Worst. Polish. EVER.

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I’m not even kidding. Essie “Belugaria” is literally the worst polish EVER. Words cannot describe how awful this polish is…but I’m going to try to explain.

My first hint should have been the fact that it was $2.12. I’ve never seen an essie that cheap. This poor sad polish had been sitting at Walgreen’s for three fucking years. Seriously…NO ONE wanted this polish. Then I googled and saw that it came out in the Winter 2013 collection. But I made the mistake of taking it home with me.

Why is this polish so horrible? First…the bottle lied to me. I thought it was a black jelly with glitter…but NOOOOOO. It’s textured, which would be great if it was fine textured like “Sugar High” or if it was chunkier like one of the Zoya Pixie Dusts AND had visual interest. Nope – it was chunky as fuck and MATTE black with just a few holo hex glitters thrown in. Seriously, it was like spreading sugar scrub on my nails. After Orly Bonder, The first coat wasn’t too bad…thick and goopy, but not quite full coverage. My mistake was going for the second coat. It didn’t spread – it just made little mountains on my nails.

Although it dried quickly, the formula chipped easily. The first time I washed my hands – BOOM, half my nails were chipped to fuck. To be fair, this is a common problem with textured polishes, but this one is the most fragile I’ve ever tried.

Worst of all…it damaged my cooter. This might be TMI…but I feel like I need to make a public service announcement. This stuff is so sharp that it cut through several layers of toilet paper and scratched me. No blood…but a close call, nonetheless. Don’t worry, I took it off as soon as I got home from work.

Remember…just say NO to “Belugaria”.

6 Walgreen’s Trips

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I’ve been waiting for Walgreen’s to have another Sinful Colors sale…this week, they brought back the 2/$3 sale, which is NOT the same as $1.50 each.

There were just 2 polishes I wanted – “Let Me Flamingo” and “Bye Felicia!” – mostly because of the names. It should be simple, enough, right?

On Wednesday, I ran to the Walgreen’s by my work during lunch…couldn’t find either.

There was another Walgreen’s 10 minutes away, so I checked there, too. It was one of those fancy Walgreen’s with the upgraded beauty section…again, nothing. They even had the PRIDE display that “Bye Felicia!” – but none of the PRIDE polishes. Oh well, back to work.

On Thursday, I took my daughter to the Orthodontist and hit the Walgreen’s there. (There really ARE Walgreen’s everywhere.) Success as I found “Let Me Flamingo”, but no “Bye Felicia!” Lily wanted some polish, too. She picked out “Forever Pink”, “No FIlter” and “Curry Up” (which was on surprise clearance for 49 cents). She even paid for them herself!

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After dropping Lily off, I hit two more Walgreen’s on my way to work. Still…no “Bye Felicia!”, although I did find a clearance essie “Belugaria” for $2.12 at the last one. A small win…

Flash forward to today. After Lily’s gymnastics class, I decided to run into Walgreen’s (yes, the SIXTH one) to look for Coconut Water. Sally has been raving about it and sampled three different kinds…unfortunately, Walgreen’s only had the worst one – Vita Coco. I grabbed it and the Delish (store brand). I agree with her assessment of the Vita Coco – thick and a bit oily, but still not bad. I have high hopes for the Delish, since the label doesn’t list any added sugars. I’m not a convert yet…there’s a possibility that it gives me the trots…not that it takes much.

ANYWAY, this Walgreen’s also had my beloved “Bye Felicia!” in all it’s yellow glory. YASSSSS BITCH. I also picked up “Vacation Time”, because DUH. Lily had to get more polish, too – “Cloud 9” (another surprise 49 cent clearance) and “GoGo Boy”. She’s a chip off of the old block.

I’m done for real now…although I know where a 7th and 8th Walgreen’s are…

Sassy Classy

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I told you I was gonna try this with silver glitter.

I used Sinful Colors Base Coat, which I feel worked better than Orly Bonder for this particular polish. After two coats of essie “Strut Your Stuff”, I used Sinful Colors “Queen of Beauty” to create a gradient on the tips. It’s so shiny and beautiful and summery – everything I thought it would be.

i even did my toes (no glitter – glitter on toes is no bueno), so I can match Rachel when we go to the beach in a few weeks.

Diamonds and Pearls

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After a brief detour, I’m back to Prince.

I created Diamonds and Pearls with two of my favorite polishes. After Sinful Colors Base Coat, I did two coats of Sinful Colors “Tokyo Pearl”. “Tokyo Pearl” is a difficult polish to work with – every brush stroke shows and you must be very careful. I topped it with essie luxeffects “Set in Stones”. Finishing move was “HK Girl”.

The silver glitter in “Set in Stones” makes the white pearl of “Tokyo Pearl” appear silver. First it turns gold and now this – it’s a chameleon polish.

Company Blue

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Another 97 cent polish…this one is essie “Strut Your Stuff” – a bright turquoise blue creme.

I decided to mix it up and start with Orly Bonder. The first coat had a few streaks, but two coats were perfect. I’m getting better with cremes – as long as I keep it from pooling around the edges, I’ve been able to avoid the crusties. I topped with “HK Girl”, which dragged a few bald spots. Luckily, they were all on my right hand.

I’d like to see this color with a silver glitter gradient – that would be luxurious.

This blue is the same exact blue as my employer’s logo. I bet I could stick my fingers in a Pantone machine and get a trademark warning…

Ulta…Note?

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Ulta gives out unique coupon codes for their spring 20% off, so I didn’t have a cute name for this post…Instead of one or two big things, I bought a lot of little stuff. I also bought some gifts for another upcoming birthday, so those items are not shown, of course.

I can’t pass up 97 cent polishes, so the first thing I added to my cart were essie “Strut Your Stuff” and China Glaze “Long Kiss”. I then added two Freeman Beauty Masks – “Sweet Tea & Lemon Peel-Away Clay Mask” and “Apple Cider Vinegar 4-in-1 Foaming Clay”. I wanted to try another shade of Makeup Revolution Lip Euphoria, so I got “Aura”. I added another Zoya Remove+ for shits and giggles.

There were so many gifts with purchase last week! I got free Redken pack with Beach Envy Volume Texturizing Shampoo & Conditioner, Beach Envy Wave Aid and 25 Benefits One United Multi-Benefit Treatment (I have a full size of this that I use all the time). I also got a free Ahava pack with Dead Sea Crystal Osmoter Facial Serum (the fuck?), Time to Clear Purifying Mud Mask, Time to Hydrate Essential Day Moisturizer, Dead Sea Water Mineral Body Lotion, and a free tote bag. By far, the best samples were in the free Smashbox bag, which came with all this: Ahava Beauty Before Age Uplift Day and Uplift Night Cream, Parissa Brow Shaper Mini Wax Strips (I don’t have eyebrows, but I have a mustache – wonder if it will work?), pür Correcting Primer, Hampton Sun Sunless Tanning Gel (NO), Estee Lauder Modern Muse Le Rouge (me likey), Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue (me no likey), MyChelle Dermaceuticals Refining Sugar Cleanser, Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer (for real), StriVectin Advanced Retinol Intensive Night Moisturizer, It’s a 10 Miracle Leave-In Product, LORAC POREfection Mattifying Face Primer and Benefit Benetint.

Oh ya, also samples of Benefit Dew the Hoola Bronzer and Urban Decay Naked Skin Ultra Definition Powder Foundation.

Phew…my fingers are TIRED.

I Declare Shenanigans!

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I declare shenanigans!

My nails didn’t turn out the way I expected AT ALL.

My final nails of Green Week were full of surprises.

The first surprise was Sinful Colors “San Francisco” – I thought it would be a creamy emerald green from the bottle, but it turned out to be a kelly green shimmery jelly.

It’s very sheer after one coat and still a bit sheer after two coats.

This is two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat. I decided to leave it at two coats – even after with the visible nail line.

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The second surprise was what essie luxeffects “Set in Stones” did over “San Francisco” – it turned gold! Maybe the yellow pigment in the green polish leached into the silver glitter? Or more likely, it’s just the reflection coming off the green. Either way – I wanted SILVER glitter to match my shirt! Shenanigans! (Top Coat is “HK Girl”, of course.)

My shenanigans are in silver sequins, not gold…argh…

Oh well, maybe I’ll get it right next year.

Go Broncos?

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Obviously, the Broncos won because of my nails. Obviously.

I was happy to have a reason to use my “Horses” Jamberry Wraps – so I chose orange and blue to go with them. The orange is Julep “Mariska” and the blue is Sinful Colors “Endless Blue”. To jazz them up, I used essie Luxeffects “Set in Stones” and “Summit of Style” – but honestly, I can’t tell which is which. I used Sinful Colors Base Coat and “HK Girl” to start and finish my nails.

 

Black Gold

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Black gold…Texas tea…

I was afraid this combination would look trashy, but it turned out fairly classy. After Sinful Colors Base Coat, I painted two coats of Maybelline Color Show “Twilight Rays” on each nail. “Twilight Rays” is black with a strong gold shimmer. I thought it would be more subtle, but it is really striking. I used essie Luxeffects “Summit of Style” to accent my thumb and ringfinger – I got it on clearance at HEB yesterday for $4.22! This is just one coat of “Summit of Style” – I think I could get full coverage in two, maybe three coats. I sealed the deal with “HK Girl”.

It’s funny how essie “Set in Stones” is blindingly blingy, yet “Summit of Style” is more understated – more like gold jewelry instead of diamonds. My luxeffects collection is almost complete…

The Lace is On

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Okay, I promise – this is the last one tonight.

Lily was again kind enough to let me borrow one of her polishes. This is essie “The Lace is On”, a polish I bought her a while back at Nordstrom Rack for $2.75. (She didn’t have to ask but once – it’s a lovely fuchsia.) The formula is perfect – 2 coats, no clumps or streaks.

I’m trying to use up all my random base coats, so I used Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat. I stuck with “HK Girl” for the top coat though – I use my other top coats on Lily – she chews off her polish within 48 hours, so it doesn’t really matter.