Base Coat, this stuff did not want to stay on my nails. This is THREE thick coats and it still started cracking like a crackle polish. In less than 12 hours, it was chipping off my nails in chunks. What the fuck, Sephora?

Hana

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Dupe Alert! Julep “Hana” is a pretty close dupe for Sinful Colors “Readie or Not”, which I tried out just a month ago. I’m not even mad though – I love purpley polishes.

Julep “Hana” was the first polish I’ve sampled from this month’s Julep box. I was under the impression that it would be lighter and more rosy from the bottle, but nope.

This is two coats over Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat and under Glisten & Glow Top Coat.

I thought that the cuticle on my index finger was looking better, but it’s not. I need to put some oil on it or something.

Hot Magenta

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After seeing Sally Hansen “Hot Magenta” on one nail, I had to see it on ALL my nails.

This is one of my oldest polishes, pre-dating this site and my current polish madness. It’s at least a decade old and the bottle is less than half full…but it’s still just as good as the day I brought it home. It’s a pearly hot pink, it matches everything.

I started with Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat, then two coats of “Hot Magenta”, then Glisten & Glow Top Coat. I also did my toes.

I thought I fixed the cuticle on my index finger, but it’s still looking a bit sketchy. Argh.

Fuck You, Albert

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As always, I’m a bit behind. Twin Peaks: The Return ended just a few weeks ago, but I can’t get the ending out of my head. It literally blew my mind – and yes, I am not incorrectly using the word “literally” instead of “metaphorically”. It’s a total mindfuck.

At the center of that mindfuck is my favorite new/old character in The Return, Diane Evans. Even though Diane was an integral part of the original series, as the unseen person on the other end of Coop’s trusty tape recorder, she was nothing like anyone expected. She was BETTER. Her answer to any line of inquiry was “Fuck you” – something that may be in my head, but she had the lady balls to say it. And then I saw her nails.

The first thing I did was chop them all to a demure, matching length. Then I dug DEEP into my polish stash to find matches…The thumb and pinky were easy – Sinful Colors “Black on Black”. The wine colored index was also easy – Pacifica “Red Red Wine”. I had the hardest time with my middle finger – after comparing half a dozen polishes, I finally decided on Color Club “Aquamarine Azulino” – it has a bit of a pearl to it, but not enough to make it distracting. I came across Sally Hansen “Hot Magenta” while digging – it’s an oldie, but goodie.

Two coats on each nail, sandwiched between Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat and Top Coat.

Ignore the mangled cuticle on my index finger – ugh, I’ll fix it with Vanish before the next polish.

Let Your Twilight Sparkle

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Sure, I bought it for Lily…but I knew that she would insist that I borrow it.

I am fascinated by her China Glaze My Little Pony “Let Your Twilight Sparkle” nail polish. It’s truly the most unicorn-y nail polish I’ve ever found. It’s a shifting blue/purple/iridescent shimmer.

I tried out my other new base coat – Glisten & Glow Base Coat. It has a bit of stick to it, although not quite as sticky as Orly Bonder. It stuck to the polish like glue. This is two coats of “Let Your Twilight Sparkle” – still very sheer, but lots of glimmer. I finished with Glisten & Glow Top Coat.

The two coats are very thin, since Lily has used this polish so much in the past two weeks that the little mini bottle is almost empty! She’s used it on her fingers and toes several times, then taken it to my sister’s and done her cousins with it, too. She is demanding a full size bottle…

I went ahead and put bottle in my Ulta shopping cart, so I don’t forget. It’s only $7.50, so not too ridiculous. I might pick up a few of the other shimmers in this collection – there’s a red one!

Find True Love

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Mostly, I use Sinful Colors and Julep nail polishes…except when I don’t.

I decided to dig deeper into my box of untried polishes…and settled on a simple red – Makeup Revolution “Find True Love”. It’s a creamy, sweet chili pepper red – no VNL!

I tried out my new Glisten & Glow Ridge Filling Base Coat. It seems very similar to the Sinful Colors Base Coat – it’s a milky white liquid that dries mostly clear. It does make the nails quite smooth. The Base Coat seemed to work well with the polish – no bubbles or streaks. This is two coats of “Find True Love”, topped with Glisten & Glow Top Coat.

I’m happy with this base coat, but the real test will be how it works with Julep…