I Wish I Was a Baller

A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on

One time, in High School, I was skulking around one of the lame after-Football dances, and I was approached by an (obviously new) coach…she tried to draft me onto the Basketball team. Blissfully unaware of my 7th and 8th grade B-team failures, she gave me the whole spiel – as I imagine, my peers thrashed about to ‘The Humpty Dance’ or did ‘Da Butt’. I laughed it off and probably went behind the building to smoke or set anthills on fire or whatever it was that I did at school dances. I surely didn’t dance.

I don’t know what the point of this story is, except that my entire life, my height has attracted and repelled like some kind of magnetic north on a compass. Too tall for the boys, too majestically awkward for sports and DEFINITELY too tall for the stage. Once, I got mistaken for a Drag Queen at The Village. That was one of the fucking proudest moments of my life…so it’s not ALL bad.

I kind of got off course a little bit. ANYWAY, Formula X “Motivated” reminds me of a basketball. It’s a matte metallic orange and I don’t even hate the orange-ness. I do absolutely HATE this polish though, almost as much as I hated playing Basketball. Even though I started with Glisten & Glow Base Coat, this stuff did not want to stay on my nails. This is THREE thick coats and it still started cracking like a crackle polish. In less than 12 hours, it was chipping off my nails in chunks. What the fuck, Sephora?

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