I Wish I Was a Baller

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One time, in High School, I was skulking around one of the lame after-Football dances, and I was approached by an (obviously new) coach…she tried to draft me onto the Basketball team. Blissfully unaware of my 7th and 8th grade B-team failures, she gave me the whole spiel – as I imagine, my peers thrashed about to ‘The Humpty Dance’ or did ‘Da Butt’. I laughed it off and probably went behind the building to smoke or set anthills on fire or whatever it was that I did at school dances. I surely didn’t dance.

I don’t know what the point of this story is, except that my entire life, my height has attracted and repelled like some kind of magnetic north on a compass. Too tall for the boys, too majestically awkward for sports and DEFINITELY too tall for the stage. Once, I got mistaken for a Drag Queen at The Village. That was one of the fucking proudest moments of my life…so it’s not ALL bad.

I kind of got off course a little bit. ANYWAY, Formula X “Motivated” reminds me of a basketball. It’s a matte metallic orange and I don’t even hate the orange-ness. I do absolutely HATE this polish though, almost as much as I hated playing Basketball. Even though I started with Glisten & Glow Base Coat, this stuff did not want to stay on my nails. This is THREE thick coats and it still started cracking like a crackle polish. In less than 12 hours, it was chipping off my nails in chunks. What the fuck, Sephora?

Impeccable

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Impeccable, which means…not peccable? Peccable is a real word, although rarely used – at least when compared to its antonym, Impeccable. Peccable means “capable of sinning”, the opposite of which is not exactly how Impeccable is usually used today. In context, it is more likely to be interchangeable with flawless or faultless. ANYWAY…this brief lesson in etymology leads into my description of Formula X “Impeccable” – it’s a dusty blush nude, innocent and incapable of sin.

I am much happier with the shiny Formula X formulas than the mattes or glitters. This is two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat and “HK Girl”. It’s a medium consistency polish, but very full coverage without being chalky.

I need to try “Impeccable” with a gold glitter.

Serenity Now

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Argh, matte polishes can be so frustrating.

Formula X “Serenity” is a glitter matte, but it’s kind of chunky – not smooth. It’s got purple glitter in a black matte base. It’s only slightly gritty, not a full sand polish like Zoya’s Pixie Dusts. It’s just weird. This is two coats over Sinful Colors Base Coat. It dried quickly and did not dent, but the finish was just weird looking.

Oh…and it did not last for shit. I spent Sunday morning taping off the trim in my living room to continue painting my Island Oasis…and it was gone.

At least it was only $2.

Discovery

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Formula X “Discovery” is the next polish I grabbed from last week’s haul.

“Discovery” is a peacock blue metallic matte polish. I had high hopes for this polish, but my hopes were shattered as I began applying over Sinful Colors Base Coat. It began drying the moment it hit my nails – too fast! It began streaking and cracking like a shatter polish – oh no! The second coat smoothed out some of the streaks, but there were several deep crevices that would not smooth out. Luckily, the worst ones were on my RIGHT hand.

So I managed to smooth out my nails with 2-3 coats, depending on the streaks. It did indeed dry quickly and was hard as a rock – no sheet imprints, so there’s that. But “Discovery” began chipping immediately. Boo. And then I decided to wash a saucepan. Well fuck, my nails are destroyed now.

The color is amazing, but the formula…not so much. Application is difficult and uneven. It does not have good staying power. I wonder if a different base coat would help?

Knockout

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Damn right that Formula X “Knockout” was the first one I grabbed from my new box – it’s a fucking knockout!

I’ve been in a pink mood lately, so I decided that I wanted a hot pink on my toes for vacation. If I was gonna do my toes, my fingers ought to match – for a few days at least. “Knockout” is pure fire, the hottest of the hot pink. It’s not just a pink creme – there’s a flash of blue in this hot pink.

I started with Sinful Colors Base Coat and got full coverage in just two coats of “Knockout”. I topped with “HK Girl”.

Did you notice that I chopped my nails down to nubs again? They were long and strong, except for the broken middle finger…so I went ahead and cut them all to match. Boo.

I’ve got to say, this polish lasts and lasts, even with non-matching brands of base coat and top coat. I put it on Sunday night and it’s still going strong on Thursday. Noice!

Two Sephora Orders are Better Than One

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Midnight, Saturday before last (the day of the VIB Fall Preview Event)…lounging on the couch, watching a Snapped marathon, like ya do…and I see a note on Nouveau Cheap that Sephora had just listed ALL their Formula X polishes on clearance for $2 each. This is not a drill!

I placed a conservative order of just 7 polishes: “Knockout” (hot pink with a flash of blue); “Impeccable” (peachy taupe); “Motivated” (metallic mandarin); “Blazing” (shimmery maroon); “Prismatic” (glittery turquoise); “Discovery” (metallic aqua); and “Serenity” (purple glitter in a black base). See – very conservative.

For samples, I received Dior Backstage Pros with Dior Addict Lip Maximizer in “Pink”, Lip Glow in “Pink” and a tiny lip brush; Living proof. Perfect hair Day Shampoo & Conditioner; and belif The true cream – Moisturizing bomb. (What is it with these brands and their random-ass capitalization???)

Little did I know…that my Event Shopping Trip that very same day would re-qualify me for Beauty Insider Status in 2018 and a 10% code would be waiting for me in my email…

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So on Tuesday, I ended up placing another order using that 10% code. My order was necessitated by the launch of the Kat von D “Lolita” Eye Shadow & Blush ($19) – I had to have it. It’s everything I hoped it would be – a perfect match to the lipstick and super-pigmented.

It would be a waste to use that code on a single shadow…so I browsed the sale page and saw that the UD Basquiat Collection was all on sale, as well as the tarte Make Believe in Yourself Collection…Decisions, decisions. After reading several reviews, I decided on the tarte Make Believe in Yourself Eye & Cheek Palette ($30, down from $40). I’ve never tried tarte shadows and the reviews on this palette are good. I tried it out this morning and the shadows ARE creamy, with no fallout. They blend like BUTTAH. I also grabbed Limited Edition Tarteist Quick Dry Matte Lip Paint in “Festival” ($16, down from $18) from the same collection. It’s a light matte mauve, lighter than I expected.

I used 100 points to get a mini Kat von D Everlasting Lip Liquid in “Lovesick” – pretty sure I don’t have that one. For my samples, I got L’Occitane Creme Divine, Dior Miss Dior Absolutely Blooming and Kate Somerville Goat Milk Moisturizing Cream. Bahhhhhhh!

Only $478 left…I can do it!

Obsessed

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I am obsessed with Formula X “Obsessed”. I have so, so many dark red/wine colored polishes, but “Obsessed” is the best BY FAR. Urban Decay “Mrs. Mia Wallace” is good, but not as deep. Pacifica “Red Red Wine” is also very similar, but has more of a crusty edge when it dries. “Obsessed” is perfect though – no bubbles, no streaks, just shine. To be fair, they would be very, very hard to tell apart…to the untrained eye.

I applied two coats between Sinful Colors Base Coat and “HK Girl”.

OH! I cut my nails  pretty short. The nails on my left hand were all long and strong, but I recently had to cut several on my right hand, due to peeling. I cut my right hand first and was going to leave my left hand long for pictures, but that just felt too weird to have one hand with short nails and one hand with long nails.

I used 100 Sephora Points to get this polish, so does that mean it technically cost $100?

Zap Zap Zap

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So…I finally broke down and ordered a laser to zap my bikini line. (I had gotten it done at Sona MedSpa a few years ago, but I figured buying a home laser would be cheaper than paying for touch-ups.) Sephora had the Tria Hair Removal Laser 4X on sale for $399, so I jumped on that deal – they’re usually $449, even on Amazon. So I managed to get a sale price, while guaranteeing at least VIB status for 2017. I’m looking forward to zapping my privates later…

For freebies, I chose boscia Detoxifying Black Cleanser, Kate Somerville ExfoliKate Intensive Exfoliating Treatment and Fresh Black Tea Age-Delay Cream. I also used a code for a fresh deluxe sample of Fresh Soy Face Cleanser. I even used some of the points I’d been hoarding to get Formula X Nail Color in “Obsessed” and more belif – The True Cream Moisturizing Bomb – I love that stuff!

Oh, I was slightly kicking myself when I got my zulily email this morning and one of the deals was the Tria 4X for $389…But I quickly got over it when I remembered my Sephora status – definitely worth the extra $10.

Bela Lugosi’s Dead

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Now that Xmas is over-ish, back to the grind…OK, not a grind exactly – but you know what I mean.

This is Kat Von D vs Formula X “Bauhau5” (Bela Lugosi’s dead…undead, undead, undead). It’s a matte deep raspberry…or, um fuchsia. It’s very similar to Sonia Kashuk “Jewel Orchid”, which is still on my toes.

I started with Sinful Colors Base Coat, then two coats of “Bauhau5”, then “HK Girl”. The first coat was streaky, but the second coat went on smoothly.

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The “Bauhau5” Studded Kiss Lipstick isn’t an exact match – it seems a little lighter than the polish.

This lipstick has good staying power. It lasted through a juicy Fuddrucker’s hamburger for lunch and then mexican food for dinner. I did use a little gloss to revive it after lunch, but my lips were pretty pink until I got ready for bed.

Oh yeah, ignore my tit zit.

Roy G. Biv

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Wow…just…WOW.

I am totally in lust with the Formula X Infinite Ombre Nail Design Set. It’s infinitely easy! You just start with “Platinum Prime”silver anchor base – and layer the four included colors however you wish – “Boundless Berry”, “Infinite Indigo”, “Timeless Teal” and “Limitless Lemon”.

I started with Orly Bonder and one coat of “Platinum Prime”. Once dry, I started on my thumb with “Boundless Berry” and layered the colors in Roy G. Biv order. The polish is a sheer jelly, formulated to layer and blend. I managed to capture every color in the rainbow by layering the 4 colors. The finishing touch was “HK Girl” for extra shine.

Definitely not worth full price ($29.50), but I don’t regret spending about $11 on the set.