My kids tried to tell me that they couldn’t take a shower because they were out of soap. I had to venture out into the hot sun to Big Lots during lunch to eliminate that ridiculous excuse. My kids love cheap character soap and shampoo that’s $1 at Big Lots, so they can have their choice of smelling like Dora, My Little Pony, Monster High, Spongebob – whatever. I filled my cart.

I couldn’t resist picking up a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups lipgloss. Surely my husband would enjoy a big sloppy smackeroo that tastes like his favorite candy? Unfortunately, the cheap tube was leaky and slimy when I took it out of the package. Even worse, it smelled rancid. It was just like those Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellies. That fucking nasty shit went right in the trash. Oh well, it was only $1.

I also stopped by the Dollar Tree next store to grab one of the Beauty Concepts Skull Polishes – I saw it on Instagram and had to have one. I need another pink polish like I need a hole in my head, but again…it was only $1.