A Solid Fart
So I made the mistake of asking my son what he he thought about my fingernail polish…he said it looks like “a solid fart.” After questioning him, he claimed that he had pooped this color before – and I stated that he needs medical care. He laughed at me as he walked away. Even though it sounded like he was saying my nails look like shit, I know that’s not what he meant. He meant that they look like chili beans, so I can kind of see that.
This is Julep “Fazia”. (Is Julep running out of polish names? May I recommend “Lara” or “Lilith”???) It was a true one coater, but I used two just to be sure. It was smooth and didn’t streak – and NO bubbles! I used Revlon Quick Dry Base and Top Coat, which seem to work best with Julep.
I can’t wait hear what my next polish looks like…boogers, barf or some other excrement?
November Julep Maven Box – The Friendsgiving Collection
I got my Julep box yesterday – but I wanted to try the Length Matters Wow-Impact Mascara before writing the review.
Holy shit – this is absolutely the BEST mascara I’ve ever used. (Keep in mind that I’ve gotten over a dozen mascaras in the past few months – I’ve tried EVERYTHING.) The formula goes on smooth with no clumping and really does make your lashes look a zillion miles long. It’s very similar to my previous favorite mascara – Maybelline Lash Stiletto. The bottle designs is good, too – it doesn’t squish out of the top of the tube when you put the wand back in – I HATE that. This mascara is worth the $26 retail price.
Back to the rest of the box…November is “The Friendsgiving Collection”. I customized my box to get Bombshell “Fazia” – liquid garnet shimmer – and It Girl “Kiki” – oceanic silver shimmer, in addition to the Length Matters Wow-Impact Mascara.
Also included in my box were 2 of the best caramels I have ever had – Goetze’s Caramel Creams. I ate them immediately and did not share. They were more buttery than Paula Deen’s underpants!
The Supreme
So, since Daylight Savings Time ended, it’s dark when I get home and I have had to get creative to find good enough light to take nail pictures. My husband switched all of the bulbs to LED, which saves money…but LED lights SUCK for pictures. I get so-so results in my bathroom, but this time I used my son’s desk lamp. It’s better, but not ideal. Nothing beats sunlight, but I guess I’m screwed until March.
This is Delush Polish “The Supreme” from the “Scream Supreme Collection”, inspired by American Horror Story. It’s a blood red jelly, filled with different sizes of red glitter. The red is so deep that’s hard to see all the glitter. Orly Bonder for the base coat and I used Sally Hansen Diamond Flash for the top coat…except for my ring finger. I hadn’t tried out Zoya Matte Velvet Top Coat yet and OH MY GAWD. I love it so much more on this polish than the shiny shiny. It dries super quick, too – almost like a quick dry!
Only three more Delushies to try!
Gambit
Zoya “Remy” is so beautiful that it changed my plans.
I had intended to just use “Remy” on my toes and continue with the Delush Polish “Scream Supreme Collection” on my fingers…but no…I saw it on my toes and changed my mind. Sorry Delushies, I’ll have to get my freakshow on later.
Zoya’s site describes “Remy” as brilliant indigo with copper and gold liquid metallic. It’s from the Fall 2014 Ignite Collection. Like all Zoyas, the formula is absolutely perfect. I used Orly Bonder for the base coat and Sally Hansen Diamond Flash for the top coat.
I looooooooove it.
Watch Out, I’m About to Try Nail Art
A few days ago, I got a mysterious envelope in the mail. Except for my name and address, everything on the envelope was in Chinese. I was so stinking confused – I wasn’t expecting anything from China. I used to occasionally receive DVDs in the mail when I was more active on Knobbyverse, but it didn’t feel like a DVD. What could it be???
Oh yeah…I had forgotten that I had ordered a cheap ass nail art kit from Amazon several weeks before. It was $4.32 and had free shipping. My husband wanted the brushes for Halloween makeup, but we ended up using different brushes. There are also dotting tools and nail striping tape.
It may be a few weeks before I work up the gumption to try out my new tools, but I wanted to at least warn you that nail art is coming…
Maleficent in a Motorcycle Jacket
So…even though I haven’t seen the movie, I’m gonna be Maleficent for Halloween. It’s not that I’m lazy, but as I get older, I’m quite content to pick costumes that consist of wearing a hat and dressing in black.
I was googling Maleficent pictures yesterday to check out her nails and I was absolutely infuriated that Angelina Jolie had cream colored nails in the film. That’s no fun – no fun at all! How can an evil fairy have delicate, cream colored nails?
Nope, nope, nope – I can’t do cream colored nails for Halloween.
Since Maleficent is decked out in black leather, I decided to try out Revlon Leather Cuir “Motorcycle Jacket” from the Revlon Textile Collection. This is a nice deep black with a soft, pebbled texture. It’s more like rubber than leather. It’s shinier than I expected – it almost looks wet – like wet tires! It goes on super smooth and dries fairly quickly. I used Revlon Quick Dry Base Coat, but no top coat – a top coat would ruin the texture.
I can’t wait for tomorrow!
Slimer!
Sticking with the Ghostbusters theme, I had to do “glow in the dark” Slimer nails. (NO hot dog jokes…)
This is Funky Fingers “Oogie Boogie” – slimy lime green jelly with green and yellow hex and bar glitter. This is the most glowy “glow in the dark” polish I’ve found – even glowier than “Dia de Muertos”.
I used Revlon Quick Dry Base and Top Coat.
I’m getting better and better at taking pictures in the dark.
I took this one in my dark ass powder room, instead of my closet. I always end up stepping on shoes and knocking belts on the floor in my closet – the powder room is the way to go.
There is no Dana…Only Zuul
Julep “Dana” is white with an electric blue shimmer AND is black light reactive. Cool!
Orly Bonder for a smooth start and Sally Hansen Diamond Flash for extra shine…there are a few odd bubbles in the finish, but nothing too serious.
Can I tell you how much I HATE white fingernail polish? Not only is it almost impossible to get a smooth finish, I always end up getting crinkly edges around my cuticles. It also chips super easy. As you can see, I managed to chip my index finger already – I hit my fingernail with my razor in the shower this morning, but I guess I should be thankful I didn’t lose the tip of my finger.
So I’m not in college anymore and don’t have a black light anywhere in my house. (There’s a time and place for everything, kids – that’s college.)
My son happened to have a tiny black light from an invisible ink set, so I borrowed it to take a picture of my nails. I locked myself in the closet, held the black light in my teeth, trying to aim it at my left hand while taking a picture with my right. I felt like a dumbass.
Now I know how R. Kelly felt.
She Loves Me!
My BFF really loves me! While she was vacationing in Seattle a few weeks ago, she stopped by a Walgreen’s and picked up a few Sinful Colors for me – “Queen of Beauty” and “Purple Diamond”. (She had also gotten me “Starry Night”, but since I already had that one – she got to keep it.)
It’s been like a month since we hung out, but we finally got to hang out yesterday. On the way back from visiting her sis in the hospital (who is like my sis), we stopped at HEB for random shit and I couldn’t resist picking up NYC “Fashion Queen”, because with the $1 off coupon…SHIT, it was 98 cents.
Mediterranean Fall
When you get those GOOD coupons in your email…50% off selected fall items, 3 wick candles 2/$22 and an additional 25% off your purchase…you gotta go!
I picked up two candles – “Smoked Berries & Incense” and “Topaz Waters”. I let my husband smell them – he wrinkled his nose and banned them from the bedroom. Awwwww!
I showed restraint and picked up three 50% off hand soaps – “Topaz Waters”, “Moroccan Fig & Honey” (my husband HATED this one), and “Malaysian Pomegranate”.
On a related note, I switched out the summer scent – “Aloha Orchid” – from my powder room and replaced it with a winter scent – “Sparkling Pink Champagne”. My son got really upset – because it didn’t smell as good. Soap is a very divisive issue in our house.