Stained Glass


Pictures do not do my nails justice – they are gorgeous!

I started with a coat of Sally Hansen “Flirt” – a dark maroon. Then I added a sloppy coat of Sparitual Luminary Matte Top Effect in “Opaline”. My nails looks like stained glass. Blood-splattered stained glass!

This is my first experience with Sparitual products. The bottle says Vegan, but I bought it anyway. (At first I thought they were referring to ingredients, but then I realized they must be referring to the animal testing aspect. Feh, I put nail polish all over my dog and she’s fine.) It’s the most expensive polish I’ve ever bought at $12, but again, my nails look damn good.


20% Off Ulta Haul


Send me a coupon…and I’m gonna use it.

Ulta has always been pretty free with their $3.50 off coupons, but they’re nothing special, since you can’t use them on “Prestige” brands. But the 20% off coupon they sent IS usable on “Prestige”. That’s kind of a big deal.

Since I had just ordered the Too Faced “Boudoir Eyes” Palette for my BFF, I decided I wanted it, too. (We don’t get all salty when we get the same products – we like buying the same makeup, carrying the same purses, wearing the same horsemask.) They were out of the free “Better Than Sex” mascara, but the clerk gave me a sample of Bare Minerals “Lash Domination”.

As I was testing Too Faced BB Cream, the stila makeup artist asked if I had any questions. I didn’t realize she was just stila, so she couldn’t answer any of my questions about the Too Faced stuff. For once, I didn’t have my kids with me, so I figured why not try the stila? (It’s funny how these makeup artists talk shit about other brands. I mentioned that I used to use Bare Minerals and she said it’s basically like rubbing dirt on my face.) I let her try out the stila Stay All Day Foundation on me. Honestly, it wasn’t bad, but too much work for me. I DID like the Set & Correct Baked Powder Trio and bought it. I also picked up 3 of the lip glazes from last month’s Birchbox – Red Velvet, Lychee and Banana Berry – they were 3 for $15!

Finally, I grabbed a Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz pencil in “Soft Brown”. I’ve heard good things about Anastasia Dip Brow, but again – too much work for me. I’ve already tried the pencil and I’m liking it so far…lighter than the normal cheapie pencils I use, but more natural.

My initial total was about $115, but with the 20% off coupon and $11 in Ulta Rewards, it was $79…this post should have been called “How to Make Your Husband Shit a Brick.”


I’m a Giver


It doesn’t matter that her birthday is still almost 3 weeks away…as soon as I got the last part of her gift in the mail, I had to give my BFF her birthday present. Mostly because I was afraid she might visit Ulta herself…

She wanted the Too Faced “Boudoir Eyes” Palette really bad…solely based on the fact that there is a color of eye shadow called “Sugar Walls”. I guess she wants to unleash her inner Sheena Easton. The palette came with a free “Better Than Sex” mascara and eye shadow primer.

She also wanted the Urban Decay Naked Palette. She already had Naked 3 and her daughter has Naked 2, so now her life is complete – she can die happy with fabulous eyes.




Ulta Mail


Sick of looking at my fingernails? Let me tell you about the Ulta mail that was in my mailbox today after I went shopping at Ulta…

I’m not sharing all of the items in my box yet – more gifts – but in addition to the gifts, I picked up my first essie polish – essie luxeffects “Set in Stones”. I also got Sparitual Luminary Top Effect “Opaline”. I saw it in the store over Spring Break and I’ve been thinking about it non-stop, so why not?

My gift with purchase was samples from it Cosmetics by Jamie Kern (never heard of them before) – Vitality Lip Blush Hydrating Lip Gloss Stain in “Naturally Flushed”, Bye Bye Under Eye Full Coverage Anti-Aging Waterproof Concealer and a tiny packet of Medium CC+ Cream – bummed that it will be WAY too dark for me.

My free samples were Biolage Exquisite Oil Shampoo and Conditioner, DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel and Ouidad Climate Control Heat and Humidity Gel. I need to stop getting hair shit samples…


Glitter to the Rescue!


The more polish that I buy, the harder it is to choose! It’s a conundrum worthy of O. Henry…

So why choose? I knew I had to do something to stop the rapid degradation of Julep “Caitlin” from my nails. Instead of picking just one…I picked 5 glitters.

From thumb to pinky, I used Sally Hansen Gem Crush “Razzle Dazzler”, wet n wild coloricon “The Crown is Mine”, Julep “Antonia”, Nicole by OPI “Rainbow in the S-Kylie” (Yes, I am guilty of contributing to the Kardashians’ empire by buying clearance nail polish at HEB – shoot me) and Julep “Betty”.

I LOVE this crazy glitter bonanza!


I’m a Barbie Girl…


…in a Barbie world. Life in plastic – it’s fantastic!

You just sang that in your head, didn’t you?

After the Traffic Cones incident, I had high hopes for the other polish from my April Julep Box. “Caitlin” is described as shocking hibiscus with gold shimmer. To me, it looks more like the Barbie pink plastic that all of my daughter’s Barbie shit is made from. It’s cheap plastic from China – so sheer that you can almost see through it….just like “Caitlin”. This time, I only applied one coat – it was the same matte finish as “Mariska”, so I topped with “Freedom Polymer”.

Unlike “Mariska”, I LOVE the color – I just hate the finish. Even with the topcoat, it’s chipping ridiculously quickly. I’m sleepy, so GLITTER TO THE RESCUE!


Traffic Cones


Do my fingernails remind you of a construction zone?

Orange is my least favorite color to begin with…but the description of Julep “Mariska” sounded inviting: juicy tangerine shimmer. I put on a thin first coat…and it dried matte. Hmmm…I put on a second coat…still matte and gross. Julep “Freedom Polymer Topcoat” to the rescue! I will admit that this top coat is awesome in a lot of ways. It dried immediately and I’m pretty sure it would make this paint job last a week without major chips…but I need to practice putting it on more thinly. It puckered around the edges and crackled. I even got an air bubble in it! Amateur mistake!

I am rarely disappointed in Julep, but I’ll admit I’m disappointed in “Mariska”. I won’t give up – I’ll try it under glitter, but I definitely do not like it alone.

I’m going to take this orange shit off my nails RIGHT NOW.


April Julep Maven Box – The Vivid Collection


A new record – I received my monthly Julep Box on the 31st!

April’s theme is “The Vivid Collection”. I’m much more excited about this month’s collection compared to last month’s “Riviera Collection”. I had a hard time choosing this month, so I kind of cheated. I wanted a box with the “Pore-Minimizing Blush” in “Petal Pink”, so I chose the “Classic with a Twist” box, which also came with two polishes – “Mariska”, juicy tangerine shimmer and “Caitlin”, shocking hibiscus with gold shimmer. My cheat was adding on “Tatum”neon chartreuse chrome – from the “Bombshell” box. I TOTALLY need to get a job writing the descriptions of these colors.

This month’s extra is 2 pieces of hard candy. Really, Julep? REALLY?

Not a Julep Maven? CLICK HERE to join! Your first box is free with code FREEBOX!


Nekkid Nails


Well technically, my nails aren’t nekkid. I’m trying out Julep’s “Oxygen Nail Treatment”.

It’s no surprise that since becoming a Julep Maven last November, my nails have been seeing a lot of action. All this painting and de-glitterfying is starting to take a toll on the health of my nails. I’m not able to let me nails grow nearly as long as I used to…they have been peeling and cracking. Oxygen Nail Treatment is supposed to fix that – read the description from Julep’s site:


Complete nail care and make-up all in one bottle. Made with a patented Hexanal formulation, nails are restructured to a stronger, thicker, and smoother condition in just one stroke. Advanced plant stem cell complex provides anti-aging benefits, while ground-breaking oxygen technology forms a nonocclusive film on the nail, proving resistant to water penetration and improving the permeability to oxygen. Results are nails that are structurally stronger, and less prone to breakage and splitting.

I was up late watching the season finale of The Walking Dead last night, so I only put one coat after I saw how long the first coat was tacky. 2-3 coats probably would have camouflaged my yellowed nails more completely, but I can’t complain about how smooth and shiny they are.

Since I got my April Julep Box today, I don’t imagine I’ll be able to NOT paint my nails tomorrow, but I’m hoping my nails will be somewhat healthier by then…


Sephora Stop


Since I have known him…and really, since his early 20s, my husband has been a one fragrance man – “Tsar” by Van Cleef & Arpels. It’s a unique scent that you’ve probably never even heard of…but it’s unmistakably him.

Of course, the fragrance was discontinued several years ago and it’s getting harder and harder to find…and what we do find is OLD. How does he replace a unique scent that he’s been wearing for 20+ years?

So for my husband’s birthday back in December, I got him a gift set from Sephora with samples of 10-12 different fragrances, with a certificate for a full size of his favorite one. After trying several of them, we decided on “Uomo” by Ermengildo Zegna. (I know, I’ve never heard of it either.) I visited Sephora back in February (when I went to pick up the Big Girl Makeup) and they no longer carried it. WTF Sephora? I was going to call Sephora Customer Service and bitch about it, but I haven’t quite fully turned into my mother…yet.

In any case, we decided this morning that the runner up was “Bvlgari Man Extreme”. Whereas “Uomo” was somewhat similar to “Tsar”, “Extreme” is very different. It’s woodsy, but citrusy. So after a hectic hour at Build-A-Bear with Lily and Lexie, I stopped by and picked it up…the beginning of a new era?

While I was there, I also picked up a rollerball of Balenciaga “Rosabotanica”. Those who know me well, know I gravitate towards rose scents, much to the dismay of my husband. He thinks it makes me smell like his grandmother. As much as I’ve been put off by the Kristen Stewart “Rosabotanica” campaign, I had to have some. Next time you see me, please sniff me and give my your thoughts…