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Target Beauty Box

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Did you know that Target has a “Beauty Box”? Luckily, it’s not a monthly subscription – just an occasional thing. Plus, it’s only $5! ($4.75 using my Target Card and free shipping.) All the products are either Deluxe Samples or full size products, so it’s a steal.

TONI&GUY Casual Sea Salt Texturizing Spray – I use the Bath & Body Works version, so I’ll actually use this.

L’Oreal Voluminous Butterfly Mascara – I’m skeptical that what they call “butterfly lashes” really look like “tarantula lashes”, but I’ll give it a go.

Herbal Essences Naked Dry Shampoo – I could’ve used this while I was camping…

Cover Girl Smoochies Sizzle Gloss in “Date Night” – It’s a clear gloss with silver glitter, barely visible while on. I’ll likely use this before I go to bed.

Jergens BB Body Cream Light – The same product I got in my Birchbox, but a larger size tube. Nice…

The box also came with a $3 off $15 coupon, so this box was really just $1.75. Even if I only use a few of the products, it was a great deal!

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March Birchbox – Spring Forward

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The best part about getting out of town for a few days (besides how good it feels to return home), is returning to find a mailbox full of boxes.

My 2nd Birchbox was waiting for me when I got home. It’s not quite as exciting as the first time, since I figured out that you can go online and see what products are coming your way. Who needs surprises anyway?

A minuscule tube of Air Repair Rescue Balm – A salve for dry, chapped skin – after camping for a few days, my skin is super dry – I really needed this!

A sample spray vial of DKNY Be Delicious Hydrating Eau de Toilette Spray – An apple-y scented body spray that is supposed to “hydrate and brighten” skin. I don’t know if I want to smell like an apple…

A full-size stila lip glaze in Candy Apple. I couldn’t wait – I’m wearing it right now! I love the little applicator brush. It’s more red than I usually wear, but I like the look. It’s thicker than gloss, but thinner than a lipstick.

A largish tube of Supergoop! City Suncreen Serum – anti-aging and UV protection in one! I am intrigued…

My box also included a sample tube of Jergens BB Body. I’m crazy about BB Creams right now, so the first thing I did after taking a picture of my box, was slather this stuff all over my decolletage. You’re welcome for the visual…

If you would like to try Birchbox, click on my referral link – https://www.birchbox.com/invite/5453f – I’ll get 50 points if you join.

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Red Ruby Tootsies

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Ruby Red slippers…Ruby Red Toenails.

I was a bit disappointed in Julep’s “Ruby Slippers” – I guess I was expecting a full coverage glitter, but this is more sheer. I got decent coverage with 2 coats, but as my husband put it – “subtle”. Next time I use it, I’m going to try it as a topcoat over a plain red. Maybe that will give me the technicolor pop I’m looking for?

…and don’t give me shit about that one random toe hair – I didn’t think to groom before I took the pic.

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St. Paddy’s Nails

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I’m rockin’ a St. Patrick’s Day mani. I hope I have enough patience to leave it until the holiday on Monday.

I probably don’t.

It’s not that I don’t believe in myself…it’s Spring Break and I’m off for a week.

The first coat is Julep “Emerald City” from my Oz set. The top coat is Julep “Beatrix”.

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Trends I Hate: Stiletto Nails

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Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Rihanna…ladies, you look like WITCHES with those silly pointy fingernails.

How do you text? How do you put on pantyhose? How do you pick your nose? I know you have all manner of assistants to help you complete every day tasks that would be impossible for a normal woman with Stiletto Nails…but does your assistant wipe your ass for you, too? Seriously – all kinds of feminine care and hygiene are a dangerous proposition with those harpy claws.

So Stiletto Nails are all about luxury. This is the manicure that says, “I don’t have shit to do.” No dishes to wash, no diapers to change and definitely no foreplay. This is the manicure that says, “Touching a penis is below me.” This is the manicure that says, “My children have a nanny, so I don’t have to worry about accidentally putting one of their eyes out while giving them a bath.”

Thanks, but no thanks celebrity trendsetters. You can keep your ugly witch fingers. I’ll be over her with my old-lady-looking rounded tips.

 

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My 1st Ipsy Bag

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Once I get started…I keep going and going and going…

So I signed up for Ipsy – a monthly makeup bag subscription. It’s only $10 and you get a different makeup bag each month, with 4-5 products.

This month’s theme is “Destination Beauty”. I received an NYX Love in Rio 3 Color Shadow Palette “The Brazilian”, bare Minerals Marvelous Moxie Lipstick in “Get Ready”, Chella Eyeliner Pen in “Indigo”…and Pixi Flawless Beauty Primer. What the FUCK is up with primers? Send me some damn BB Cream!

If you’d like to try Ipsy – click here. I’ll earn 250 points if you sign up through my link.

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They’re in my head!

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I am starting to think that those Julep people are stalking me. How else are they able to keep churning out products that seem like they are created JUST for me?

It’s no secret that The Wizard of Oz is my favorite movie. (I actually just bought the 75th Anniversary Collector’s Edition Blu Ray…and I don’t even own a Blu Ray player. Duh.) I would only answer to the name “Dorothy” when I was 4. Short of a tattoo, I don’t think I could be any more obsessed. It goes without saying that when the set popped into the Julep Secret Store for $19.99, I snatched it up immediately.

The set includes 4 full size polishes – “Ruby Slippers” (red glitter), “Tin Man” (silver holographic), “Glinda” (light pink frost) and “Emerald City” (emerald creme). I was mildly irritated that the inside of the box was a little mangled around the Tin Man, but I’ll try not to whine too much…

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Classy, not Brassy

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I tried and tried and tried to come up with a filthy way to describe this manicure, but I simply couldn’t. It’s too classy.

So that’s what it’s called – Classy.

I used Julep “Lois” – not for the color necessarily, but to hide the blue stains on my nails from the last paint job. I then topped with Julep “Oscar”. The results were stunning. If light isn’t hitting the glitter directly, it’s almost a nude look…but as soon as light hits the glitter, it’s like each finger is a miniature gold disco ball. My husband busted me staring at my fingers last night. I tried to explain to him that if you had little disco balls on your fingertips, you wouldn’t be able to stop looking at them either!

I feel that I have disappointed you. I promise that I’ll try to be filthier in the future.

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Hoarding Exhibit 3: The Shower

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If my AntiBac collection was exhibit 1 and my lotion basket was exhibit 2, then my shower stall is exhibit 3 in .

“Pure Paradise”. “Mad About You”. “Butterfly Flower”. “Paris in Bloom”. “Carried Away”. “Black Raspberry Vanilla”. “Carried Away”. “Into the Wild”.

Oh…and up top, Lush Pure Rose, Herbal Essences and Caress “Daily Silkening” Body Washes…and “Carried Away” Sugar Scrub.

I’ve got more issues than National Geographic.

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Superman Dat Ho

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Why yes, I DO get all my ideas from Urban Dictionary.

Superman Dat Ho is a base coat of Rimmel 60 Second “Blue Eyed Girl”, topped with a coat of Julep “America” – red, white and silver glitter, with silver stars. I LURVES it!

In related fragrance sample news, I tried the Versace sample that I got from Ulta yesterday. It was SO FOUL that my husband demanded that I take a shower. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to shower again and had to leave the house. As soon as I got back home from Lily’s gymnastics class, I scrubbed up to the elbows with AntiBac, like a fucking surgeon. I can still kind of smell it.

To be fair, it might have been men’s cologne. Whatever it was, it was GROSS.