Target Beauty Box – October 2017

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So, I went to go use the two coupons I got last month and they had expired the previous weekend. Ugh. So I checked the mail on the way to Target anyway and behold…this month’s box had arrived. I didn’t end up using the coupon though – Target was running a deal with a $5 giftcard with a $20 Beauty purchase – not stackable.

Anyway, what an odd collection of items in this month’s Target Beauty Box – “Cooler Temps”.

The first thing that caught my eye was the Maui Moisture Shea Butter Shampoo. I absolutely HATE getting a shampoo without matching conditioner, but I can use this with some of the hair masques I’ve been collecting. Also in this month’s weird box: Masque BAR Wrinkle-Reducing Mask (yes, please); e.l.f. Wax Brow Pencil (wonder if  my husband will let me use this on him?); Neutrogena Nourishing Eye Liner in “Spiced Chocolate”; L’Oreal Extraordinary Hair Clay System (skeptical, but at least I got both shampoo and conditioner pouches); Raw Sugar Lemon Sugar Hand Wash (odd); and Rimmel Matte Liquid Lip Color in “Be My Baby” (rusty peach).

$7 for this box, which feels like a but much for what I got…unless I remember to use my goddamn coupon this month!

Target Beauty Boxes – April 2017

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I skipped last month, but April’s boxes were so nice, I had to snag them both.

The box on the left is the “regular” box, which includes: La Roche-Posay Toleriane Purifying Foaming Cleanser (fancy); Sally Hansen Double-Duty Base & Top Coat (it’s not quick dry, so I doubt I’ll use it for anything but a base coat); HASK Argan Oil Repairing Deep Conditioner; Dr Teals Lavender Foaming Bath (I don’t have a bathtun!); eb5 Facial Cleanser (Yeah, more cleanser!); Rimmel Colour Precise White Eyeliner (this has me both excited AND scared – what crazy looks can I do with this?); and Banana Boat Dry Balance SPF 50 (ooooooh, matte sun protection).

The box on the right is the “natural”box, which includes: SheaMoisture Kukui Nut Facial Cream Cleanser + Face & Neck Cream; Juice Organics Deluxe-Size Volumizing Shampoo & Conditioner; Burt’s Bees White Tea Extract Facial Cleansing Towelettes (I hope these don’t burn like the other ones do); Hello Extra Whitening Pure Mint Flouride Toothpaste; Yes To Tomatoes Detoxifying Charcoal Mud Mask (So excited to try this); ACURE Pore Clarifying Red Clay Scrub; and Raw Sugar Lemon Sugar Body Wash.

Wow, both boxes are amazing!

Each box was $7 and came with a $3 off $15 coupon. 5% off with my Red Card, too!

Allure Beauty Thrills – December 2016

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I never did figure out who to call to change my address, so I had to wait for USPS to forward the box to me…and it wasn’t free – it cost me another $15.90 to get this last box.

The first thing I noticed is that this last box was TINY – about half the size of previous boxes. What the fuck, Allure? The boxes have gotten more expensive, but have less stuff. And the stuff is mostly weird brands I’ve never heard of.

Inside the TINY box: Arm & Hammer Truly Radiant Clean & Fresh Battery-Operated Spinbrush (No complaints – can always use a back-up); Arm & Hammer Truly Radiant Clean & Fresh Toothpaste (Also will be used); Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream; ChapStick Total Hydration Moisture + Tint in “Merlot” (another good inclusion); Dessange Professional Hair Luxury Oleo Miracle Replenishing Oil (my grandmother used to call margarine “oleo” – is this hair margarine?); Glov On-The-Go (I’ve been curious about these makeup removing mitts); an Invisibobble (looks like a telephone cord you put in your hair); imPress Gel Manicure (NO – I am NOT wearing press-on nails); KISS Salon Acrylic Nude French Nails (I guess my daughter gets two sets of fake nails); Not Your Mother’s Plump for Joy Thickening Hair Lifter (nope.); Redken Triple Take 32 Hairspray; Rimmel London Moisture Renew Lipstick in “Crystal Mauve”; Rimmel London Moisture Renew Clear Lip Liner (I do not see the point); Rituals Happy Buddha Shower Foam in “Sweet Orange & Cedar” (I got this in the last box – using this sweet smelling stuff in my shower now); Simple Skincare Hydrating Cleansing Oil (I wish I wasn’t grossed out by Cleansing Oil); WEN Hair and Body Care by Chaz Dean SIXTHIRTEEN Ultra Nourishing Intensive Body Treatment (if this stuff made my body hair fall out like the shampoo allegedly does, I’d be all over it); and Unwash Bio-Cleansing Conditioner (again, skeptical of these co-washes).

What a dinky box! I won’t be blindly buying the next Allure box that comes out – I’ll be reviewing the contents closely. SO disappointed in this box!

Target Beauty Box – September 2016

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I have so many Subscription boxes stacking up…ugh, I need to stop unpacking my other shit and unpack THESE boxes.

First up is this month’s Target Beauty Box. It included OGX Renewing Coconut Milk Shampoo (no Conditioner – fuckkkkkk); S.W. Basics Organic Lip Balm (only three ingredients – cocoa butter, coconut oil and beeswax); Maybelline The Falsies Push Up Drama Mascara, Rimmel The Only 1 Lipstick in “One of a Kind” (the insert said it would be “Naughty Nude” though); EDEN BodyWorks JojOba Deep Conditioner (I guess I can use this with the shampoo); Laneige Water Bank Moisture Cream (yassss queen); and Biore Baking Soda Cleaner (I am almost done with the full size one in my shower – I love this cleanser).

At $10, this box seemed a bit overpriced, but I feel like I’ll actually use most of the stuff in the box. I also got my $3.50 off $15 coupon – if I remember to use it. Don’t forget the 5% Red Card discount.

Allure Beauty Thrills – August 2016

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So…we’ve been in the middle of a big move and I’ve been on hiatus for the last 10 days or so…but I haven’t stopped hoarding. I’ll never stop hoarding…I’ll just have to get more creative, since the new house is about 800 square feet smaller than my old house.

The first thing I must find room for…August’s Allure Beauty Thrills Box. I ordered for the whole year and it showed up on my doorstep a few days before my move. I haven’t even gotten to try any of it yet! Inside the suspiciously light August box: Arm & Hammer Truly Radiant Clean & Fresh Battery-Operated Spinbrush and Truly Radiant Clean & Fresh Toothpaste (I’m starting to rely on getting these in every box); Aveeno Pure Renewal Shampoo and Conditioner (it’s sulfate-free, which is good for my septic system); ChapStick Total Hydration Moisture + Tint Rose Petal (I love the ChapStick Total Hydration and I love Roses – I would have bought this if I hadn’t received it in this box); Grande Naturals GrandeLIPS (not sure if my lips need to be any plumper, but I’ll give it a shot); ittse Eye Shadow in “Obsidian” (another shadow for my new zPalette – oops, haven’t posted about that yet); Lumene Bright Now Vitamin C Sleeping Cream; Neutrogena Ultra Light Cleansing Oil (I bet this would ROCK with my Clarisonic); Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream (I am guessing my husband will be getting this one to use after a shift on the tractor); Not Your Mother’s Double Take Dry Finish Texture Spray; One ‘n Only Argan Oil Treatment; Redken Diamond Oil Glow Dry; Rimmel London The Only 1 Lipstick in “Oh-So Wicked” (Oh, dark crimson); Rituals Happy Buddha Foaming Shower Gel (excited to try this!); RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle (I haven’t tried the first one yet); RUSK Styling Collection Elixir Mist; Sally Hansen Miracle Gel Duo Pack – in “Flower Crown” – and Big Cuticle Oil; Simple Skincare Dual Effect Eye Make-Up Remover; Skinfix Daily Lotion; Toppik Hair Building Fibers (Uhhhhh…no); and WEN Spring Gardenia Green Tea Cleansing Conditioner (the one product I WILL NOT try…there’s a class action lawsuit alleging hair loss – FUCK THAT SHIT).

I have another box coming in December…I just need to figure out who to call to change my address!

Birchbox Limited Edition – CEW Insider 2015

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I loved last year’s boxes, so I snatched up this year’s CEW Insider boxes as soon as I got the email. Again, $28 for both boxes…but I had $20 in Birchbox points, so I got all this for $8. And since I’m now a Birchbox Ace, free shipping!

The Prestige Headliners Box has these fancy products: Benefit They’re Real! Push-Up Liner (time for a friendly game of eye liner chicken); COOLA SPF 50 Sport in “Mango” (this stuff ROCKS – waterproof protection with NO breakouts); Fekkai Hair Fragrance Mist – “Creme Vanillee” (actually smells good – like Blue Bell Natural Vanilla Bean – craving it so bad now, but I can’t have it); GlamGlow ThirstyMus Hydrating Treatment with a bonus foil pack of PowerMud DualCleanse Treament; Marula Pure Marula Facial Oil; and NUDESTIX Lip/Cheek Pencil in “Blush”.

The Mass Appeal Box has drugstore finds, but certainly not the cheap stuff: Burt’s Bees Lip Crayon in “Sedona Sands” (can’t tell if the color will end up nude or not); Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleansing Cloths; LANEIGE Water Sleeping Mask (Yes!); Olay Regenerist Luminous Dark Circle Corresting HydraSwirl Eye Cream (I still haven’t cracked the jar I got in my last Target Beauty Box); Rimmel Scandaleyes Rockin’ Eyes Curves Mascara in “Black”; and Simple Skincare Ultra-Light Gel Moisturizer (I am loving the new gel moisturizers).

You can still get these boxes from Birchbox – get to clickin’.

Influenster Vox Box – Frosty Vox Box

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I finally qualified for an Influenster Vox Box! That golden moment when you have just the right demographics and the Influenster gods shine down on you and send you box full of fun stuff to test out – complimentary, for testing purposes, of course.

Inside my Frosty Vox Box: Boots No 7 Protect & Perfect Intense Advanced Serum (I had gotten a sample in my Target Beauty Box and used it last night – what a coinkidink); NYC Expert Last Lip Color in “Sugar Plum”; Celestial Seasonings Candy Cane Lane Decaf Green Tea (This will go to Logan); EcoTools Sleek + Shine Finisher Hair Brush (Excited!); Rimmel Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal Eyeliner in “Black” and Gentle Eyes Makeup Remover (Yay! I am almost out of my Ulta Makeup Remover); McCormick Gourmet Thyme (This will go to my husband); and Fruit Vines Bites in “Cherry” (These will go to Lily).

This box has something for everyone! I can’t wait to dig in…

Check out Influenster for yourself…

He Sees You When You’re Sleeping…

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Well, originally, I was going for a sexy Freddy Krueger look, but what I ended up with Xmas fingers. Oh well, both of those assholes see you when you’re sleeping.

After Orly Bonder, I painted one coat of Rimmel 60 Seconds “Passion”. I painted stripes with Sinful Colors “Pine Away” and then topped it all with Julep “Shoshanna”. Since “Shoshanna” is gold with red and green highlights, I thought it was match the red and green really well – and it did, although in a very Xmas ornament type of way.

I got one final use out of my Sally Hansen Diamond Flash and then threw the bottle away. My husband asked me if I was going to “have a funeral for my dead solider.” He’s silly…but I considered it.

America, Fuck YEAH

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Don’t these patriotic nails just say, “America, Fuck YEAH!”???

I’ve been waiting at least 6 months for the 4th of July. Julep “America” isn’t just an everyday polish…

I started with Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat. Rimmel “Blue Eyed Girl” for my blue, Julep “Bunny” for my white and Zoya “Sooki” for my red. I used just a single coat of each. I topped each nail with Julep “America” and then finished with Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat. The Revlon dried fairly quickly and didn’t bubble or crack…good news!

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My BFF also did “America, Fuck YEAH!” nails.

Her blue was Sinful Colors “Ciao Bella”, her white was Julep “Bunny” and her red was Sinful Colors “Gogo Girl”. She also topped with Julep “America” – I got a dupe in my Cupid Mystery Box and gave it to her.

We’re twinkies!

Superman Dat Ho

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Why yes, I DO get all my ideas from Urban Dictionary.

Superman Dat Ho is a base coat of Rimmel 60 Second “Blue Eyed Girl”, topped with a coat of Julep “America” – red, white and silver glitter, with silver stars. I LURVES it!

In related fragrance sample news, I tried the Versace sample that I got from Ulta yesterday. It was SO FOUL that my husband demanded that I take a shower. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to shower again and had to leave the house. As soon as I got back home from Lily’s gymnastics class, I scrubbed up to the elbows with AntiBac, like a fucking surgeon. I can still kind of smell it.

To be fair, it might have been men’s cologne. Whatever it was, it was GROSS.